Unsure if surgery is for me

[AvondaleGirl 0]

Hi. I have been researching the Lap Band for almost two years, I feel very confident that I know pretty much everything I can expect with it. I just feel so lost. I am so worried that people will think I am a failure and am disgusting or something for doing this. I feel afraid to not depend on food anymore. Giving up the way I eat and the things I eat, which I know is why I am over weight. But, thinking about it all is really scary. I just wonder if I will be the same person, will I be obsessed with food, calories.. will people love me more if I am thin? I dont know I just am so unsure. The biggest reason I want to have it done is so I can tell my children some day that I made the choice to be healthy and live a long life to be with them. I feel like my parents didn't choose to be healthy for me and they are slowly killing themselves with obesity. I dont want my children to think that about me. Sorry to go on and on.. I just am not sure where I should go from here. I really want the band some days and then others it feels so frightening to give up everything I know and change myself. Has anyone gone through this? I need help. I know its what I want/need but it is so scary.

[natashabands 0]

If the scary part is you having a new life... then that's not something that should be feared. It should be embraced. It's a huge change and it'll work if you're willing to make it work.

[steph_co 9]

Yes...I totally get where you're coming from. I didn't want to be one of "those people" that turns to surgery because I couldn't control myself. I didn't think it was for me. But I hit rock bottom when I tried 5 years to get pregnant - not a dang thing wrong with me according to all the tests. Then I DID get pregnant and I miscarried at 10 weeks. I was POSITIVE it had to do with my weight. I never asked a doc about that, but no other reason made sense.

I just decided I couldn't continue to live in my fat body - I had to do something. Something that would stick with me for life unlike some diet that I could just give up on.

Getting the surgery was a HUGE decision. I was scared - I teared up lying in the bed in pre-op. I had images of jumping up, tearing the IV out of my arm, grabbing my clothes and getting the heck out of there.

But you know what? It has been the best decision I have ever made. I have been able to lose weight that I haven't been able to lose in YEARS. And it has stayed off rather than packing back on everything I lost and gaining more on top of it.

This ride has been a rollercoaster for me. I had a good 4 months after the surgery when my middle name was motivation and I lost a bunch of weight. Things got tough and I started eating around my band. But I still couldn't eat as much as I did before the band! So instead of gaining back the 60 lbs that I had lost up to that point and adding to it, I only gained back 15 of them. I've now lost 12 of those and am back on track.

I know everybody's different, so in saying this I am not guaranteeing that you'll be the same - but there isn't a single food that I can't eat. Everything goes down if I chew it enough. I just eat a whole heck of a lot less of it. There are some foods that are more of a hassle to eat now, but that's fine. Really and truly - a taste is enough. I don't have to get sick from eating whatever it is to be satisfied.

I was a major compulsive eater before the band. Do I miss eating like I used to be able to? No. I like being in control. Even in my "bad" time this year, I still was more in control than I've ever been in my life around food. And you know what? It feels good.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Hi. I have been researching the Lap Band for almost two years, I feel very confident that I know pretty much everything I can expect with it. I just feel so lost. I am so worried that people will think I am a failure and am disgusting or something for doing this. I feel afraid to not depend on food anymore. Giving up the way I eat and the things I eat, which I know is why I am over weight. But, thinking about it all is really scary. I just wonder if I will be the same person, will I be obsessed with food, calories.. will people love me more if I am thin? I dont know I just am so unsure. The biggest reason I want to have it done is so I can tell my children some day that I made the choice to be healthy and live a long life to be with them. I feel like my parents didn't choose to be healthy for me and they are slowly killing themselves with obesity. I dont want my children to think that about me. Sorry to go on and on.. I just am not sure where I should go from here. I really want the band some days and then others it feels so frightening to give up everything I know and change myself. Has anyone gone through this? I need help. I know its what I want/need but it is so scary.

I'm one of those "get down and dirty honest" kind of people so I'm going to spell it out. ;o)

The only legit excuse you have from what you have written to fear surgery is the fear of giving up food and large quantities of it. It is hard, there is no way around it. As for what other people think? Who cares? Don't tell them. I certainly don't base my medical decisions on what my friends and family will think. I base my medical decisions on what my doctor and I think.

Let's be real, you are 23 years old. If you tell me you don't care if you are thin and attractive I won't believe you. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look and feel good.

Darl'en, you are 23 years old and you are morbidly obese. How big are you going to be when you are 30? 40? 50? You have the opportunity to do something about it. Get it done.

Good luck to you.

[AvondaleGirl 0]

Yes...I totally get where you're coming from. I didn't want to be one of "those people" that turns to surgery because I couldn't control myself. I didn't think it was for me. But I hit rock bottom when I tried 5 years to get pregnant - not a dang thing wrong with me according to all the tests. Then I DID get pregnant and I miscarried at 10 weeks. I was POSITIVE it had to do with my weight. I never asked a doc about that, but no other reason made sense.

I just decided I couldn't continue to live in my fat body - I had to do something. Something that would stick with me for life unlike some diet that I could just give up on.

Getting the surgery was a HUGE decision. I was scared - I teared up lying in the bed in pre-op. I had images of jumping up, tearing the IV out of my arm, grabbing my clothes and getting the heck out of there.

But you know what? It has been the best decision I have ever made. I have been able to lose weight that I haven't been able to lose in YEARS. And it has stayed off rather than packing back on everything I lost and gaining more on top of it.

This ride has been a rollercoaster for me. I had a good 4 months after the surgery when my middle name was motivation and I lost a bunch of weight. Things got tough and I started eating around my band. But I still couldn't eat as much as I did before the band! So instead of gaining back the 60 lbs that I had lost up to that point and adding to it, I only gained back 15 of them. I've now lost 12 of those and am back on track.

I know everybody's different, so in saying this I am not guaranteeing that you'll be the same - but there isn't a single food that I can't eat. Everything goes down if I chew it enough. I just eat a whole heck of a lot less of it. There are some foods that are more of a hassle to eat now, but that's fine. Really and truly - a taste is enough. I don't have to get sick from eating whatever it is to be satisfied.

I was a major compulsive eater before the band. Do I miss eating like I used to be able to? No. I like being in control. Even in my "bad" time this year, I still was more in control than I've ever been in my life around food. And you know what? It feels good.

Thanks so much, that really helped. I still have a lot to think about, it's nice to know that people understand where I am coming from.

[karook54 0]

Yes...I totally get where you're coming from. I didn't want to be one of "those people" that turns to surgery because I couldn't control myself. I didn't think it was for me. But I hit rock bottom when I tried 5 years to get pregnant - not a dang thing wrong with me according to all the tests. Then I DID get pregnant and I miscarried at 10 weeks. I was POSITIVE it had to do with my weight. I never asked a doc about that, but no other reason made sense.

I just decided I couldn't continue to live in my fat body - I had to do something. Something that would stick with me for life unlike some diet that I could just give up on.

Getting the surgery was a HUGE decision. I was scared - I teared up lying in the bed in pre-op. I had images of jumping up, tearing the IV out of my arm, grabbing my clothes and getting the heck out of there.

But you know what? It has been the best decision I have ever made. I have been able to lose weight that I haven't been able to lose in YEARS. And it has stayed off rather than packing back on everything I lost and gaining more on top of it.

This ride has been a rollercoaster for me. I had a good 4 months after the surgery when my middle name was motivation and I lost a bunch of weight. Things got tough and I started eating around my band. But I still couldn't eat as much as I did before the band! So instead of gaining back the 60 lbs that I had lost up to that point and adding to it, I only gained back 15 of them. I've now lost 12 of those and am back on track.

I know everybody's different, so in saying this I am not guaranteeing that you'll be the same - but there isn't a single food that I can't eat. Everything goes down if I chew it enough. I just eat a whole heck of a lot less of it. There are some foods that are more of a hassle to eat now, but that's fine. Really and truly - a taste is enough. I don't have to get sick from eating whatever it is to be satisfied.

I was a major compulsive eater before the band. Do I miss eating like I used to be able to? No. I like being in control. Even in my "bad" time this year, I still was more in control than I've ever been in my life around food. And you know what? It feels good.

Well said!!

[Melody2006 1]

Image if you you did this 2 years ago. Where would you be right now? Every day you don't is a wasted day. In 3 months I've lost almost 60 pounds and my life has completely changed. Bad foods no longer rule my life. I now eat to live and think about how a food benefits my body as fuel. At first I just really wanted to loose the weight. Now I'm all about my health. At first I had a few people try to bring my idea of the lap band down. Now, everyone is supportive and I'm willing to tell anyone I had it. It's no secret for me. I'm not ashamed.

In the beginning I was scared, but I knew if I did not do this I was agreeing to be fat forever and let my eating habits rule the rest of my life. I went on an eating tour before the band to "say goodbye one last time" to my favorites. Now, I can honestly say I'm not even tempted by those things. Not even sure how the band made that happen. I can't believe it myself.

[40ismyyear 0]

You are facing one of the biggest decisions you will ever make, and you are wise for taking all factors into account. My (slightly tongue in cheek) advice...

The reality of asking for help and making the HUGE step of getting a band is ... are you ready? ... YOU STILL HAVE TO WORK to lose the weight so you STILL GET THE CREDIT! :cursing: Who cares HOW you get healthy?! Be proud of the fact that you are moving in a positive direction to help yourself.

Like you, I did my due diligence and researched for a couple of years before landing on this decision that has changed my life so completely.

Here is the way I look at it. For me, MY band is NOT:

• a magic pill that mysteriously made all of my food cravings go away
  
• the therapist I never had who solved all of my emotional issues that made turn to food when I was happy, sad, angry, breathing ...
  
• a calorie counting miracle that sends signals to my brain when I have eaten too many calories
  
• a non-issue in my life that does not require me to think about it (sorry to get serious on you!)
  

What I have found my band IS:

• just the tool I needed to remind me that I don't have to eat until I am full, bloated like a toad and regretful to enjoy good food
  
• a voice inside my head that sounds a little like Jillian on The Biggest Loser (i.e. "Ok, Karen. You took this step, you are eating right. Why exactly are you not out there moving instead of sitting on the couch? Hmmmm?)
  

It is a personal choice - one you make for YOU and you alone. If you are ready to work and change your life, then it can be the right choice for you. If you are looking for a magic pill ... keep looking. And let me know if you find it!!

Best of luck to you and remember only you can take control of your life ... don't let what others think impair your decision to take a HUGE leap of faith and find out how flab-u-less you can be!!

[CherieLynne 0]

I am just starting to look into this. I both want to do it and also it scares the hell out of me. I'm in my 50s and have serious rheumatoid arthritis for which I take lots of meds. Do any of you know anyone with RA who has been banded???