To Tell or Not to Tell, That is the Question.

[Ineedalapband 0]

So, my Mother-in-law is coming for a visit next week. She arrives on the exact same day as my 3rd fill and will be here 7 days. Up to this point I've had my husband swear not to tell anyone about my band. My parents know because we live near them and a select few of my friends. I haven't seen my MIL in two years because she lives far away, not because we don't like her.

The fill really puts my in a weird place. I tried to change the appt for the day she leaves but they are booked. I know I'll be on mushies the next day as well as cautious eating after because I feel like this fill is going to be the one that is going to cause me to REALLY follow the rules. I don't want to lie but I don't want to be choking on a cracker with no explaination either.

I really just want to keep it to myself but I feel like it will either get out accidentially or she'll wonder whats up when I cut my food into pieces I'd feed the baby. :rolleyes2: MIL lives near SIL, etc. so I know telling her means putting the word out to the rest of his family.

Would you tell just for the sake of ease?

[krtork 0]

I had my husband tell my mil. We are going out to see them for Thanksgiving and I didn't want her thinking that I didn't like her cooking or that I was being rude. She would notice I wasn't eating "enough" and make it into a big deal. She was actually really supportive and excited that I had wls and was losing weight and feeling well.

So it ended up being a good thing and cleared the air before we get together.

[Shamrockgirl60 1]

If you don't' want to tell her just say you have a tummy virus and not feeling well for a few days.

[BDS_Geologist 0]

Before my surgery, I didn't want anyone to know. I told my parents, my brother and sister, and of course my wife knew. I was afraid of being criticized for it and I had so many false starts that I wasn't even sure that I'd get banded.

After the surgery, I only told my closest friends and family. As I've seen more success at weight loss, I'm not at all shy about telling people about the road that I'd taken.

At 47 years old, I'd been heavy for 47 years. I ate a sensible diet and exercised regularly, but nothing worked that well to help me get and keep the weight off. Now, I proud of my banding and it's changing my health for the better.

Bryan

[Ineedalapband 0]

She is overweight herself and my DH seems to think telling her may even open up the idea to her for LBS. I don't know. I think I'm going to see how this fill does for me and just play it by ear. I'll bet I end up telling by the end of the week though.

I guess I just don't want people expecting too much from me too soon. I'm not embarrassed I had it done, I just don't need any additional pressure or judgment.

[krtork 0]

I totally understand the pressure, expectation thing! I think we all have that feeling in the back of our minds - we have failed so many other times you can't help but wonder about this.

I am sure it will work itself out and you may end up talking about it once she is there. It could end up being a win/win for you! Let us know how it works out.

[thetvgeneral 0]

i hear all of you. of course i'm the lucky one who was banded at the hospital i work at. i guess it's a good and bad thing. i have a ton of support and people who ask how i'm doing constantly...but on the other side of the coin, i have those who are watching me like a hawk and just have to comment on every little thing i put in my mouth. my favorite comment is, "are you allowed to eat that?"

you'll know if it's the right time to tell her. take care!

[Ineedalapband 0]

For those who care, I didn't tell her. It was difficult because someone who knows I had it came over and was talking to me saying stuff like "can you have carbonation, etc." but it was vague.

I also had my first seriously stuck episode in front of her but just played it off as something "stuck in my craw". So, she may have left with her suspicions but not with the facts. I just didn't feel like it was the right time. Give me another 50lbs lost and maybe I'll tell her then.

She didn't even notice I'd lost 30lbs since the last time I saw her. Oh well.

[tutornmom 1]

I know this thread is kind of dead because the moment has passed but I had a similar situation last weekend. I sing with a group of ladies that I only see twice a year (usually). Some noticed that I had lost 30 pounds and some did not. I made the decision to be open about my surgery and I actually saw hope in the eyes of some of the heavier ladies. They had lots of questions and I was able to spread a good word for lapband surgery.

I hope some of them will check on it. I know that I am happier and healthier with it so wouldn't it be great if they could join me on this journey.

There are some people who have been nasty about my weight in the past and I simply didn't want to tell them but I didn't have the energy to keep up with who I told and who I didn't so I tell everyone who asks.

Rachelle

[stevegoad 32]

Well, my MIL knows... but my mother doesn't (a strange thing that MILLIE doesn't question my finances, my mother still thinks she needs to know everything, even though I am married and 48 years old... so I didn't tell her).

Other than MILLIE, my wife, my pastor and 2 friends know. No one else. Not any of their business.