sounds awful! Trying to understand...

[willowcat 93]

The last two times I've been to the doctors he's asked me if I've ever thought of bariatric surgery. I said that yes, I had, and that there was no way in H-E-double hockey sticks that I would ever have any of those proceedures done! Yesterday he asked me again if I'd ever thought of it, and he started telling me about the hospital's extensive support program and the surgeons who perform the proceedures. I began to cry. It seems like some kind of insanity to me--a modern day labotomy!

And yet I've been dieting since I was 14 (not always healthy diets, but always highly restictive), and after deciding that I've had "enough" I just gave up. I decided that if I was going to be fat anyway that I might as well accept it. This is who I am. I have come to accept myself, and probably for the first time since I was a child, I would say that my self-esteem is not wrapped up in my body size. Unfortunately, my body is starting to hurt--my knees and feet hurt most of the time; I have to squeeze into chairs with arms (don't get me started on coach seating on planes!); my car's seatbelt is becoming constricting; I'm having sleep problems. The lapband seems like the lesser of two evils, but still an awful way to live the rest of one's life. That I can even consider the lapband is a big step, but everything inside me is still yelling "NO!"

I've been on plenty of diets--the hope, the early stage euphoria, the platues, the defeat, the failure. How is this really different? I'm not trying to be a downer. I'm trying to see if I can wrap my head around this. I'm 45. Can I really stand to eliminate good-tasting food for the rest of my life?! Also, how long does the band really last? Will lapbanders still have their lapbands 40 years from now?

Thanks for being understanding.

[tkcuvelier 0]

Hi!

Now, before I answer, let me say that I'm relatively a new bandster -- 3 weeks post-op. So, anything I say, the veterans are free to correct me. :smile2:

Personally, I was frightened to death to get this surgery. Yes, I wanted it. I worked my butt off to get it, but I questioned if I did the right thing all the way to the second they wheeled me into the operating room. But, after seeing so many who've had wonderful results, it is definitely worth it.

I'm a foodie -- I love cooking and preparing elegant cuisine; more for the joy of watching others enjoy it than for myself, but I enjoy it too. Unfortunately, elegant can often mean rich. For me, I see this as an opportunity for me to exercise my creativity in the culinary arts to take a favorite dish and make it lower in fat and calories and band-compatible --and that by NO means implies any loss of flavor or taste. :tt1:

Having the band doesn't mean giving up good tasting food -- it just means eating much smaller portions of it. Yes, there are a few things that you may not be able to tolerate (fresh bread, deep fried foods, etc.) but that doesn't mean the diet is bland and tasteless or lacking in variety. Getting in enough Protein is the key, but you can also have pastas, veggies, and meats... even Desserts (in moderation, according to my clinic's dietician).

According to my clinic's dietician (The Hurley Bariatric Center, part of Hurley Hospital), I will, after my first 8 weeks post-op are up, be able to follow a typical diabetic diet (me being a diabetic), which is what I was doing before I had the surgery. And diabetic diets, contrary to popular opinion, do NOT mean you cant have sugar -- you just have limit sugar intake, so the occassional dessert is fine. My surgeon recommended several diabetic cookbooks for me to follow once I am able to eat solid foods again, which I purchased and believe me, the dishes are to die for!

Eating healthy really does not mean eating bland and tasteless food, which is a common misconception. I love my grill, and use it often (and will again once I can). Grilled marinated meats have always been a favorite, lightly sauteed veggies, mashed potatoes, oven fried chicken... even tofu in oyster sauce is wonderful (yeah, I know no one likes tofu, but I love the stuff if done right). These are all things my surgeon and dietician have said will be perfectly acceptable. And who says you can't have the occassional naughty treat, as long as it agrees with the band? (wink wink) :tt1:

Of course, it does mean (for me) no more chips, KFC, or McDonalds. But that stuff isn't all that good anyway. McDonalds has always made me nauseous.... I will miss BK's Whoppers, though.

The hard part of the diet is the pre-op liquid diet (if your surgeon requires it) and the first 2 weeks following surgery, which is a full liquid diet. That does get a little tedious and boring.

As for the length of time one has the band, my surgeon said that I've got it for life. It can be taken out if necessary, but it really is there for good.

I hope that helps. I really believe this surgery is a worthwhile step, but you do have to make sure it's something you want. Depending on your circmstances, it can be a big change in the way one relates to food. Keep in mind, too, though that, as I'm sure you've heard on here, the band is a tool. It does require commitment, diet and exercise to work.

Tara

Edited November 1, 2008 by tkcuvelier

[di1138 8]

You have to do it for YOU. If you are not really committed to it you will fail. You can learn to eat around it if you don't follow the rules. It is a great tool and the best thing I ever did for myself but if you are against it then don't do it. I suggest you spend a lot of time researching it. Read the pre and post surgery posts. Learn all about it. YOU must decide for yourself and not look for others to talk you into it. Good luck on your journey.

[noosagirl 0]

I have only been banded a couple of months, had two fills and I can eat anything just not in the same quantity as I used to, I would like to have more fills and be more restricted though. Just because you have this surgery doesn't mean you have to have as much restriction as others, so just don't have as many fills. Having said all that I don't think you should do it if your gut feeling is saying "no". Listen to your heart and do what is best for you both mentally and physically. I wish you good luck in what ever you decide to do.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I was against any type of bariatric surgery. I could (and did) lose on many diets. Then I would get bored and quit counting/writing/weighing...and boom back up I'd go, plus another 20 pounds or more. So I quit dieting. (I won't EVER diet again, except to follow post-fill rules per my doctor) I had resigned myself to being pretty fat for the rest of my days, and that those days would be fewer, most likely, because of my weight.

Then I had an epiphany. If I needed a pacemaker for my heart, I'd get it in a snap. So, why was I resisting the band? I think of it as a pacemaker for my stomach...portion control. Instead of eating a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a shake, I'll be "satisfied" with a jr. burger, one or 2 of my husband's fries, no shake. Hmmm. I could have a baked chicken thigh instead of 4 pieces of fried chicken...and be full for 4-5 hours. No hunger. HMMMMM....When I looked at it from that perspective, It was a no brainer. I can have ONE cookie at christmas, not the pan. My doctor said the odds were that there would, eventually, be NO food off limits to me. Fresh bread, deep fried (as another poster mentioned)...eventually, once I've lost what I want and am used to chewing etc, odds are high there won't be anything I can't have if I truly want it. (He can't promise that, of course, but shoot, I'd give up bread to weigh below 200. I may not have to, but I would. ) I'll just want WAY WAY less of whatever I'm eating. Portion pacemaker for the appetite. I felt it would be nuts to keep refusing it, when I looked at it in the different light.

[Kat817 19]

In my opinion, when it becomes scarier to do nothing, than it is to have WLS, then you are ready. When the health issues begin to affect your quality of life, then you can bet they are also affecting the quantity of life, and you make a decision.

Lap band in no way is equivalent to a lobotomy, I am still of perfectly sound mind---well as sound as ever---it has not changed who I am, or much of the way I think. I do think about food a lot less now----food is not the be all end all of my world. I enjoy it, but it no longer rules me. And I am much smaller than I used to be---but that is in a physical way, not a mental one.

Do LOTS of research and be honest with yourself whether or not you could commit to the changes required. We do eat slower, and much less than you are used to doing now. I do however eat 99% of all the same foods I always have. I eat them in different quantities now, and enjoy different foods than I did pre band. Some bandsters however cannot eat some foods, and it is a possibility you have to face.

There ARE changes----and in my opinion every last one of them was WELL worth it.....and that is not my lobotomy talking!

Welcome to LBT- hang out read up as much as you can, and make an informed decision for yourself.

Kat

Kat

[Jachut 487]

Well said Kat, its all about reaching the point where NOT doing it is scarier, until then you're not ready. And its hard to have someone else suggest it to you when you've not considered it yourself.

However, even pizza and McDonalds can fit into a healthy diet when you learn what reasonable portion size is and if you dont eat it every day.

I have not eliminated one single food. Reading this board frightened the sh*t out of me because of all the high Protein diets everyone does, and all the shakes! I dont think that's a healthy diet and I dont want to eat that way, so much so that I decided not to have surgery. Till I joined an Australian board and realised that that was not the only way to work a lapband.

I dont do ANY of that stuff. I dont have shakes, I dont measure, count calories or fat or Protein. I eat whatever I want but I've learned to eat small quantities and not eat all day. My diet is more *normal* than it was before I was banded. I occasionally eat take away food, I occasionally have a piece of cake, I drink small amounts of alcohol quite regularly and bread, cereals and Pasta are regular items in my diet.

Its really not hard or weird or different. Its how you should be eating anyway, for the sake of your health.

Edited November 1, 2008 by Jachut

[Linds 0]

I was against any type of bariatric surgery. I could (and did) lose on many diets. Then I would get bored and quit counting/writing/weighing...and boom back up I'd go, plus another 20 pounds or more. So I quit dieting. (I won't EVER diet again, except to follow post-fill rules per my doctor)

I hope you don't have to "diet" ever again, but the fact that we have to follow rules to lose weight, is a "diet" in itself. I can only speak from my own experience....basically if I eat what I really want (chocolate, biscuits etc) I put lots of weight on and very quickly so I have to avoid the high calorific foods if I want to lose weight. All the band does is help with the quantity of food I can get in at any time - unfortunately it does not stop the things I like.

I have lost a lot of weight and my health has improved beyond recognition (I'd be dead now had it not been for my band). But it is a running battle for me and in hind sight, because of my chocolate cravings, I perhaps should have had a bypass (my hubby had one in June 2007 and lost 170lbs in 10 months and is now awaiting his plastics, whereas I am still battling on.

I love my band and it is a great tool to have, but please do not ever think that the weight might not return as it very easily can.

I love to see people who have go to goal with the band as it spurs me on but you have to really consider if you are right for the band.i.e. if your downfall is quantity then the band is for you, but if like me your problem is high calorific food, then you may have to work a lot harder and be more self-disciplined to lose the weight.

This is just my own views based on my own experience.

[OH Juli 15]

Give it Jahut and Jack, again.

I have to concur that this is a huge step and no one changes anything until what they are currently doing doesn't work for them anymore. So if you are not ready, you are not ready.

However, I eat normal foods all of the time. Some things are trickier than others like fruit peels but aside from that I can't say that all I eat is twigs and berries or chicken and shakes. My diet is well rounded and sane. Also full of flavor because I too cook. I love me my foodie pals.

Keep poking around here and ask all the questions you can think of. Look to the folks with a zillion posts to be the voice of experience. They've been committed to the band for years and are actively still participating in the community.

Rock on. I hope you find some peace.

J

[sara7venus 0]

I had the same thoughts that you've mentioned, about the band... This was several years ago, when I was first married. I was scared to death about getting it. After I had my daughter in 2006, however, I realized that my health is more important than to just LOOK good or feel good (even though that's important too). I need to be around for my children. I don't want to have gestational diabetes with my next pregnancy. I want to stave off diabetes and heart disease for as long as possible. I am WORTH it. Yes, I have accepted that there are things about me that I can't change. I have a weakness for anything with chocolate in/on/around it, or anything made with heavy cream and eggs BUT, I also have learned to accept that I am who I am because I LOVE who I am. And I deserve more than to cram myself into a seat on an airplane. I deserve to be able to buy any clothes I want, and to look damn good in them!

I have lost roughly 35 pounds since my surgery in June, and I just had another fill last Thursday. The band is now the tightest it's ever been, and it's definitely more effective than it had been! I am eating around 1100 calories per day, taking my Vitamins, exercising, and enjoying every minute! I am not hungry every second of the day anymore, and I'm not feeling deprived at all. I have so much more time to focus on the really important things (which are NOT food, by the way). I am focusing on enjoying my 2-year-old daughter and my husband. I am focusing on excelling at work. I am focusing on having men opening/holding doors for me and people actually treating me like a human being. I am enjoying this! I know that you have to be psychologically prepared for it (definitely!!!), but I'm only 31. I am surprised that it takes some people until they're in their 40s, 50s, or even 60s to make this decision. I am looking forward to living the best years of my life the way I should be. I should be healthy, happy, and beautiful (I already think I'm a beautiful person - this is how I came to the realization that I deserve so much more than what I currently have). But this is a choice, above all. It's definitely been a transition for me. I was a slow loser, at first. But the tighter my band has gotten, the more weight I've lost. The more weight I've lost, the more motivated I've become. The more motivated I've become, the more dedicated I am to making this work for me. It's a positive cycle of positive change. But, in the end, I *want* to do it.

No one told me to do it; no one suggested it to me. I was self-pay for my surgery. I took a loan from my 401(k) and sold some stock (turns out selling was the best thing I could've done, judging from the current economy!). I have the will, and the desire to achieve my goals. And someday I WILL weigh 140 pounds (or less, even). I know this. The lap band will help me get there, but I'm the one making the decision to work hard to get there. You need to make that decision for yourself.

If you're happy being the way you are, that's great. But it honestly doesn't sound like you're happy - at least not from what you've written. You need to decide what is most important to you, and for your personal happiness. Does food *really* make you happy? I think if you look deep down, you'll find that it doesn't make you happy. I had to come to a lot of really difficult realizations about myself, including that I just can't eat certain foods. I can't. Not just because they're not good for me, but also because I can't control myself when I eat them. It's just the way it is. I can accept that, and change things in order to control that aspect of my personality/life. It's my choice, and my life - just as it is your choice and your life.

I wish you ALL the best. Take care. We are all here for you, no matter what your decision is.

Regards,

Sarah H.

[sue in ne 1]

WillowCat,

been there myself. :wink: But for anything to succeed, you need to be honest with yourself. You don't have to be desperate. But be honest at your ability to stick with any diet regimen, alone. I, too, kept saying I can lose this on my own. i did do several weight loss programs but something always happened - life, illness, injury and I couldn't get back on th a treadmill. I've been anywhere from 138 to 311# in the last 30 years. :cursing: I really hesitated, until my Family doctor suggested it. I still hesitated after a consult and wanted to save the co-pay 1st.( Roughly 6-9 months) Then i had a 4 month roller coaster experience with my health - all complicated by my weight. I'd had enough and said I was ready. Just got insurance approval yesterday !!! Will use some of the $ for the Kid's college tuition, but at least I'll see her graduate.

[canadagirl33 0]

I'm not quite sure what you consider "awful"...

What I considered awful before my surgery was the fact that I couldn't work a full shift at work (Guest Service Agent at a Lodge) because my feet hurt so badly...

Or the fact that I couldn't sleep thru the night because my back and hips ached...

Or the fact that every time I met someone new I wondered if they were disgusted by my size...

Or the fact that I could only shop in certain stores and pay huge prices for clothes because that was the only place I could find anything that fit...

Or that my car seat had to be positioned back as far as it would go and the seatbelt was still annoyingly tight...

Shall I go on ???

Or maybe the things that you consider an awful way to live is the fact that some days I can't eat gooey sticky bread...

Or the fact that I don't drink when I eat...

Or sometimes I sit to a meal and find that the chicken/beef/ pork just isn't going to work for me tonite...

Or the fact that for the first time in my life I am at a "normal" weight and have been able to maintain it for a year...

My thoughts to you....if you at all think that this surgery might be awful in any way, you're almost certainly not ready to do this. Read this site some more, read any other site you can find regarding banding....or just decide you're not ready and don't read any of it !!! But DO NOT let anything that anyone posts be the deciding factor in having this surgery done. Unless and until YOU are ready to commit 100% you are just setting yourself up to fail.....and sadly, most (but not all!!!) who fail blame the band when in fact they were personally just not ready or able to commit fully.

All the best to you !!!

Patricia

[willowcat 93]

Thank you to everyone who has replied to my original post. Thank you for being so understanding and so honest about your own journeys and experiences pre and post banding. I am taking to heart the suggestion from many to look within myself to know if or when this would be right for me. Thanks!