Things People Pass Off For Compliments and Things Skinny People Say That Piss You Off

[2008er 0]

I'll start with the one that came to mind while I was reading what you all have shared here. My mortification comes not just from what this ex-BF said, but how I reacted to it at the time...I'm completely without-a-doubt absolutely sure that dating this guy helped kick me into years of eating disorders...

When I was in 9th grade I was an exchange student and gained a bunch of weight. I'm 5'8", but had always been on the thinner (but busty) side (man, if only I could have appreciated that at the time!!), but by the time I came home from my year away I weighed 174 (my mother was mortified, as she was getting married a couple days after my return and had to have my bridemaid dress let out). I dieted and exercised down to 132. I looked FANTASTIC.

I had a BF who was super-skinny. One day he was "complimenting" me on my hard body, and said, "I want you to lose just 3 more pounds - I want to be able to tell people my GF weighs less than 130." UN-FREAKIN'-BELIEVABLE. He just wanted something to brag about. What-ever.

But what's worse? My reaction. I AGREEED to it, and worked my b*tt off to try and accomplish it. When I just couldn't (132 was as low as I was gonna go , I was completely devastated and cried and cried for weeks - months maybe. I then proceeded to yo-yo between 132-150 for a few years, then 185-230. Gawd. It SO sucks what we let people do to us mentally. I finally broke up with him, but not for another year.

Just one of those MANY times I wish I could time travel and tell my younger self how to respond to someone!!!!

~kat

[OH Juli 15]

Wow NY,

That's a sucky ass BF.

Here's to healing!

[Kat817 19]

I have to tell my story, though I really am not proud of it now!!!

I was in the hospital with my husband having heart surgery, and was extremely stressed out...when I walked by this woman and her son who was about 5-6 years old, he was crawling on the floor, under the chairs, and had chips scattered out of the bag, and Rollo candies, stacked on the bare floor---really gross! Anyway he points at me and tells his mom "She's fat!" Mom is ignoring him, and texting away, and just says "yep"----I walked on a few steps as I digested it, then I turned around and walked over to him and told him "Yes you're right I AM fat, and your Mama is LAZY or she would be teaching you better manners!" Then I turned and went on my way---she barely looked up from her phone to acknowledge I said anything.

I KNOW it made no difference in their lives, other than to think not only was I fat I was also a bitch!!! BUT it made me feel much better than just walking away was!!

Kat

[Mrs Husker 3]

While I was growing up, my family was normal size, except me. I was always a little overweight. In the last 6 months my younger sister has been fighting depression and gained a lot of weight. She is now over 220 lbs. Last month she calls me crying on the phone saying "I’m not supposed to be the fat one!" I replied "Like I am", she had the balls to say "You should be used to it". I just wanted to slap her.

When my daughter (now, 12 years old, 5' 2", 95lbs) was 3, she decided to get in the shower with me. I had my back to her when she got in. She started laughing, I asked what was so funny, she said "Mommy has a big butt". Out of the mouths of babes.

[Gone4Now 4]

I have to tell my story, though I really am not proud of it now!!!

I was in the hospital with my husband having heart surgery, and was extremely stressed out...when I walked by this woman and her son who was about 5-6 years old, he was crawling on the floor, under the chairs, and had chips scattered out of the bag, and Rollo candies, stacked on the bare floor---really gross! Anyway he points at me and tells his mom "She's fat!" Mom is ignoring him, and texting away, and just says "yep"----I walked on a few steps as I digested it, then I turned around and walked over to him and told him "Yes you're right I AM fat, and your Mama is LAZY or she would be teaching you better manners!" Then I turned and went on my way---she barely looked up from her phone to acknowledge I said anything.

I KNOW it made no difference in their lives, other than to think not only was I fat I was also a bitch!!! BUT it made me feel much better than just walking away was!!

Kat

LOL - I LOVE THAT! I think kids will say stuff like that and most are not trying to be mean. It's the ADULTS that suck. That mother was lazy for several reasons, and by the description of the kids' behavior and what he was eating, he may one day be fat, too.

[bandster_1007 1]

i haven't encountered many insults, but i do not take a lot of them personally. for example i've heard a lot that i have a pretty face, and there is no way that i am morbidly obese, and that i do not need to lose enough weight to have surgery, etc. etc.

i do have a few moments that have stuck out in my mind though:

one-when my dh and i were discussing this procedure, he mentioned to me that he is a jealous person and he is worried about how he will react after i lose weight. ok, i must defend him because he is very supportive of this whole process and he is willing to pay for it and thinks it is very good for us, most importantly me. however, he is worried about it affecting our relationship as he has heard that it does when people have a dramatic change (ps, boobs, etc). BUT, when he said this, i was like..."ok, i understand that position ...(went on about how it should be a compliment)..then i laughed and said, "you know i should be seriously offended that you do not see a reason to be jealous now, and that you do think guys give me attention."..of course he went on to tell me that he is jealous now, it just doesn't happen as often as he is afraid it will.....silly men.

two: my son is always talking about things that he can invent or start (he is 6), one day about a year ago he was talking about starting an exercising club called "Super Hero Karate Trampoline Club". I laughed and said that sounded like a good club. He said, "yeah, but only dad can be in it." (my son has never said anything about my weight..), of course, after many questions trying to find out why, he said, "ok, mom, you can be in it, but you will have to exercise a whole lot first, but only people that exercise and a small can be in the club"......it was then that i realized that my son actually notices my weight.

third:

this one still plays in my head. my son was 6 months old and i had lost almost all of my baby weight. i'm 5'2", pretty thick with wide hips, etc, had a small waist and big boobs (breast feeding ). i was a bridesmaid for my sister. her fiancee had a twin sister who was tiny. i mean 4'10" 90 lbs. would be pushing it, she was sooo small. well, we are all posing for the wedding pictures and the photographer makes the groomsmen get on their knees and has the bridesmaid's sit on their knee. the skinny twin sister laughed obnoxiously and said in a loud voice, "damn, i feel sorry for (groomsmen) she is going to break his leg") no one laughed, and no one responded. the groomsmen looked more embarrased than i was at the time. he assured me later that he did not feel this way and thought i was very attractive. needless to say, that one hurt...i didn't even feel fat. i thought i looked wonderful for having a baby and people told me that all of the time. they couldn't even tell i had one, and then.................SLAP ...in the face.

[Bouncy Girl 0]

My DH recently said who knows when you hit 150 I'll probably want to bang you all the time. Gee, I- can- hardly- wait! Why am I settling for this chump?

[ShannonRT 1]

My DH recently said who knows when you hit 150 I'll probably want to bang you all the time. Gee, I- can- hardly- wait! Why am I settling for this chump?

Wow...how romantic

[jelbel 0]

I will be banded soon and I'll ecstatic to break that horrible 200.

I seem to make people nervous when I loose weight, because they say the same story about my pretty face. My whole family feels like they are having the lap band. I will cetainly walk and drink Water.< /p>

[jelbel 0]

I think we have the same body shape. I am 5.1" pear shaped body. I do weigh 241 right now, I'll be banded soon.

Sometimes very thin people make comments like that,even if you weigh 140lbs.

[bandster_1007 1]

My DH recently said who knows when you hit 150 I'll probably want to bang you all the time. Gee, I- can- hardly- wait! Why am I settling for this chump?

That is funny to me, i have been telling my husband that he will probably want to bang me all the time. i mean, we have a very active sex life right now, but i'm sure that maneuverability will improve, and I excited about the opportunities that will arise. I think i've scared him a little bit telling him all the things i want to do with him when i am "skinny" . he says i am a freak now.

jelbel,

i'm not sure if you were talking to me about the same body shape, but it does sound like we are shaped very similar. i like having a larger butt, but i would by happy if my thighs would trim up more. even at my smallest weight, i have always had "thunder thighs" although they used to be quite muscular.

[gingerbug 3]

Well, its not a comment from a skinny person but Iwent home to visit my family after not seeing them in about a year. I had lost a few pounds working out in the gym and was down a whole size. Well, my family will never comment when you loose (theyare heavy themselves) but they take any moment to comment on my size. She told me it looked like I had gained weight since she lasst saw me. I was like, "are you freaking kiddingme? The last time you saw me I was 8 months pregnant!!!" I think she did notice I lost and she struggles with ehr weight anddid not want me feeling good about it. I only told a couplepeople about getting the lapband, I haveno intention on telling them at all. I would love to see them try to tell me I gained weight when I get to my goal!!! LOL They can try to put me down all they want, I will be laughing my way all the way to the store where i get to buy my size 10 jeans!!

[gingerbug 3]

That is funny to me, i have been telling my husband that he will probably want to bang me all the time. i mean, we have a very active sex life right now, but i'm sure that maneuverability will improve, and I excited about the opportunities that will arise. I think i've scared him a little bit telling him all the things i want to do with him when i am "skinny" . he says i am a freak now.

jelbel,

i'm not sure if you were talking to me about the same body shape, but it does sound like we are shaped very similar. i like having a larger butt, but i would by happy if my thighs would trim up more. even at my smallest weight, i have always had "thunder thighs" although they used to be quite muscular.

LOL, I am always suprised that my husband is still as inot sex with me the weight I am right now. I did tell him I would buy a naughty dominatrix outfit for him when I hit my goal and his eyes got real wide!! Good times!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

That is funny to me, i have been telling my husband that he will probably want to bang me all the time. i mean, we have a very active sex life right now, but i'm sure that maneuverability will improve, and I excited about the opportunities that will arise. I think i've scared him a little bit telling him all the things i want to do with him when i am "skinny" . he says i am a freak now.

jelbel,

i'm not sure if you were talking to me about the same body shape, but it does sound like we are shaped very similar. i like having a larger butt, but i would by happy if my thighs would trim up more. even at my smallest weight, i have always had "thunder thighs" although they used to be quite muscular.

Me too. When I read that I just had to laugh!

I can totally relate.

[bandster_1007 1]

<p>

LOL, I am always suprised that my husband is still as inot sex with me the weight I am right now. I did tell him I would buy a naughty dominatrix outfit for him when I hit my goal and his eyes got real wide!! Good times!

</p> <p></p> <p> </p> <p>i hadn't thought of the dominatrix thing, but that is COOL!! i told my dh that i want a swing (because maybe it will actually be able to hold me)..he was ok with that, but then when i was mentioning that i may wear skirts out more often and some of the things we could do...he was lick...WHAT?????....oh well, that's why they call them fantasies...right...</p>