Things People Pass Off For Compliments and Things Skinny People Say That Piss You Off

[enterprise01 0]

Try not to be so hard on those thin, young women who complain about the extra 2 pounds they are carrying around. That was once me. I was very thin in my early 20s and worked hard on it. Five pounds of extra weight was devastating to me. Sure, I had friends who had real weight problems, but when I looked at them, I never saw them as fat. I always thought they were just fine, but I couldn't stand to look at myself in the mirror. It's odd, but being 100 lbs overweight actually bothered me less than being 5 or 10 lbs overweight. At 10 lbs overweight, I had no excuse for not getting control of it and losing those pounds. I mean, after all, it's only 10 pounds. Anyone should be able to lose 10 pounds, right? That's not insurmountable. The fact that I couldn't do it made me feel like a huge failure, which plummeted my self-esteem and eventually caused me to spin out of control. But once I put on a lot of weight, the problem was insurmountable, so I didn't feel so bad about not getting it under control. It's kind of like I wouldn't feel bad about not being able to run a marathon, but if I couldn't even walk a 5K, I'd be ashamed of myself.

And let's face it, women in their 20s are usually dating men in their 20s and there are a lot of superficial a**holes out there in that age group. My current boyfriend is the only man ever dated who has never criticized my appearance. Even when I was 100 lbs overweight, he still told me I was beautiful. When I was thin, every boyfriend I had would make rude comments if I gained even a couple of pounds. With that kind of influence, it's understandable why someone with low self-esteem would agonize over 5-10 lbs of extra weight. Believe me, that skinny girl with all those body image issues doesn't even notice or realize that the person standing next to her has a real weight problem.

[gingerbug 3]

awesome, a swing! And I hate having to wonder if I am too heavy for things that have a weight limit!!

[socalgal3 4]

I had one today that irritated me. A thin lady at work commented out loud to everyone in the office how I was "wasting away". I suppose that is a compliment that I have lost weight, but I am 5'6" and 165-still overweight on all charts I've checked. "Wasting away" is how I might describe someone who is dying. And not to their face at that! Maybe I'm just being hypersensitive, but it didn't sound like a compliment.....

[bandster_1007 1]

awesome, a swing! And I hate having to wonder if I am too heavy for things that have a weight limit!!

that is definately one of the things that i am looking forward too, i will actually be able to get on the trampoline with my son...

there is a list on here somewhere about things that have improved...well...the weight limit thing and not having to have the "large" sized arm cuff at the dr's office when they are checking my blood pressure are two big pluses (not to mention the swing HEHE).

Socal Gal, wasting away would definately not be a compliment to me either. Sometimes i think people just do not think about the way that they say things and how it will affect the other person. It's hard though to just excuse it.

enterprise 01, i remember when i was anorexic and there was one girl in our whole school (small school) who was obese (try finding a school like that now). anyways, i would complain about being so fat and she would be around and i wouldn't think anything about it. i had no intentions on being hurtful, and when i looked in the mirror i looked just like her, but i knew our clothing size and scale said otherwise. i had done this for several months as my weight seemed to be my favorite topic. One day she looked as if she was about to cry and she just said, "i wish you would shut up, you are not fat and it is insulting to hear you say that you are. how can you look at me and then look back at yourself and call yourself fat". Of course she had no idea that i starved myself until my body would take itself to the refridgerator (freaky) or that i had thrown up so much that i could tighten my stomach muscles and cause myself to do it again (eventually it was uncontrollable). when she did find out she was more understanding. however, i was selfish, but i had no idea until she said that. after that day i do not make it a habit to call myself fat if there is anyone around me that is even close to my size. i do joke about my weight a lot, but i do not moan and complain about how fat i am and how it is so disgusting like i did then. (i am a lot older now though).

[enterprise01 0]

.... i do joke about my weight a lot, but i do not moan and complain about how fat i am and how it is so disgusting like i did then. (i am a lot older now though).

Age does bring wisdom. Usually the hard way. I have a friend at work who is as skinny as can be (close to anorexic), and she's absolutely convinced she has a large stomach. I make terrible fun of her and can always get her to laugh at herself, but how I wish she didn't really feel that way because she's such a beautiful lady and her stomach is not big in the slightest.

Socalgal, I'd take the "wasting away" comment as a compliment. She's obviously exaggerating to emphasize how significant your weight loss is. Be flattered that she's noticed. People have made similar comments to me, like "pretty soon if you turn sideways, you'll disappear." I usually respond with something like, "well, that's the plan." Then I tell them that I've worked hard to get the weight off and that I really appreciate that they've noticed.

This past weekend I saw a friend that I hadn't seen since before the band, and he didn't notice my weight loss at all. He asked me what I'd been up to this past year, and I told him that I've lost 70 lbs and am still working on it. His sincere response was "You did not. When were you fat? You've never had that much weight to lose." I just laughed and told him he needed glasses. He was so completely shocked. He honestly did not remember that I was fat. I guess that's good, but I kind of like all the compliments (even awkward ones) that I've been getting lately.

[Kelgirl68 0]

Other than these two boys in like 7th and 8th grade making comments, the only other thing that has ever stuck with me was a comment from my mother-in-law a few years back. She said to me "why don't you go get your stomach stapled"? I was dumbfounded, didn't quite know what to say other than "no, my aunt had it and now she has no stomach at all". I would never ask anyone that! That is something that is a personal decision and no one can make it for you! She now lives in another state and has no clue I got banded and never will if I can help it!!! I'm just want to go back there once I get my weight off and rub it in her face! When she lived in the same city as I am, we would go to a store, we would walk in, and she would go the opposite direction of me. I know it was because she didn't want to be seen with me. She is the kinda person who has to have her hair, makeup etc just right or she won't walk out of the house. I will have to say my husband was pretty pissed when he found out she asked me that! Unfortunately, most people now a days don't think before they open their mouths!

Kel

[Bergdorfblonde 3]

"You would be really gorgeous if you lost the weight." -So does that mean I am ugly now?

"You have such a pretty face." -This one kills me because it sounds like, "if your head were disembodied from your hideous body, you might have a chance at being attractive."

[Skinny_Jill 36]

Back when I weighed around 170 and I was shopping with a friend in the petite section because I am 5'1" a lady stopped and looked at me and said "you know this is the petite section." I looked at her and said "yes, petite means 5'4" and under." So rude! Not a compliment at all but I wanted to share.

The best is always "You have such a pretty face."

[Away2me 1]

I told my mom about my surgery and she was so excited that, "you are finally going to look like yourself". Huh? Then for Christmas she gave me a Magic Bullet blender and told me, "Don't go blending anything fattening in this". Oh and of course the kicker was the weight loss powder drink mix and the Pig christmas ornament. (pic attached) She giggled as she said, "this is your before". Ha ha

Nothing like a little support from good ol mom right? :rolleyes

[bandster_1007 1]

I told my mom about my surgery and she was so excited that, "you are finally going to look like yourself". Huh? Then for Christmas she gave me a Magic Bullet blender and told me, "Don't go blending anything fattening in this". Oh and of course the kicker was the weight loss powder drink mix and the Pig christmas ornament. (pic attached) She giggled as she said, "this is your before". Ha ha

Nothing like a little support from good ol mom right? :rolleyes

omg....from you mother!!!??? i thought it was bad that my mom said, "well it looks like you just wasted $15,000".

[mandyjo 1]

I told my mom about my surgery and she was so excited that, "you are finally going to look like yourself". Huh? Then for Christmas she gave me a Magic Bullet blender and told me, "Don't go blending anything fattening in this". Oh and of course the kicker was the weight loss powder drink mix and the Pig christmas ornament. (pic attached) She giggled as she said, "this is your before". Ha ha

Nothing like a little support from good ol mom right? :rolleyes

I am sorry to say this about your momma, but what a brat!!! The scarey thing for most people is that they don't like change. We are only changing our bodies not our personalities!! She can get lost in the woods!!!! And eat bugs for a while.

[Fort Bend Band 0]

My mother-in-law told me when she met me that she likes "puggy" girls because they tend to be nicer. Mind you, that is when I was a size 12 and first married. After 2 kids and 10 years I grew to a size 20. After, I got the lapband she was very unsupportive like I did something so harmful. I do not care that much what she thinks but it did hurt a little. Maybe she likes me fat to feel more secure about herself?

[Skinny_Jill 36]

M aunt, who is one of the sweetest people I know, said to my mom "Jill has always been pretty but she will really be beautiful now" when she found out about the surgery. I know she was trying to be nice but some people just don't get it.

[Lala D 0]

Relatives say some intereresting things. I was at my moms house during the holidays and was in her bedroom changing after working out..she said to me..."now that you have lost weight are you going to get your breasts done?" All the women in my family have humongo boobs, regardless of our weight...and mine are now DDD long, meaning they are closer to my waist than to my shoulders. I know she was not trying to be mean but geez...that hurt. :omg:

[Cerrin 3]

My favorite is when someone is telling a story and says this girl was really fat, then looks at me and says "no offence"

Hell I didnt take offence untill you said no offence