I have failed my band - SUPPORT GROUP

[lynnae5412 0]

Hi , everyone...this is my first time posting. I was banded May 2012 and at my last Dr apt my surgeon suggested removing the band and replacing it with the sleeve. I have lost very minimally and am struggling to explain why. I guess my greatest obstacle is that my band fluctuates so much . Some days or times in the day it is much tighter, or looser than others so I havnt formed a consistant way of eating....sometimes its tight and I eat very little...when its loose I eat more...so its hard to form a lifestyle change. Sometimes I sit down to a healthy dinner of grilled chicken and veggies and from the first bite Im in trouble ...I cant keep anything down so I give up and then an hour later Im eating chips because Im hungry and I know I cant keep much down... there's so much more I could say...I just dont know how much of this failure is my fault and how much is that the band fluctuates too much on me....I do not want another surgery...I feel like I would somehow mess that up too...Ive actually been thinking I need more help with food addiction than a diet, or surgery...it has little to do with hunger and everything to do with enjoying food. So sad and disappointed in myself ...but hoping I can somehow still work with this band. Maybe I can pay closer attention to when Im tighter/ looser and plan for those times...also wondering if maybe Im a little too tight or just not eating correctly....theres scaresly a meal that goes by that stays down....my surgeon is nice but doesnt have much to say to offer guidance....thanks for listening!!

[elcee 3,341]

I'm not surprised that you are having trouble if you are trying to eat grilled chicken and veggies, grilled chicken is NOT a band friendly food. It is way too dry and gets stuck far too easily.

I suggest that you try a moister way of cooking your chicken and try thigh instead of breast. It is far tastier and far easier to eat. Often the difference between success and failure can be down to some of the choices we make. Grilled chicken sounds like it should be a good choice because preband that is one of the things that we have always been told to eat when dieting but for most it isn't, it causes problems.

[Aussie40 5]

I have lost very minimally and am struggling to explain why. I guess my greatest obstacle is that my band fluctuates so much . Some days or times in the day it is much tighter, or looser than others so I havnt formed a consistant way of eating....sometimes its tight and I eat very little...when its loose I eat more...so its hard to form a lifestyle change. Sometimes I sit down to a healthy dinner of grilled chicken and veggies and from the first bite Im in trouble ...I cant keep anything down so I give up and then an hour later Im eating chips because Im hungry and I know I cant keep much down...

Hi Lynnae

I am really sorry to hear that you are struggling but I think there are some issues that you could consider before you give up on the band and replace it with a sleeve.

Many people (including me) find that the band feels tighter in the mornings and it is harder to get food down then. My surgeon says its is perfectly OK to skip Breakfast altogether. I just drink a skim milk cafe latte (the milk has protein) and then wait until late morning before I try to eat anything.

The band will also feel tighter if you have been getting food stuck and vomiting. I'm guessing that process inflames the area around the band. For me, it can take a day or two to get back to normal after that so I need to be really careful. If you have been vomiting frequently, then you might be permanently inflamed which would have the same effect as having your band too tight. Everybody goes for the crunchy & slider foods when the band is too tight because that is all we can get down & we have to eat something. Please don't be too hard on yourself.

It might even be that you need a big UNfill to give your body a rest and a chance to heal, before you experiment with refilling in very small increments. Then you could find out more about band-friendly foods from this site, so that you can give yourself the best chance of avoiding any more vomiting.

I really hope things get better for you soon.

[lynnae5412 0]

Thanks alot...very helpful. This makes perfect sense.

[HilaryInRC 116]

Hello fellow bandsters,

I have not done so well this past week. I have been eating too much. For me the night time eating is the worst! After dinner until bed all I want to do is eat! I always want fatty and sugary foods. Sometimes, I will even wake up in the middle of the night and eat. Other times I will wake up in the morning and there will be dishes in bed with me or food wrappers and I ate in my sleep and have no recollection. sleep eating is super frustrating for me. I'm not sure why it happens. But, my mom says my grandpa also sleepwalks and eats in his sleep too. But, the few bites I take in the middle of the night isn't my biggest problem. It is the food I consciously put in my mouth that can be the problem.

So, today is the start of a new week for me on Weight Watchers (because today is a weigh in day for me). Unfortunately, I had to miss my meeting today because of work, but I plan to go to the Saturday morning meeting. I have not gained, but I haven't lost either since the 9th. I am going to do better this week!

I think it is interesting how sometimes I am really good at not eating and just being hungry all the time and dealing with it. All of the times I have lost weight, I just wasn't really eating much and I remember being sooooo hungry for just months on end. It is hard for me to talk myself into doing that again. I hope that if I get to the proper spot with fills that I will be able to not eat much and not be starving all the time too (and not throwing up...too much to ask for?). To me, feeling hungry is the worst. I've been reading the Beck Diet Solution and Dr. Beck says that we need to teach ourselves that hunger isn't an emergency. Well, I'm sorry Dr. Beck. Maybe hunger doesn't feel like an emergency to you, but it makes me down right panicky. I get confused and I can't focus and sometimes my blood sugar crashes out and I get shakey and light headed (although that doesn't happen very often).

So, here are a few questions for you:

1) When you are losing, do you feel hungry all the time?

2) Does your hunger feel manageable?

3) What are your thoughts on dessert? I want it every night, but I feel like I need to break that habit. Should I have fruit instead or just go cold turkey?

-Hilary

[HilaryInRC 116]

I'm not surprised that you are having trouble if you are trying to eat grilled chicken and veggies, grilled chicken is NOT a band friendly food. It is way too dry and gets stuck far too easily.

I suggest that you try a moister way of cooking your chicken and try thigh instead of breast. It is far tastier and far easier to eat. Often the difference between success and failure can be down to some of the choices we make. Grilled chicken sounds like it should be a good choice because preband that is one of the things that we have always been told to eat when dieting but for most it isn't, it causes problems.

Elcee,

Right now I can eat just about anything I want. But, I'm going in for a fill next week and I want to be made much tighter. Can you please tell me, what foods are hard on the band and should be avoided? Are there any go-to foods that you have very frequently?

-Hilary

[Aussie40 5]

So, here are a few questions for you:

1) When you are losing, do you feel hungry all the time?

2) Does your hunger feel manageable?

3) What are your thoughts on dessert? I want it every night, but I feel like I need to break that habit. Should I have fruit instead or just go cold turkey?

-Hilary

When I have my band in the sweet spot, I can lose weight without feeling 'real' hunger all the time. However, the band doesnt help with head hunger. Like you, I'm always looking for something between dinner and bed time - usually something sweet. I have found that lollipops and fruit juice icypoles can often satisfy that urge. They take a while to eat and dont have too many calories.

[susiedreamer 4]

It's been 10 months since my surgery. My goal was to lose 75 lbs. I have lost 25 lbs- all within the first few months. I am at a standstill. Why? It's me. I eat what I want when I want. I drink with my meals and too soon after. I drink wine. I feel like an absolute failure. I haven't gone for a fill in several months because I was afraid to face my doctor. I haven't gone to a support group meeting because I don't want to spoil the meeting for these great people who are enjoying hard-earned success. What's wrong with me? I start out with great intentions every day. Sometimes I am legitimately hungry. Sometimes I am bored. Sometimes I made good food choices and sometimes I eat the juicy burger. I think about all of the times I say "no," make good decisions, show restrain, follow the pouch rules.....and then I think of all the times I don't. I tell myself, "You got frustrated because you weren't seeing fast results." I tell myself, "it's hard." Then I tell myself, "Stop making excuses. You are a pig. You have no self control, no will power, no motivation. You're lazy." Basically I feel like I've tried another fad diet and failed. I cannot accept this. I plan to attend a local support group meeting tomorrow. I scheduled a meeting with my doctor on Wednesday. Does anyone have any other suggestions on ways to stay motivated? No one else in my family or circle of friends struggles with weight. I just do not know what to do to fix me.

[HilaryInRC 116]

It's been 10 months since my surgery. My goal was to lose 75 lbs. I have lost 25 lbs- all within the first few months. I am at a standstill. Why? It's me. I eat what I want when I want. I drink with my meals and too soon after. I drink wine. I feel like an absolute failure. I haven't gone for a fill in several months because I was afraid to face my doctor. I haven't gone to a support group meeting because I don't want to spoil the meeting for these great people who are enjoying hard-earned success. What's wrong with me? I start out with great intentions every day. Sometimes I am legitimately hungry. Sometimes I am bored. Sometimes I made good food choices and sometimes I eat the juicy burger. I think about all of the times I say "no," make good decisions, show restrain, follow the pouch rules.....and then I think of all the times I don't. I tell myself, "You got frustrated because you weren't seeing fast results." I tell myself, "it's hard." Then I tell myself, "Stop making excuses. You are a pig. You have no self control, no will power, no motivation. You're lazy." Basically I feel like I've tried another fad diet and failed. I cannot accept this. I plan to attend a local support group meeting tomorrow. I scheduled a meeting with my doctor on Wednesday. Does anyone have any other suggestions on ways to stay motivated? No one else in my family or circle of friends struggles with weight. I just do not know what to do to fix me.

Hi Susie,

First, you are not alone. As you can see from this forum, there are many bansters that struggle with losing weight, even with the band.

Second, your surgeon and his staff are there to help you be successful and sometimes for a bit of tough love. Their job is not to make you feel guilty or bad in any way. If you go see your surgeon and leave feeling worse rather than uplifted, it is time to look for a new doctor. Also, you might need a fill...they say if you are plateaued for any substantial period of time that you should get a fill.

As for the support group, they are there for support. It isn't supposed to be a club of people who meet up to pat themselves on the back for all of their perfection.

Third, the lap band is a journey. It isn't like you wake up the day after surgery and all of a sudden all of your habits have magically changed over night! At first, it is easy to follow the rules because you are running on the momentum of excitement. After a few months, it gets harder because the newness has worn off and you really get to the committment part of your relationship with the band. You are going to have this band for a long time. You have time to work on your habits. Heck, I've had my band for almost 5 years and I'm still trying to conquer my bad habit of nightime bingeing. Although, I haven't been the most successful bandster ever... So, my point is that you have plenty of time, but also, the sooner you start working on those bad habits, the better.

Fourth, I got a little teary eyed when I read about your self talk. Please, please, please don't call yourself a lazy pig. You aren't! This is hard! I really think you need to work on your self talk. Think about getting "The Beck Diet Solution." Doctor Beck is really big on correcting negative and ineffective self talk.

Fifth, I am SO proud of you for making the committment to go back to the support group meeting and see your surgeon. You go girl! Be proud. That was a hard thing to do, but you had the courage to do it. Give yourself credit for this psychological victory!

Sixth, my favorite resource, other than lapbandtalk is youtube. I know, who knew there was an active community of bansters on youtube!?! Try viewing one video a day of one of the successful bandsters on there. I love BandedWendy. But, there are plenty more on ProofWLSworks on youtube.

Seventh, one thing that makes me feel good about myself is going for a walk. When I get outside into nature and get a 30 minute walk, it makes me feel proud of myself. I think, hey, I did it! It shouldn't be too challenging because it is just walking. And, you might even get a little endorphin kick out of it.

Please let me know how it goes this week.

Hugs, Hilary

[susiedreamer 4]

Thank you Hilary!

[Subie66 6]

I went to have my first fill since my EGD and the doc gave me about 3/4 cc. I did not feel restriction- and he told me to call him in 2 weeks to let him know how I was doing. I have lost 4 pounds in two days- mostly from upping my Protein and cutting back on carbs. He made me feel like I can do this if I try. Keeping my fingers crossed! I started to go to they gym this week and have been tracking in MFP.

[morelgirl 177]

I was very happy to find this thread, even though I have mixed feeling about the title. I was banded on 2/1/2012 in a remarkably easy procedure. My recovery flew by and I started the fill procedure exactly 4 weeks after my surgery. Over the course of eight months, I had a total of five fills that brought my level to 8.0cc in an 11cc band. I never reached noticeable restriction, let alone the green zone opr my sweet spot.

I thought I knew that bandster hell lasted from the day of surgery top the first it e restriction was achieved, and I thought I was prepared for that. Wow, was I wrong. I couldn't understand how I could possibly be only 3cc from the stated capacity of my band and not feel a single thing even close to restriction. In fact, I felt not different than I had before the and went in. If I hadn't had the receipts on file (I was self pay), I would have thought I'd hallucinated the entire experience. After than that fill in August 2012, I went off the rails. Frustration overwhelmed me, and combined with a financial pinch that made further appointments with my surgeon impossible for several months, I gave up. So in that sense, I failed my band.

But I can also honestly say that my band hadn't done much to help me succeed. I know that if I had been able to continue with my appointments, I would have eventually reached restriction before now, so it does all end up as my responsibility.

I either case, shortly after the new year, I received a notice that my surgeon had left the practice he'd been with when my band was implanted and that I would need to transfer my care to one of his colleagues. Having sorted out the money situation, I felt the first stirring of hope in a long while, and I made an appointment to see the other doctor.

It was the best thing that could possibly have happened. I adore my new doctor. She totally understood my feelings without letting me deny my responsibility for my own actions, which had resulting in my regaining half of the weight I had lost since beginning my surgery prep. She also understood that there's no way for the band to work effectively until I have achieved restriction, so she proposed a plan of aggressive follow up, gave me a full 1cc fill, and scheduled an additional appointment for me two weeks from the day with a promise of further fills until I achieve restriction and am able to get my band journey moving along,

All that gave me hope, but finding this forum has given me so much comfort. Knowing I'm not alone in not having a smooth path from day 1 is so comforting. Knowing I'm not the only one who hasn't lost 50 lbs or more in the first year after banding has totally made my day. I admire every me on this thread for having the courage to share, and I thank you for letting me share as well. You rock!

[ChocolateChips 2]

I can relate a lot with everyone else in this forum ... I was banded in 2/2012... Lost 40 pounds and gained back 30 (230 lbs currently). I have had three fills. I failed my band. I love food. I love wine. I hate the gym. I stopped going to the doctor because I am so embarrassed that I have been gaining it all back. I honestly starred down a piece of chocolate cake last night, and said to myself... You are slowly killing yourself... And then ate it anyway. I know I have some issues to work out. I have just moved out of state and I planned to look for a new doctor soon, hopefully I can find my way- and a support group (I have never attended). I just wanted to post to thank everyone else whom has posted, it is such a relief to know that I am not alone. Thank you and best of luck to us all !!!!

[HilaryInRC 116]

I was very happy to find this thread, even though I have mixed feeling about the title. I was banded on 2/1/2012 in a remarkably easy procedure. My recovery flew by and I started the fill procedure exactly 4 weeks after my surgery. Over the course of eight months, I had a total of five fills that brought my level to 8.0cc in an 11cc band. I never reached noticeable restriction, let alone the green zone opr my sweet spot.

I thought I knew that bandster hell lasted from the day of surgery top the first it e restriction was achieved, and I thought I was prepared for that. Wow, was I wrong. I couldn't understand how I could possibly be only 3cc from the stated capacity of my band and not feel a single thing even close to restriction. In fact, I felt not different than I had before the and went in. If I hadn't had the receipts on file (I was self pay), I would have thought I'd hallucinated the entire experience. After than that fill in August 2012, I went off the rails. Frustration overwhelmed me, and combined with a financial pinch that made further appointments with my surgeon impossible for several months, I gave up. So in that sense, I failed my band.

But I can also honestly say that my band hadn't done much to help me succeed. I know that if I had been able to continue with my appointments, I would have eventually reached restriction before now, so it does all end up as my responsibility.

I either case, shortly after the new year, I received a notice that my surgeon had left the practice he'd been with when my band was implanted and that I would need to transfer my care to one of his colleagues. Having sorted out the money situation, I felt the first stirring of hope in a long while, and I made an appointment to see the other doctor.

It was the best thing that could possibly have happened. I adore my new doctor. She totally understood my feelings without letting me deny my responsibility for my own actions, which had resulting in my regaining half of the weight I had lost since beginning my surgery prep. She also understood that there's no way for the band to work effectively until I have achieved restriction, so she proposed a plan of aggressive follow up, gave me a full 1cc fill, and scheduled an additional appointment for me two weeks from the day with a promise of further fills until I achieve restriction and am able to get my band journey moving along,

All that gave me hope, but finding this forum has given me so much comfort. Knowing I'm not alone in not having a smooth path from day 1 is so comforting. Knowing I'm not the only one who hasn't lost 50 lbs or more in the first year after banding has totally made my day. I admire every me on this thread for having the courage to share, and I thank you for letting me share as well. You rock!

Amy, do you ever consider revision to the sleeve because of the lack of restriction with the band? What are your thoughts?

[HilaryInRC 116]

I can relate a lot with everyone else in this forum ... I was banded in 2/2012... Lost 40 pounds and gained back 30 (230 lbs currently). I have had three fills. I failed my band. I love food. I love wine. I hate the gym. I stopped going to the doctor because I am so embarrassed that I have been gaining it all back. I honestly starred down a piece of chocolate cake last night, and said to myself... You are slowly killing yourself... And then ate it anyway. I know I have some issues to work out. I have just moved out of state and I planned to look for a new doctor soon, hopefully I can find my way- and a support group (I have never attended). I just wanted to post to thank everyone else whom has posted, it is such a relief to know that I am not alone. Thank you and best of luck to us all !!!!

I can definitely relate to what you are saying. Before a binge I can hear this voice inside my head telling me this is the source of all of my problems, but for some reason I don't listen to it, I push it away, and eat anyway. And, I'll pause while eating something I shouldn't and think, all you have to do is stop, throw this in the garbage, and drink a glass of Water. I'll consider it for a second and then ignore the thought! It is like I have some sort of food compulsion! The only thing I have found to take away this behavior is prescription diet pills (phentermine), which kills my desire for food. I wish I could feel that way naturally. You are not alone!

Out of curiousity, do you have a sleep disorder (like sleep apnea)? My doc recently told me that if I start wearing my CPAP, these cravings (or whatever you want to call them) will go away. I'm trying to wear it. Just wondering if you have an untreated sleep disorder?

-Hilary