female only Weight loss and self esteem - it should change, right?

[anniedub 0]

Hi there ladies,

Something that has been bugging me for a while. When I was morbidly obese, I had shitty self esteem. I thought that I was absolutely worthless, no-one would ever love me, I looked fat and horrible and ugly. Everything that comes along with low self esteem.

Anyway, I am almost at goal weight now -- so why don't I feel any better? I thought that losing weight would help me feel better about myself and how I looked, but I still feel exactly the same as I did when I was 60 lbs heavier.

I don't know whether I've just had a shitty night and so I'm down in the dumps because of that, or what. I went out with some friends tonight, I was feeling like I looked good (for the first time in a long time), but then EVERY ONE of my girlfriends got hit on tonight except me. I was trying to flirt with this one guy (I'm not very good at flirting) and one of my girlfriends just comes in, bats her eyelids a little and he's making out with her in 30 seconds flat. So I come home and I just keep feeling like shit.

It wasn't meant to happen this way! I was meant to lose weight and feel better about myself! What should I do??

Sorry, this has turned into a bit of a rant.

[MrsFlipFlops 2]

annie- I SO know where you're coming from. I posted something similar a couple weeks ago. I thought all the weight was the cause of my problems and when it didn't improve like I felt it should, I realized (well, someone here helped me realize) that the weight perhaps wasn't the CAUSE, but the SYMPTOM. I found that without food to quiet my inner self, I have a lot of issues I need to work out. So... I started going to lapband support groups and I'm looking into going to a counselor. I don't think I have an abnormal amount of issues, just ones that I have suppressed and never coped with because my coping mechanism was always food.< /p>

So my suggestion? Maybe talking to someone will help.

I'm sorry you had a bad night... guys are fickle anyway.

Good luck!

[HeatherO 7]

Weight can affect self-esteem . . . but so can a lot of other things. You are still young and have just gone through some very big physical transformations . . . it takes a little time to adjust.

Also, at 22 many of us are not quite sure who we are as a person, regardless of our weight.

You should do some things for yourself that make you feel your best. Maybe a manicure, new hair cut/style/color, change in wardrobe, etc. If you focus on building yourself up as a person, the esteem comes naturally.

[Jachut 487]

Give it a bit of time too. I find myself adjusting to the new me even 18 months after hitting goal. For a long while, I knew I looked better but I was still the old me in my head.

[ashabama 1]

well apparently...I can not sympthize with you...even at my biggest I was full of self confidence. Because my body is changing and I have weird skin I call it...I am a little self conscious but I know that that will be fixed soon :cursing: what I am trying to say is feel comfortable in your own skin...no one loves or should love you more than you!!! Don't ever call yourself fat....dont' ever feel worthless cause trust me there are so many people out there who appreciate you whether you realize it or not!!! :thumbup:

[cookienay 0]

Annie- weight has so little to do with self esteem, really it does. Either you think you are worth it or you don't. Do you really want to be the girl that makes out with some guy you have only known for less than a minute? Do you really want a guy like that interested in you? You deserve to be thin and healthy. You deserve a guy who will want you for you- not just some simpleton who responds to batting eyelashes. Any man can do that! Decide the kind of woman you want to be and surround yourself with women who have healthy self esteems. Not narcissistic mind you, but healthy. I'm not flaming on you- just trying to give you some encouragement

Congrats on your weight loss and best wishes to you!!