Why does no one understand?!?!?!

[Unsure15 0]

I've discussed this with my parents, and they just DON'T GET IT!!! I'm so frustrated... and feel like now I have to do it behind there backs (which I don't like)!!!

Haven't most people found success with the lap band? Why do people think this is SUCH a big deal?

I'm so frustrated

[Jachut 487]

It makes you want to bash your head against a brick wall doesnt it?

My mother particularly still just doesnt get it. She thinks she's done Weight Watchers about 100 times and always lost weight therefore it works and then she gets the shits with me when I point out that if it worked she would only have done it ONCE! Mind you, she's never had to lose more than about 20lb.

She likes to say to me now "well, surely you ge the Fluid out becuase you've learned all new habits, why are you still getting fills?". Being a basically thin person she just plain cannot understand that the urge to eat, the excessive appetite will NEVER go away. Something is broken in me and I needed a band to fix it.

She seemed to almost grasp it when she was worrying about me having the op when I said that nobody would question me if I had surgery to fix my ankle, nobody would even question me if I had a boob job! What was so different about this - ALL I was doing was having surgery to fix something wrong with my body, somethign that could be deadly and certainly affected my quality of life. She understood that but she cant seem to follow through that for a lot of people obesity is not a choice.

They just dont realise that yes, you can diet and withold food too just like they can but that its harder for you than it is for the next person, or that you just cant do it for the rest of your life without help.

I've given up trying to explain why I"m not now "fixed' now that I'm thin. I just know what I did was right for me and I'm happy with my choices and nobody is actually giving me a hard time, they just dont truly understand.

This if for you, its you that has to be comfortable and really, what others think isnt that important.

[Mrsace13 0]

I haven't even told my mom, I just dont feel like hearing neg remarks from people that have not even researched it and I love the "you can do it without that" remark since that has really worked for me so far and then you hear how dangerous it is, well, I have looked into this for almost a year now, I haven't seen this danger thing they are talking about and they do not have any stories to back up the remark.

My mom is going to be more mad at me for not telling her from the start, I just know I can't win no matter what. But I will win at my weight loss and that is all that matters.

And you are right, if I was saying boob job they wouldnt say anything. I think not too many people know about LapBand, I just learned about it a year ago. They think it is new.

[Unsure15 0]

It is like hitting my head against a brick wall! So frustrating. I might have not told my mom if I lived in a different City, but I see her so often she would notice the difference in my fridge/eating in a second...

When she was married at around my age she weight 105 lbs.... I weigh almost THREE times that.. she just doesn't understand the stress/hurt being fat causes a person...

[laurigee 545]

You no longer have to look to your parents for their approval or disapproval. Your an adult, and have to make the choices that are best for you. Of coarse we all want our parents to be accepting. My parents thought I was fine the way I was, until they seen the difference it has made physically and emotionally. You have to start making and sticking with the decisions you make for yourself, your an adult now. They will come to understand, they love you and are just trying to protect you. Good Luck

[terilynn112 1]

My mom and dad are supportive, although both tried to talk me out of it. They've come on board now. It's my siblings that are non-supportive. It went so far with my sister (who has had RNY) that she told me I'd fail, just like she did. Truthfully I've already hit my first and main goal of getting this. I've already lost my diabetes meds. And I'm in so much better control of that. I'm more active and have so much more energy.

I'm gonna say something... I went ahead with the band (obviously), and have NO Regrets. But when you do slip, and eat to much, or the wrong foods, you'll hear their warnings that it won't work. It's all I hear when I close my eyes now, because Friday I slipped. Wrong food choices. Anyway, that said.... I didn't fail. I already won my biggest non-scale victory. And ironically, I went to look at a sore on my toe (i'd kicked something), and I could get my foot up to touch my nose. Silly I know, but before yoga, and my 45 pound weight loss, I would not have been able to do that.

You do what's best for you. I truely believe God gave us a choice to use it.

Teri

[luluc 6]

My mom is going to be more mad at me for not telling her from the start, I just know I can't win no matter what. But I will win at my weight loss and that is all that matters..

i didn't tell my parents till i was 6 months post-op, and i'm very glad i waited. they were very supportive and thought it was great that i got my weight under control (they're very thin people who never had weight issues)...however i didn't really want the watchful eye or comments - especially because i was a slow loser in the beginning. by 6months out you could actually tell i had lost weight, not really beforehand...

it also helped they're a time zone away...

[lapbandtalker 0]

Why does no one understand?

They aren't supposed to, really. If you think about it, it's difficult understanding something that's foreign to you. And WLS is foreign to many, especially the older generation. They just WORKED more and kept off the weight. (that's what I was told many, many...many times)

Hang in and you do this for you....no one else. Have their support - great! If not, keep on going.

[*slim* 2]

My mom wasn't very supportive of the surgery. She tried to talk me out of it. She isn't thin. None of my family is thin. Even now she insists on every conversation to be about food. I told her that unless she had some different conversation, we weren't going to talk as often. She went off saying that I was going to have to deal with food. I told her calmly that though I will deal with food, I won't LIVE for food. She doesn't get it. I don't expect her to get it. Live your life for you. No one else. YOU have to decide what is going to be right for you. Like someone above me said, you no longer have to look to your mom for permission. I understand wanting her support, but without it, you still have support here. It's not perfect, but it is support. I wish you the best!

[abby1 0]

Whether you are talking about LapBand surgery or any other medical procedure, there are people who just will not understand. You just need to accept the fact they will not understand what you are doing on why. You need to learn to live with it and just live your life around them. Include them when you want and avoid them when you can't deal with them.

[Sandy Beach 4]

Hun you are young...still looking for Mom and Dad's approval. Be a big girl and take the leap into adulthood. I wish you good luck. I don't mean to be mean I just wish someone would have help me with the approval thing when I was young. I had my surgery in January and have told only my DH and DD. I was afraid I would fail. Now I don't care who knows.

[BethFromVA 5]

I agree with all the others.

I see you're 22... I know it's hard because you haven't been outside of your parents' grip for too long. However, YOU have to decide for YOU that YOU want this FOR YOU.

Right now only three people know: My best friend, a co-worker who I feel very close to, and my husband, and they were told in that order. I didn't even tell hubby until I had already decided to do this procedure because I wanted NO input from ANYbody to convince OR dissuade me on my decision.

Though my mom in the past has mentioned surgery as an option for me, I brushed it aside because I thought surgery meant only gastric bypass. I really didn't even know about the band. However, if I were to tell her, she could flip her thoughts on the matter (as she has on other issues in the past) and become not a supporter but a dissuader. And it doesn't help that her neighbor/friend is a nurse, and a very nosy, opinionated one at that who herself could probably use a band and revolves her life around food. I KNEW that if I told my mom anything, she'd be getting stories from her neighbor and then wowza.

I don't know yet when I'll tell people. Maybe for some I just won't. Regardless of the band, I STILL have to eat well and right, so I'm not lying by saying I'm making better food choices. I'll cross those bridges when I get to them.

But for now, dear one, tune her out. And if you can't do that, politely hang up the phone, don't answer the door, and don't go around her, if that's what it takes.

[Unsure15 0]

Thanks everyone!

[Unsure15 0]

I know what I have to do. And I will in late December.

I rather do this while I'm still young so I can experience the rest of my life to it's fullest. Without being stuck in this body!

Do you guys know of any books I could read to help me understand more?

[heartfire 4]

I know what I have to do. And I will in late December.

I rather do this while I'm still young so I can experience the rest of my life to it's fullest. Without being stuck in this body!

Do you guys know of any books I could read to help me understand more?

I bought "Weight Loss Surgery with the Adjustable Gastric Band" by Robert W. Sewell, and Linda Rohrbough. I got it at Barnes & Noble. I really liked it.

I know there are other books but I haven't read any of them.

Best wishes!