female only Real Life Sex Educator Here---Feel Free to Ask Questions!

[thinkingslim70 0]

I have a question that a friend asked me and I couldn't answer so hoping someone here can help her. She was single for quite awhile and relied on her "back massager" for pleasure. She says now she feels like her clitoris has lost some of its sensitivity. She now finds it very difficult to orgasm any other way. Her question to me was - is it possible to regain this sensitivity and how?

Has anyone else found this to be a problem with using vibrators?

[rodriguezequal 3]

Has she tried using some sensitivity cream or gel on her clit? That may help her be more sensitive and reach a climax sooner...maybe it will also help her regain that sensitivity! :thumbup:

[Carrie_C 9]

I have found that to be a problem before with vibrators too. But if you stop using them for awhile, the sensation does come back.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Depending on her age, it could be a loss of testosterone.

They have testosterone cream that you can get a prescription for to put on there that makes a huge difference.

[married 0]

Hey everyone!

Yes, the warm washcloth is a great idea :thumbup:

My personal favorite lube is kinda hard to find, but it's called liquid Silk.

It's so good that once you use it, you will never go back to others!

Toys in Babeland have it. Google it

[rodriguezequal 3]

The lube we use is called Jo I think we got it at Lovers (formally Lovers Package) We love it! We have it in both Water based and oil based :thumbup:

[NurseMelly 0]

I guess I have the opposite problem of most women. I get too wet during sex. I know you're thinking, how can that be a problem, but it is. Sometimes it makes it so there's not enough friction. Unfortunately, I've researched this and there doesn't seem to be a lot of help for this problem. So, I guess I just have to wait till I get older as you tend to get dryer with age.

[Kimmiev3 0]

This may have been asked before but I have to ask? When can you have sex after having lap band surgery?

[rodriguezequal 3]

I was told as soon as it was comfortable...no limit, just when I was ready :smile2:

[cattoy71 0]

Whenever you feel up to it.

Some positions may feel a bit weird or sore on your band, so you may have to try a few different ones before you find one that is comfortable.

[charlimc 0]

im having a insecure time feeling like im not attractive or my partner is bored of me, im quite a sexual person and lately my partner and i only really have sex if i iniciate it and im finding alot of the time now he will say not right now or show no interest that im even playing around with him. Im taking this very personally that he dosnt want to have sex with me anymore.. what can i do?

[gamyj 0]

I think was abused as a child, but can't remember. I have body memories... I cry and shake sometimes during sex,sometimes after and "go far away" so to speak. I feel a remarkable amount of sadness, I feel lost. It is affecting my marriage. I feel guilty bc I avoid sex or anything and everything relating to sex. I have tried theraphy, but my insurance would only cover so much. I am so tired of ppl saying things like "maybe it was something u saw,or heard or whatever. I want someone to validate my feelings, my sadness,my real struggle. My husband is VERY supportive. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel lost and alone in my fear and pain. I would just love for someone to say "i understand" or "I know what ur going through". I just need to heal... if u have any suggestions, that would be great and very appreciated.

amy

[rodriguezequal 3]

I was molested at 3, raped at 13, and assualt at 15...my mother was raped and beaten when I was 9...It helped me to be in control. My husband let me be the one on top and "in control" during sex...allowing me to feel less vunerable...it really helped me...I got to decide what we did, how fast, and what not...it really did help...I was more comfortable with the lights on at first...but now I like it off lol. I am here if you need to pm me or anything...I understand how hard this can be.

[newhope4me 0]

charlimc, I understand.:wub:

I am a survivor. My childhood was robbed from me by more than one perp. My mom is still married to one of the people who abused me.

I've traveled a long, difficult road to get where I am now. I believe each survivor finds their own path to healing. I hate to say, "it's going to be ok, you'll get better" because it always seemed like empty promises when ppl told me that.

My first husband was abusive, maybe he didn't sexually abuse me, but I went from one abusive situation to another. I've attempted suicide, been hospitalized for 2 months, been through so many years of therapy, diagnosed with depression, post traumatic stress disorder, bipolar; taken so many different meds, I used to cut myself, burn myself (still struggle with self-destructive actions, today was especially difficult), have put myself in several terrible situations, I am lucky I'm alive. One thing I notice about myself is many times I feel like a little girl, lost, confused, scared, wanting comfort and I'm 40 years old. I have to seriously remind myself, have to bring myself back to reality (kinda difficult to explain).

I am now comfortable (most of the time) with sex (if not, I don't). I have been through what you are talking about. I used to completely break down and lose it. My husband is very patient and caring. With me, it was basically time and trying to get comfortable with myself. You must feel comfortable with your own body before you can truly enjoy being with someone else. I also think something that helps me is the 2000 miles that seperates me from all my family. I know that's immature or whatever, but now I can live my own life without having to live around people who pretend nothing is wrong. (just about a month ago, one of my cousins apologized to me, that she didn't do more to help me. but she was also a child, what could she have done at the time)

Unlike the previous responder, I do not like to be on top (I feel too much "on display"), and I rarely can do it with the lights on.

If you need to discuss anything, please feel free to pm me, I can share my email address and even my phone number with you if you would like.

[Carrie_C 9]

I was sexually abused at 10. I know exactly how you feel. I used to feel the same way about sex. I wouldn't even let a boy touch me when I was a teenager. I agree with rodriguezequal, it helped me to be in control.