female only men noticing you more with weigth loss?

[plh2u 0]

I know, this is a no-brainer. Of course men are going to respond to women when they are less overweight. But I wanted to hear some experiences with this. I am freeking 40, never married, I was engaged once upon a time. Been in several relationship dated several men. Kept on hearing--"see me when you lose the weight" "Its not you, its me" "I'm not ready for a relationship(but he marries a few months later" blah blah blah, you all have heard the stories. I still want to know there is hope for married and children.!!!! someone give me hope! and no I am not going to go back to any of those duds that wouldnt accept me before! NO WAY JOSE! They don't deserve me!

[Jachut 487]

I think its about a LOT more than just weight. Beautiful people are usually beautiful heavy and thin. There's lots of thin ugly people that have happy relationships. Looks have little to do with it, its finding the right person for you and that can be very hit and miss, and something you probably despiar of ever finding if you werent lucky enough to find it easily.

But that said, with weight loss and the body confidence that comes with it, I think you change a lot and project a different air - one that's a lot more attractive.

And also, we know its wrong, but people (and even those of us that are fat ourselves) assume an obese person is lazy, slovenly etc. I know that I have to consciously TELL myself that that is not true and that half the obese people walking round out there work full time jobs, have much cleaner houses than I do etc. But I definitely look more "pulled together" now. Clothes hang right, I just look more tidy overall and I think that in the same way, that makes people assume I'm organised, together, energetic - not all of which is always true!

I get a lot more superficial male attraction now, for sure. I get honked at when I'm running (man, I HATE it!), I get eyed up in the shopping centre and at work, men go out of their way to talk to me. Its satisfying, yes, and if you're wanting to meet someone, it does increase your chances I guess. But a good relationship still comes down to the personalities involved.

I also know, the people I find attractive, its for undefineable reasons and has very little to do with classic good looks, its always about a little something that appeals and you already have that for the right person.

dont lose hope, it just hasnt happened yet, its not that you dont deserve it, because you DO.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Well, I was married at one point and my husband died at a young age. I was alone for quite a few years after that.

After losing the weight, I met a great guy on match.com

As far as having children go, my boss married someone ten years younger than her and had twins at the age of 50.

[HeatherO 7]

There is definitely a lot more superficial attention, that is for certain. However, that is flattering but not much more than that. There is so much more to finding the right person.

Confidence increases when you lose the weight for almost all of us . . . and that is a definite bonus as well. However, I know a lot of heavy people that are great in the relationship department and have no problems meeting people. I also know plenty of thin people that just kind find someone that meets their needs. Normal weight helps but it is only a small piece of the pie.

More and more people are finding success by meeting people via the internet because you can so easily pre-screen and those things that are most important (beyond looks) become apparent over time.

I met my husband online in 2005, we were married in 2007. He loved me heavy, he loves me thin, he loves me period and we are very, very happy together. I would highly suggest it for anyone who is having difficulty meeting the "right" person . . . but please be careful because there are some not so great people on line as well.

[Angvigarcia23 0]

I don't know if anyone else gets this way, but I was always shy, and really the only attention I got from guys was back from my high school reputation. So now in real life, I have lost all this weight, and guys are always looking at me, I am in a very commited relationship and have been for the past 5 years, so he is the only man I really trust. I just get really mad when these guys look at me and want to talk to me, I sort of feel like, what I wasn't good enough for you before and now all of a sudden I am worth talking to. This is mostly people i have seen before, like at the mall or grocery store lol. Its not like I even want the attention, Cuz when I started losing weight, everyone was like Oh man your boyfriend better watch out, Like I am just gunna go with someone else that gives me the time of day lol. So that was a bunch of word vomit thanks for listening

[aubrie 6]

LOL.... "Word Vomit".

Hmmm. I've never heard that term, but it perfectly describes this type of thing!

[littlefroggy 0]

When I was heavier I never wanted to go out! I was always embarrassed and self conscious when I did go out. I think I put up a natural wall that made me someone people weren't interested in. I haven't really had a relationship in years... other than little flings and they always ended badly.

Now I am feeling very confident. I feel like I look good, and I DO!!! I am feeling hot n' sexy. I actually need to learn how to turn guys down (I'm a lesbian anyway) but I have had a couple guys try to kiss me or something since losing weight and realize I don't understand the signals and make conversation and don't get that they are flirting.

When I was younger I had some strategies, but they were rather rude (as teens can be) and I don't want to do that. It usually resulted in the guy being rude back... so not a very good adult way to deal with being hit on. But honestly I can't remember being hit on in public since HS unless it was at a college party and I was drunk. Even then, the times were few and far between. Any time I have been hit on by someone I was interested in, it ended up in a relationship... so I don't have a lot of experience just being hit on by strangers and dealing with it. I actually have had a couple bad experiences since I don't know how to deal with this kind of attention.

I am so glad that this has happened though because I can learn a lot and take my life in the next direction (hopefully, relationship, marriage, kids, so forth.) I am feeling very confident and great looking, buying new clothes and feeling hot, hot, hot. People pick up on that and I notice even strangers smiling at me more. it's so strange!!

I know I have some things to learn, but I will...