May 2008 Slow Losers

[sunshinelady 0]

Hi Everyone,

I haven't posted since December 2008 but I'm back. I have been the same weight since June of last year -205 lbs. I am going to the gym 3-5 days a week and hopefully the weight will come off. I am very happy where I am right now. Although the scale says the same number, the measuring tape is going decreasing. My doctor says that's what matters; I am inclined to believe that as well. I've decided a long time ago that I have done all this work to get my body right, I need to start working on my mind. I found that after working on my mental I could let go of the negative self image that I had of me. I thought I was always so self assured and confident but when losing weight and having people to comment on it and looking at myself in the mirror, I wasn't so confident - I couldn't see me as the person I was becoming. That blew me away because for the first time in my life it became apparent that I may have had some self image problems. But, I am doing well and feel well and will continue to do the work - mind, body and soul. I am still work in progress. I have had happy times in my life but this is truly an honest and genuine happy time for me. So, I wish and pray that everyone will continue their weight loss journeys in a way that the outcome is that of peace and acceptance of oneself in spite of. Thanks for letting me come on here after abandoning this site for a while and do my soap box message. Happy weight loss!!!

[gone 4 ever 6]

Welcome back Sunshine. Sounds like you have your head on straight. That's a good thing.

Image is something I will have to work on. I have never been thin. I don't remember ever being below 195. That was briefly at that weight. For a long time I was at 225. Then the last 6 yrs I have been up and up then down a little then up again to my highest weight 309. The closer I get to 225 the more nervous I get. I know it has to do with the way I perceive myself. So I might ask you for advise.

Good luck on the rest of your journey.

[sunshinelady 0]

Hi gone 4 evr,

Thanks for welcoming me back to the site. Your name says it all for me. Saying goodbye to an old friend at the same time learning your new best friend. There is definitely some conflict with that relationship. I've adopted the AAA/NA motto, "change people, places, and things". My old behavior/thoughts are very difficult to get away from but little by little it's happening - self acceptance. I used to think being skinny was the ugliest look in the world. Now people call me skinny minnie - I don't think I liked that very much in the beginning. I thougt, due to my culture, that big was beatiful; I still do but big unfortunately "big" would have eventually killed me. So I'd rather redefine beauty as healthy as opposed to being "big" and unhealthy. I think that working on your image is just as important as working on your eating habits or exercise regiment. The purpose of wls is to become healthy - you must work on ALL components that make you - mind, body and soul. Good Luck and thanks again.

[BayCityBandster 1]

OMG! I am weeping hysterically, so very relieved and grateful to have found you all.

I had my surgery on May 23 and am not even down 30 lbs. (my ticker includes weight loss from my high of 335 pre-surgery).

I have a handful of legit reasons for being a slow loser(PCOS, diabetes, metabolic syndrome, hypo-thyroid) and I have a million pathetic excuses (compulsive eating, night eating, rarely exercise), but I am ready to take it to the next level. I have not come to this board in months and to this May board in much longer because I couldn't take the constant reminders of my "failure." But I am done wallowing in it, and plan to renew my efforts.

I plan to come here daily and just wanted to thank you all for being here.

[mzreeda 1]

i hearall of you... for me its pretty much as all the above BUT i can honestly say im not the same person MEANING : less meds blood sugars under control, im working out 3-4 times a week the scale barely moving but i've lost 6 dress size, 1- shoe size, and not to far from my goal ( well if the scale moves again) however i would take inches over pounds any day ..good luck to all and god bless..

Sunshine we are all human and this is going to take a while to get use to just start over...take care

[dimpleyvett 0]

I fell some what relived that am not the only one not lossing fast i thought something was wrong with me . am only 30 lbs down sence Aug i don't eat very much and am walking now . but i have loss sizes went from a 24-26 to 18-20 . so am not doning so bad. good luck to everyone and my prayers go out.

Edited April 5, 2009 by dimpleyvett

[ThinDolphin3 3]

I hear ya ladies...I'm stuck at 210 lbs..I dont do the measuring thing..but I do have some new pics of myself in my albums...it's hard for me to see a difference...I still havent bought new clothes for myself yet. My sweats still fit and shirts are lose even though they are 3 x men's tshirts...I still see myself as the huge blob I was and I dont want to waste money on new clothes becuz I KNOW I will get disappointed if I cant fit into the size I want to be.

I'm so glad that everyone hasnt given up yet...I am on the verge of giving up and doing another liquid diet to get the lbs moving downward again.

love and light to all blessings

dolphin

[gone 4 ever 6]

I still havent bought new clothes for myself yet. My sweats still fit and shirts are lose even though they are 3 x men's tshirts...I still see myself as the huge blob I was and I dont want to waste money on new clothes becuz I KNOW I will get disappointed if I cant fit into the size I want to be.

Hello thin....go try on some smaller clothes before you buy them. Get a 2x or a 1x and take them into the changing room and try them on. You might be surprised. This was about a month ago I read this that one woman on LB had gotten dressed for work, it was cold and snowing or raining I can't remember which, anyhow she was rushing into work and her pants fell down around her ankles!:wink: I laughed so hard when I read that. The point is we see ourselves as being bigger than we really are. I thought my clothes fit until one of my DDs asked when I was going to get clothes that fit. I could grab a fistful of fabric off of my bottom with both hands and still had more I could have grabbed to make my pants look like they fit. It took her telling me that before I could somewhat see what her and others seen. :eek: I was shocked.

Go have fun and try on clothes!:w00t:

[Snapdragon 0]

I'm glad I found this board. I've been off of Lap Band Talk over the winter and I came back looking for support since I'm feeling somewhat defeated over my slow losses.

I was actually so upset that I gave my scale away to The Salvation Army thrift store. I have no idea what I weigh right now and I really could care less.

At my last fill apointment (actually the last two appointments) I'd gained weight. I cried. Both appointments. My husband doesn't know what to do with me after those appointments. I'm sitting in the doctors office texting him, "I gained weight. I hate myself. I'm such a loser and not in a good way." =(

How can I possibly gain weight?! At the time I was walking like crazy (about 5-6 nights per week for 45 minutes), eating correctly and thought I was doing it "right".

Since my last fill appointment (more like disappointment) I have canceled three appointments. I kept telling my husband, "I can't cry again at the doctors office".

I try to recount my victories - I'm completely off my diabetes medication, I'm down from a tight fitting size 26 to a solid 18 on top and 16 on the bottom, and I feel better with my body and in my clothes.

However, my blood pressure, which is insanely high (due to hereditary reasons) is still through the roof. I'm still on my thyroid meds and my doctor tells me I will be for the rest of my life. My recent blood work came back that I have high cholesterol so at my next doctors appointment I'll be getting a prescription for MORE meds. Oh joy.

I already take about 400 mg in high blood pressure meds and about 75 in thyroid. Thankfully the 2000 mg in diabetes meds has gone away - at least for now. I feel like I'm a pill popping machine - at 38.

My fill appointment is on April 30th and I'm like a woman on a mission. I've revamped my diet (although I think I'm already doing what I'm supposed to do) and I'm on the verge of just going full blown liquids until the 30th. I know I can't possibly do that - it's not healthy and I know I can't stick to that, but I don't know what else to do.

The last time I lost a lot of weight (100 lbs) about 11 years ago it took me two years, so I know I'm a slow loser. But crappity crap crap - I thought with the band I'd see a bit more progress.

I know a lot of my hang up's come from my self image. There are days I don't look in the mirror because I can't stand what looks back. All I see is this fat face with a huge double chin, puffy cheeks and bloated body. I wish I could see myself the way my husbands sees me. He tells me how gorgeous I am and I just can't seem to find that woman that he sees.

I truly am my own worst enemy.

I think I'll go off the deep end if at my next fill appointment I've gained weight or not lost anything since the last time. It's also my one year appointment and this stupid survey I agreed to at the University hospital is going to take blood and urine and measure all of me.

I don't know what to do with myself. I just want to see progress and it's so elusive.

Sorry for complaining. Thanks for listening.

[gone 4 ever 6]

I'm glad I found this board. I've been off of Lap Band Talk over the winter and I came back looking for support since I'm feeling somewhat defeated over my slow losses.

I was actually so upset that I gave my scale away to The Salvation Army thrift store. I have no idea what I weigh right now and I really could care less.

At my last fill apointment (actually the last two appointments) I'd gained weight. I cried. Both appointments. My husband doesn't know what to do with me after those appointments. I'm sitting in the doctors office texting him, "I gained weight. I hate myself. I'm such a loser and not in a good way." =(

How can I possibly gain weight?! At the time I was walking like crazy (about 5-6 nights per week for 45 minutes), eating correctly and thought I was doing it "right".

Since my last fill appointment (more like disappointment) I have canceled three appointments. I kept telling my husband, "I can't cry again at the doctors office".

I try to recount my victories - I'm completely off my diabetes medication, I'm down from a tight fitting size 26 to a solid 18 on top and 16 on the bottom, and I feel better with my body and in my clothes.

However, my blood pressure, which is insanely high (due to hereditary reasons) is still through the roof. I'm still on my thyroid meds and my doctor tells me I will be for the rest of my life. My recent blood work came back that I have high cholesterol so at my next doctors appointment I'll be getting a prescription for MORE meds. Oh joy.

I already take about 400 mg in high blood pressure meds and about 75 in thyroid. Thankfully the 2000 mg in diabetes meds has gone away - at least for now. I feel like I'm a pill popping machine - at 38.

My fill appointment is on April 30th and I'm like a woman on a mission. I've revamped my diet (although I think I'm already doing what I'm supposed to do) and I'm on the verge of just going full blown liquids until the 30th. I know I can't possibly do that - it's not healthy and I know I can't stick to that, but I don't know what else to do.

The last time I lost a lot of weight (100 lbs) about 11 years ago it took me two years, so I know I'm a slow loser. But crappity crap crap - I thought with the band I'd see a bit more progress.

I know a lot of my hang up's come from my self image. There are days I don't look in the mirror because I can't stand what looks back. All I see is this fat face with a huge double chin, puffy cheeks and bloated body. I wish I could see myself the way my husbands sees me. He tells me how gorgeous I am and I just can't seem to find that woman that he sees.

I truly am my own worst enemy.

I think I'll go off the deep end if at my next fill appointment I've gained weight or not lost anything since the last time. It's also my one year appointment and this stupid survey I agreed to at the University hospital is going to take blood and urine and measure all of me.

I don't know what to do with myself. I just want to see progress and it's so elusive.

Sorry for complaining. Thanks for listening.

Welcome back Snap...

How many fills have you had? It sounds like your not at your sweet spot (green zone). It is not unusual to gain a little at first. The band is a tool that you have to learn to work with. Since I don't know what your eating I can't really help on that except are you tracking your food intake? Write down everything you drink and eat. Even if it tasting while you cook. I use Spark People to help track my food. I do both. I write it and type it. All my calories, carbs, Protein. Some people track more than that, I just stick with the basics. You might be eating more calories than you think or not enough. calories. You might want to do the 5 day pouch test.

Surgical Weight Loss 5 Day Pouch Test .

It helped me when I fell off over the holidays. If you only weigh at the Dr.s that is fine if that is more comfortable for you. Tell yourself I will do this. Stop putting yourself down. That will not help you at all. It will defeat you! I know this sounds silly but look at yourself everyday in the mirror and tell yourself " I love myself and I am beautiful." It really does help.

Does any of your meds have a side effect of gaining weight? You might want to check into that.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[fluffycat 1]

Just relish in the fact that you took positive action towards a better person. Be patient. How long did it take to put on? Why are we in such a hurry. Enjoy every moment because you did the right thing--don't dwell on the negative. It will tear you up inside.

[Snapdragon 0]

Welcome back Snap...

How many fills have you had? It sounds like your not at your sweet spot (green zone). It is not unusual to gain a little at first. The band is a tool that you have to learn to work with. Since I don't know what your eating I can't really help on that except are you tracking your food intake? Write down everything you drink and eat. Even if it tasting while you cook. I use Spark People to help track my food. I do both. I write it and type it. All my calories, carbs, Protein. Some people track more than that, I just stick with the basics. You might be eating more calories than you think or not enough. calories. You might want to do the 5 day pouch test.

Surgical Weight Loss 5 Day Pouch Test .

It helped me when I fell off over the holidays. If you only weigh at the Dr.s that is fine if that is more comfortable for you. Tell yourself I will do this. Stop putting yourself down. That will not help you at all. It will defeat you! I know this sounds silly but look at yourself everyday in the mirror and tell yourself " I love myself and I am beautiful." It really does help.

Does any of your meds have a side effect of gaining weight? You might want to check into that.

Good luck and keep us posted.

I've forgotten how many fills I've had. I think I've had four, maybe five. I'm always amazed at how people remember exactly what their fill date was and how much they received. Maybe it's because after my first appointment (where I'd lost weight) things have gone downhill since then. Arg.

I have a 14 cc band and I have 10 cc's. I thought I was at my sweet spot or at least I had good restriction because I do feel restricted. Food doesn't just slide down - I get stuck if I eat too fast or eat something that just doesn't want to go down (sourdough bread, bacon, etc.). Maybe I'm not at my sweet spot though.

Thanks for telling me it's not unusual to gain a little at first. I really want to believe that. LOL

As for what I'm eating, here is a typical day:

Breakfast -

One slice of WW toast

Laughing Cow Lite cheese

Egg

OR

Atkins shake blended with ice

lunch -

Soup with 2-4 no salt saltine crackers

OR

Tyson chicken strips (5 small in a serving) with a tablespoon of salsa

dinner -

Chicken (typically)

salad - lots of goodies in it

Dessert -

Weight Watchers something or other

OR

Light Ice Cream

I realize that ice cream is a no-no. I just love ice cream though. I'll go through phases - I won't have any for weeks and weeks then I'll buy some and have a dish after dinner for a week or so.

I also love cheese and this may be a downfall. I try not to snack, but sometimes I'm starving and it's not meal time so I'll have a couple of slices of cheese.

I try to eat a lot of Protein and that has helped me not lose any hair on this weightloss journey. The last few days I've cut out the cheese in hopes that will help me lose some weight.

I used to track my food intake, but got out of the habit. I suppose I should start again.

THANK YOU for the link to the pouch test. I'm definitely doing this. I'm starting today. THANK YOU!

Putting myself down is a bad and nasty habit of mine. You wrote, "It will defeat you". I hate that. You're right. It WILL defeat me. I have to stop playing my negative tapes (as my mother calls it).

Regarding my meds - I don't know if they have a side effect of gaining weight, but I do know that my BP meds make me feel "old". When I don't take them - I have all the energy in the world. I feel my age - I feel young and full of energy. Granted, I could drop dead of a stroke, but I feel good. LOL

I've talked to my doctor about it for years and she says unfortunately there is nothing I can do about it. I have to have the meds and I have to learn to live with the side effects of it slowing me down.

Thanks for your advice and encouragement. It helped a lot. Truly. Thank you.

Edited April 8, 2009 by Snapdragon

[Snapdragon 0]

Just relish in the fact that you took positive action towards a better person. Be patient. How long did it take to put on? Why are we in such a hurry. Enjoy every moment because you did the right thing--don't dwell on the negative. It will tear you up inside.

Thanks for the encouragement, Fluffy. You make a good point - it didnt' go on overnight. I guess I'm just so sick and tired of this weight. I just want it to go away.

[gone 4 ever 6]

Your welcome sweetie. I hope that it helps you.

I am a cheeseaholic! I eat cheese with just about every meal. I eat block cheese and laughing cow cheese. I have always been a big cheese eater. That is the 1 thing I can't seem to give up. I usually don't eat sliced cheese like kraft singles. Not a big fan of it. Keep me posted!:glare:

[Carrie_C 9]

I can so relate to not buying new clothes. I feel like I still look huge as well. But mine are falling off. I am having a lot of emotional issues about losing weight and I didn't think I would. I think my brain is still the "fat girl" but my body is not. Everyone has noticed that I have lost a lot of weight, but I still wonder what they are talking about sometimes because I still feel the same....