Has any one lost friends since wls?

[desertmom 297]

My best friend in this country.For 4 days after the operation she visited and then 2 days later asked me to go for coffee (we go out a lot in this place)I said I wasnt feeling up to it yet.The next day she phoned to say we should go to a movie,I wasnt feeling up to that.Then we went over for supper and I couldnt eat,was still on liquids and that was that.

We have been excluded from our Friday brunches (Friday is Sunday here and everyone goes brunch buffet at hotels)Even when having cookouts at home we havent been included.Everytime she needed to talk about something I saw her and finally she didnt even say goodbye when leaving for summer......

Must say she is a very spoilt person and everyone dances a lot to her tune.I never minded it because I could still keep my distance when I wanted but well,enough is enough and that is not friendship.

You never know the people you call your friend for long because everyone is only here for a few years at a time and then move on again...

Anyhow,people that I didnt consider my friend actually showed more friendship in the past 3 months than I knew possible.So this is a good learning experience as well.

I must say what with heartburn and reflux in afternoon we havent been social like before and dont entertain like before.That will surely change after summer.

[beautifultina 1]

WOW! Its more common than I first thought. I have not even told my boss that I am going to have surgery. I know his condesending ass would find ANY reason to fire me so that I would lose my insurance and thus lose my sugery. How do I plan to have the surgery? Well, I asked for the day of and the day after off. I will call out sick for the next how-many-ever days I need and will take a doctor's note in and get paid from my sick pay instead of having to use up my vacation. The note just has to say that I was out for medical reasons. It doesn't have to say that I had surgery or even what kind of surgery. (neiner neiner neiner jerk boy boss man) Sneaky? maybe. but, I have seen how my boss has treated other people when they are not feeling well or going through something in thier private life..he DUMPS all over them and then talks about them behind thier backs!! how do I know this? I sit across from him and I hear EVERY word that he mutters..on the phone and in person...So there is no way I am going to let the bird out of the cage...only to be devoured by the EVIL CAT BASTARD that is my boss.

As for my best friend....well we have been best friends for over 10 years...she doesnt know. and I am not going to tell her. The very few people who do know, know not to tell her. My mom has been kinda wishy washy about it all but then again I havent told her of my surgery date yet (july 26). I will let her know when it it all over and done with. THen she will have nothing to worry about.

best of luck to you all.

I feel as if I have gained so many new friends here that even if I lose a few that I have had a while, then so be it...I come out better for it in the end.

Thank you ALL for shareing yourselves with me.

[vinesqueen 2]

Beautifultina, he cannot legally do that! Oh my gawd!

Crap, I dont remember which labor board you report him too, I don't think it's OSHA but it might be.

Keep yourself safe and report his butt to HR. What he is doing is illegal and is putting the company at risk.

[Barb 0]

Vines,

You are correct it is not OSHA. OSHA is Occupational Safety and Health and only applies to on-the-job safety and health issues. However the issue could be one of the following.

HIPPA - Health Insurance Privacy and Accountability Act which deals primarily with privacy related to employee health; or

FMLA - Family Medical Leave Act** - which allows for up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave annually for a qualified event. WLS should qualify when considered medically necessary and not cosmetic; or

In some situations it could fall under ADA - the Americans with Disabilities Act but in most situations this is probably the least likely.

**FMLA may or may not apply it depends on several factors such as the size of the company, the length of employment, etc.

Beautifultina, he cannot legally do that! Oh my gawd!

Crap, I dont remember which labor board you report him too, I don't think it's OSHA but it might be.

Keep yourself safe and report his butt to HR. What he is doing is illegal and is putting the company at risk.

[vinesqueen 2]

It's something else in addition to HIPPA and FMLA. It's the agency that deals with unfair labour practices.

Althought you are right, both of those cover BeautifulTina's situation.

[maudeispam 2]

I've told people that I wish I had not told. People I'm sure will think I took the "easy" way...and will probally talk about me behind my back. These people will be watching to see how well I do, and if I'm a slow looser it will be even worse...or if I gain back any I'll have to move to another state. I know this is a bit dramatic, but thats how I feel. I don't think they are happy for me...when I lost weight on diets, they would say how great I looked but then wait for me to gain it back.

This sounds like my mother in law. She lost 100lbs several years ago through TOPS. She even got an award. She has managed to keep the weight off, but is no skinny herself. She always makes comments oh you should exercise more and eat less. She has never truly accepted me in her family. I love her son with all my heart and he is very supportive. He even cried last night that he was afraid what he would do if he lost me in surgery. I told him everything would be fine and that I am taking a bigger risk with my life staying this weight. He understood and we both shared a good giggle and laugh when I said "Honey only the good die young, youre suck with me forever." As for my family and friends they all ask questions and are very excited for me. As for my MIL I take what she says as a grain of salt. I am looking forward to the day I walk into her house and I am smaller in size than her.

[Dragonwillow 0]

My mother in law is pertty small, so has never been heavy enough to have to loose 100lbs ever...but she has dieted and fusses about her weight when at most she might be 20lbs heavier than should be if that? She doesn't think much of my family...and can't say she is wrong about them but I would NEVER say something negative about someone elses family to that person. I feel like when we visit she spends all her time talking about my husband's brother and his family. I'm just overly sensative I think, since I feel like I've fought her for ever inch of respect, and it was just given to the sister in law from the get go. Course I meet my mother in law at age 15...my sister in law was around 27..so if we base everything on first impressions I'm sure my sister in law made a better one.

Melissa

[Barb 0]

Vines,

Ok, I think you are probably thinking of the EEOC - Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. EEOC is federal and some cases are handled at the state level by the Human Rights Commssion although the name of the state agency may be different depending on the state.

EEOC handles discrimination cases based on Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, primarily that would be age, ethnicity, race, sex/gender, religion, etc. this list is not all inclusive. Also claims under the Pregnancy Discrimination Act.

It's something else in addition to HIPPA and FMLA. It's the agency that deals with unfair labour practices.

Althought you are right, both of those cover BeautifulTina's situation.

[justbeingme 1]

The list of people I have told and are going to tell is very small. I have told my sister, my mom (of course she has to know she is going with me...haha), my dad, and my mom's friend who had gastric bypass, Wendy. Wendy is a good friend of the family and she only knows because my mom wanted to talk to her about the surgery and what she thoght about it. She said that if it would have been available to her, she would have had weight loss surgery a lot sooner than she did. She weighed atleast 300 lbs but like me she is tall, I am 5'10" and she is 5'9", and she carries her weight well. But I don't think I will tell people I may tell my best friend years from now. But I don't really know.

[MochaWendy 0]

I am the Wendy that justbeingme is referring to in her message. I weighed in at 308 when I had Gastric Bypass Surgery. 2 years later I am now down 168 #'s. I haven't lost anything since Novemeber. But I have met my goal and am maintaining.

As far as who you tell and who you don't. Alot of people will watch you after they find out. I found that MOST we just curious because they didn't know anyone who had gone through it. And I considered it a learning experience for them. I decided to educate them. As far as I am concerned, having the surgery was one of the best decisions I ever made. Every one is different and all procedures are different. But I am willing to help anyone. So If any of you have any questions. Fire off an email to me........ And I'll get back to you