HELP burned out already !

[Sooverit! 1]

geez....I 'm scheduled for on DEC 2. lap band surgery. I have NeVEr in my life seen more doctors and had more tests in all my life (I've been lucky). The more tests I have the more they supposedly "find" something that they can send you for another test. I litreally hit my sress meter this morning. I spend all day at the hospital yesterday in Westchester/Bronxville for PRE OP testing for the BAND and being tested for everything under the sun by nasty sad people who have chips on their shoulders - they should be grateful they have a job!!!, and filling out a zillion forms. I had to be there at 9:00 but got there a few hours late so that started them off good. Got home just in time for dd from school. Then this morning had to go for a 3 hour nuclear stress at 8:30 a.m. on a treadmill and they would test my heart. It took me a few hours to firgure this out but while I was in the waiting room i started crying ...I mean crying like waterfall so embarrassing could not stop! Thank God a nice nurse asked me if I wanted tissues and what was wrong I told her both my parents recently passed away. She was nice and I ended up rescheduling the appt. for next week. I realize that I was thinking about my sister who died of a heart attach 3 yrs ago and all that. I got home still crying and thinking I don't want the band if this is what it takes. people are treaded like cattle in this healthy care system. Pls promise me we will get Dr. Kavorkian's number so we can have it when we get feeble...if we do!!!

[bandtastic5 0]

go back and get it done... your sister would be soooo proud of you!!!! heck- do it in honor of your sister.

if you can feel that you can share (when you go back.. i know you will!!) that you are especially sensitive about the stress test, etc..... they might even show some compassion!!! don't give up!!

[Sooverit! 1]

Dear Jack: Thank you for checking in on us...So glad to see your message ...your posts always gave me a smile:=)

Yesterday was just a hit the wall day. I'd seen every doc under the sun 4 weeks straight and I'm not a doctor going person. The system looks okay so far except for slight heart thing but no one's perfect!` Today I feel like a new person...every thing's just falling into place, CDs from bank got wired and what's left is ready to vanish.

I did, however, gain a new perspective in these past weeks on aging, sickness and dying all that fun stuff we sweep into the recesses. I smile and go out of my way for every elderly person I see...whether they look at me oddly or not...usually I receive a warm appreciative smile back and I know the saying aging ain't for wimps is a great truth .

[Sooverit! 1]

Oh Bandtastic, you are so insightful..my sister would be proud of me! I have been thinking just lately that I will do this in honor of her. Things have been falling into place like magic lately. I actually found money that I didn't know I had...not that I have any to lose ...but I did...it was in a bank from years ago! I am just letting go now and letting this event unfold. You are so good to read all my rambling.

Blessing to you,

Marg

[Sooverit! 1]

PS>> Love your name Band!

[JoannMarie 0]

Marg, did you say you were in a low BMI study? The latter part of my career (retired now) I worked for a major pharma company, and later for a contract research company in clinical research. I worked on the administrative side, doing fun stuff like making sure all the FDA requirements were met, finding investigators for clinical studies, patient recruitment, informed consent documents, etc. Clinical studies are very controlled by regulation and scientific protocol - that may be why you have been subjected to so many tests. With the family history (your sister) of heart problems and your own medical history, they want to be sure you are a good candidate. But more to the point - a clinical research protocol is set up with certain tests required, and that may be affecting your situation. This protocol probably has a lot of tests required so the results of the study will be valid over time.

You sound so much better in your last posts. I hope you are able to put all the yucky stuff to the side where it belongs and realize what a great thing you are doing for yourself. That is the first step toward doing great things for others, too. Make a positive commitment to YOU and your health. Everything else will follow and the doors will continue to open for you.

I'm 66 this year - and after the last 2 years of AGING much more rapidly than I ever dreamed I would, I've made that commitment, too. We all get old and it's not easy under any circumstances, but it can be made better at any point along the way by making the commitment to a healthier lifestyle. You are doing that, and you are going to be successful!

[Sooverit! 1]

Thank you so much Joanne...for caring! I can see now that of course I will have more test as it is a controlled study and that's why I am being put through the mill. You are right I am much better than that day. My eyes are still swollen though as I haven't cried like that in years! I feel like I let go of something that was "stuck" in my body..called grief I guess. I viscerally feel like I am different after that cry...in public no less!

So Joanne you are two days after me! I will drag myself to the computer and report everything to you! I think this is a wonderful step for both of us toward a healthier life.

Blessings to you Joanne,

marg.

[JoannMarie 0]

Oh Marg - you are going to do so well. Look at your track record - you have not taken "no" for an answer, no matter what the obstacle was. At this point you are a steamroller that cannot be stopped!

You are right about the "good cry." That day was a trigger for you to get rid of all the stress of insurance denials, loss of your sister and your parents and everything else that was piling up on you. As women we tend to stuff that grief inside in order to comfort everyone else. Along with the grief we stuff food, too, unfortunately. I am not telling you anything you don't already know - WE ALL do it. Maybe the act of taking this major step in your life helped you to release all that stress and grief through your tears. Timing and location might not have been the best but we don't always have the choice of time and place.

I'm so glad everything is working out for you now. Maybe rumors about a hysterical woman got back to the powers-that-be and they decided to behave better! You will be in my prayers for your surgery and recovery.

[Sooverit! 1]

Dearest Joanne: You will be in my prayers and thoughts as well. I thought about you today actually ..(even when I was not on the computer!). The words sexy sixties came into my mind. I am currently helping out with make up in a community play my daughter has a role in. What a blast ..you should have seen all the sixty, seventy and eighty! year old going to auditions every night and having a blast. There is some much life and love to yet to give. I wish you all the love and health you deserve in this life !

Marg

One week to go... gulp!........

[Sooverit! 1]

Thank you again Joanne ...for being so kind and caring. I really did "stuff" all that grief ..especially since I didn't want my daughter to see my "fall apart". You are a love and I appreciate your understanding and compassion more than you will know.

God Bless,

Marg

[JoannMarie 0]

Marg,

Thank you for your kind words. (I especially liked the part about sexy sixties!!) I am glad you are feeling better and things are working out better for you. We all need support on this journey - that's why we come here. I know you will be holding my hand many times before we reach our goals - and after. I am just glad to have friends to share the journey with.

God bless you,