Things People Pass Off For Compliments and Things Skinny People Say That Piss You Off

[Kissmygrits 0]

"You have a pretty face" was one of the most annoying comments. Why do skinny people have to make sure to let you know that you are fat? Don't they think you know that?

Since my band and some weight loss some idiot actually told me "you'll live longer now." I understand the effects of extra weight on your health, but isn't it a little presumptuous for anybody to predict the time of your death? I responded to the woman by telling her that she could be skinny and get hit by a truck tomorrow.

I guess I sounded defensive, but it just slipped out. LOL

[orea15 0]

What has really gotten me over the years, is the people who seem to believe that overweight = stupid.

I was about 21 and 5'2" when a gyn at the army medical center said to me, "You know, if we cut you in half, we'd have two 95 pound girls!" Clever, wasn't he? Obviously he thought so. I was young and "nice" then (not so much either now), or I would have replied, "You'd have two 95 pound halfwits!" Around the same time, a dietician there said to me, "You know, 190 pounds is a lot for you." Gee, I thought it was just fine.

Flash forward to last fall when I had my first appointment with the dietician at Kaiser Permanente to start on the bariatric surgery requirement protocol. She had the nerve to look at me seriously and say: "You know if you have this surgery, you'll have to eat less." I shot back, "I thought that was the point!" (You see that 32 years have made me more...forthcoming.) I left Kaiser at my first opportunity and started my band journey over rather than deal with her idiocy (and a few other related reasons).

But my point to all of you is this: What these stupid, insensitive idiots say, says everything about them and nothing about you! It's abusive behavior and not your fault. Hold your head high and be the best person you can be. They can and probably will rot in hell if there is any justice in the afterworld. :smile:

Hugs,

Orea

[Fort Bend Band 0]

I have a story that is more like a Karma thing releted to weight loss. One of my friens grown son started dating a "big girl" as they would all say. I would ask as time went on if they were getting serious. The parents would say that their son really likes her and she treats him so good but that he just has trouble with her size...they told their son maybe he could get her to consider the band like I did. I said that a person really has to want to do this for them and not for someone else. I reminded them that their own son was no skinny minnie (harsh but true). I also told them that she seems to accept him as he is and with all of his faults and that he needs to consider how good she is and not just a persons looks. Recently, the girl broke up with him and he acts heart broken and in love now. They all say how awful that she broke their sons heart. I personally think that the girl was smart and has self esteem and could feel his hesitation. I certainly do not wish him heart ache but maybe next time he will be able to see that inner beauty is way more important than anything else! By the way, she was beautiful on the outside too!

[orea15 0]

I hope she finds a man who deserves her. :-)

[Snowgator 3]

In my 2nd year of marriage, my husband (now my ex) who is 6'2 and 300# said he realized he just didn't feel lust for me because of my body size, and that he realized he should have married someone who was more like his first wife (a toothpick) because he can't help that he is just more attracted to thin women. And that was the beginning of the end.

That was over 2 years ago, but it still hurts. JERK!

[orea15 0]

In a year or so, you'll be slender and gorgeous -- and he'll still be a neanderthal a**h*le! Pity the woman who falls for hiim next, for he'll discard her when he tires of her, too. Or when she starts to show some age. Talk about shallow and immature. If there is justice, he'll fall for someone someday and get dumped for a similar shallow reason.

I'm so grateful that my husband of 34 years has truly loved me "through thick and thin". He deserves better than I have been able to give him due to my weight hampering me, but I plan to do better when I can. But he does know that no one will ever love him as much as I do. :-) And that counts for a lot.

Orea

[Snowgator 3]

AMEN sister to that!!! :thumbup:

[Bsides 0]

OMG I so agree with this. I havent been "hated" or treated like crap but women are so jealous - not in younger circles like at uni where everyone is thin and gorgeous but in older circles, sure. Everyone watches what you're eating (in the staffroom at a school I'm currently doing teaching rounds), makes snide remarks about why are YOU dieting and gets defensive and shitty becuase they're eating a huge plateful of something fatty!

I always get into this argument here, but fat prejudice against thin is just as alive and well out there as thin against fat!

You know, that may be true, but by and large society hold a much higher prejudice against fat people. When someone says something spiteful about your diet its one thing, but odds are people will keep their prejudices quiet when it comes to overweight people.

I personally always found it was those quiet sort of indignities that stung the worst. Like someone who wont sit next to you on the bus, or wont look you in the eye. Its just like all they see is a fat person, and not even really a person at all.

As for things that skinny people say, Its really the worst when its someone who says something with genuinely good intentions. I was in an apple store in the bay area and an older guy came up to me and was like "you know, my nephew was just like you. but you know what he did?" and Im like "what?", and he goes, "he just started running every day, and soon, he wasnt even fat anymore!" and he said the last part real loud so all these people in the store turned around to look at me.

I was dumbstruck, like "gee, I hadn't ever thought of that before, thanks guy!" I just walked away without saying anything, but geez sometimes people are so stupid.

[2KpUpwithAvery 0]

My Great-Grandma had cataracts on both eyes & had recently had one eye fixed. At my Aunt's baby shower she proceeded to exclaim, "Jessie! You're fat! (which I have been since age 5)." Then she told one of my Aunts that she had a lot of wrinkles. To which my Aunt replied, "Keep it up old lady & we won't get your other eye fixed!" My family's crazy!! LOL!!

Thats one of the funniest things I've ever read on here!

"We won't fix ur other eye...."

I love it!!

Our families should meet!!

[🅺🅸🅼🅼🅸🅴🅺 296]

My own dad asked my about a month ago..."Don't you see how big you are now? How could you let yourself get that way?" I was never so hurt by something my dad had said to me before. I couldn't even speak to him for a few weeks after that. The sad thing is, he never apologized for saying that stuff and I don't think the thought ever entered his mind to do so.... I'm the only overweight person in my family. Everyone else is skin and bones. How could they understand?

[Cerrin 3]

Yeah it is those "helpful" sugestions that kinda piss me off.

I had a guy at the gym tell me "I used to be a fat as you too then I gave up all bread. And I lost a bunch of weight"

Wow Ya think I am not trying I am in the gym more then you dumb ass.

Grrr stupid prople really chap my hide. grrr

[just1more 0]

This wasnt directed at me but to my SIL. She had the band done in May 07 and had lost about 70# by Christmas time. We were with the family when my husbands Aunt came in. First thing she notices is Barbara's weight loss. She went on and on about how great she looks then she holds her arms out to her sides, blows her cheeks up and says, "You know, you use to look like a swellen tick, Barbara. You know what I mean, like one full of blood!" Barbara's jaw hit the floor. And quite frankly neither one of us knew what to say. We were speachless.

The hard part for me is, I wonder what she is going to think about me. Barbara and I were about the same size before we both had the band. What the hell is she going to call me? "Big fat tick!" Thats pretty bad. What else is out there that she can compare me to.

Tina

[JamieNP 20]

I had 3 brothers...and I always heard.."fatty fatty two-by-four, couldn't fit through the bathroom door", and "Big Bad Bubble Butt Bertha"

[neverB4 2]

Geeze, it will never stop then, huh? We got the comments before banding, now we'll get them after. Oh well, let them all live in their own misery!!

You know what's hurting ,or bothering me I should say, is that neither one of my sisters really said how they felt about my surgery. Now one is kind of oblivious and is true at heart, but I at least thought they would inquire to me more on how my progress is. By being as quiet as they are about it, seems to be telling me they really don't approve of my decision. Guess time will tell. I know they love me to death, and me them. Perhaps we're just too busy with our own lives. Just buggin' me lately!

[neverB4 2]

Oh, and the part of it still going on....just erks me how all my skinny "friends" ARE taking time to talk to me more...while looking me in my face. Wow, you think this is why my psych therapist wants to see me once in a while? She warned me but I thought, "oh no, not me...they won't do that to me" because I THOUGHT they didn't do that already!! At least one thing's true. After losing weight, you get more attention!