confused and afraid

[babyleeda@yahoo.com 0]

i am currently 17 years old and weigh about 180 lbs. Writing in this forum is especially hard for me because for first off im having to actually finally accept the fact that i am over weight. The weight gain all started about two years ago...and in 2005 i weighed in at 98 pounds exactly. I have been small my entire life untill now and it is extremly hard having to cope with the new way of life im forced to live with. Three years ago i was sexually, emotionally and pyshically abused, after living in that situation for 11 months i came out of it a wreck. I was diagnosed with post tramatic stress disorder and had to undergo extensive therapy,hyonotherapy and a wide variety of medications. All of which seemed to get me out of my depressed state. What i didnt notice was i began gaining weight like crazy and i had no clue why. My entire body is coverd with stretch marks from gaining around 90 pounds in two years. I feel and look completly disgusting. I was once a 98 pound, active healthy happy girl. Since the weight gain came on, ive found out that i have a auto immune disease called hashimoto thyroiditis which caused excessive weight gain. But once i found out i had it and began meds, nothing got any easier. I now have mild narcolepsy,chrons disease,major thyroid issues, and acid reflux. I also have back pains and joint pains. I continue to gain weight to this day and i am miserable. My mom was over weight and got the lap band surgery and it worked wonders on her...shes lost over 60 pounds and feels and looks amazing. I am really confused and afriad to even think about this surgery, or to even think that my weight is causing me to be unhealthy. Untill i found this forum i felt like no one would be there to listen or understand my situation. I have breifly mentioned it to my doctors and they said it would be really hard to get insurence to help out...did anyone else have that problem when trying to get the surgery? Do you think i would actually be a good candidate for the surgery?

[MaxDrmmr 0]

a) im 18, and i wish i could be 180

it all depends on you bmi, like how tall you are and your weight, and all that shniz shnoz.

[chelsbels 2]

im 18 and and also wished i weighed 180

i was never a skinny girl so i dont know how it feels to go threw what youve been threw...i would talk to a doctor and have them see what your options are and if you even qualify...good luck :thumbup:

[serenitystar07 0]

Wow, sounds like we have the same beginning, so let me introduce myself.

I'm Serenity, I'm 19 and from northern California. I have always been extremely active, and although I wasn't as small as you, at 16 years old I was a perfect 110 pounds. Unfortunately, I too was sexually/physically/mentally assaulted at that age, and the tolls have been enourmous. I went through, similar to you, many different forms of therapy, and many many medications to battle the post traumatic stress as well as the insomnia and anxiety. Although the depression, anxiety, and insomnia have pretty much gone away thanks to the medications and time, I managed to put on about 115 pounds in three years. Wow, right?! That's what I said. I was completely in denial of how much weight I had gained until I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. Because of my rapid weight gain I now stop breathing in my sleep. Not only is it horrible for my health, but it's definately not easy having friends over when I'm stuck wearing a cpap machine to bed.

Hence how I ended up looking into the lap band surgery. Throughout those three years I have tried every diet, every personal trainer or work out video i could get my hands on, and after losing the initial 10 pounds or so, I couldn't get anymore off. I, too, am feeling a little confused and afraid of the lifestyle changes I must commit to in order for this "tool" to be helpful, however, I feel that missing out on normal teenage activities is harder than those lifestyle changes. I would love to be able to snowboard again, or go to the waterpark without crying for hours and hours at a time. I would love to go play football in the rain, skip around the mall, or even go hiking again... and for me the lifestyle changes totally seem worth it to be able to do the things i love doing again.

Growing up in everything from beauty pageants, to dance classes, to an amazing 8 years cheerleading, I never thought I would be in the position I am now. I think gaining this weight has taught me alot about life, and people in general, but I also think it's time for me to take action and do what I need to do to be happy again.

I would love to talk to you if you think it would help.. I'm excited I found the teen forums because I really wasn't relating much to the 40's and 50's year olds..