Irritated

[salome000 0]

I'm really surprised that, over the past several months, I've found such a discrepancy between doctors on post op eating. My doctor said liquids for 2 weeks after surgery and mushies for the next 4. Needless to say, I'm eating normally now...I'm losing weight and eating healthy but hell, I was eating chicken, bread, etc. after the first week. I even drank a red bull the other night...slowly, of course, and tried to keep belching to handle the carbonation but had no problems.

You would think there would be some kind of standard set or at LEAST a little more similarities in this whole band process with the doctors. I'm starting to feel like the band is the phen-fen of the 2000's. Meaning the docs are just doing the surgeries in bulk and not giving a damn about the aftercare.

Now, before you launch with your doctor testimonials, understand that I AM generalizing and speaking in majority terms. To prove my point, these seem to be the common stories that continually crop up on this thread.

1-Why am I starving? I sure as hell wasn't told that I would be struggling with the hunger I'm dealing with. No wonder I see so many stories about bandster hell and poor people falling off the wagon...we're not equipped to deal with the hunger we're feeling.

2-Why isn't the scale moving? Probably because we're eating a little too much or there's been no behavior modification offered. I have to go to a nutritionist once a month (at a 500 dollar extra cost) and am not offered ANYTHING but an 'opportunity' to purchase crap from them. I'm forced to drive 3 hours round trip to have her spend 45 minutes telling me what to eat. Hell, she could've faxed it to me and saved me a half tank of gas.

3-Why am I depressed? Well, I'm going with a couple of things. Withdrawel, for one. food was a drug, we went to rehab and are now trying to find things to replace it and I daresay, for me and a lot of others, food was a HUGE part of my life. I've also found myself trying to reconcile this person I'm becoming with the person I've always been. Let's not play the 'you're still the same person' game...you may be but for years, I've villiafied slim women, believing they must not be good people (to make myself feel better, of course). Now, I'm becoming one of them.

I understand that therapy is a great option but what about those who don't have that insurance option? What about those who can't afford it? It seems to me that a procedure that costs 10-20 grand should be a little more involved with the aftercare of a patient instead of just doing a fill or two.

Sorry for the long post...I just read so much here and feel like the majority of us have fallen by the wayside. I also receive way too many private messages after my comments and posts from women who are afraid to talk about these things because of the few banders who are very aggressive in their cheerleading...those of you who are breezing through this are the minority...trust me. We could stand to be a little gentler with one another.

I wish all of you much luck and love...this is harder than I was ever told it would be. I'll say again that I don't regret this decision, I just wish I'd been better prepared. The only thing I ever heard was 'you'll have to do the work, the band is only a tool.' Well, DUH! But HOW much work was never specified. I don't think it's too much to ask to be properly and honestly informed. If it weren't for this site, I would've been completely lost.

Best to all.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

If I were more faint of heart your post would almost make me feel guilty for 1. Expecting to be hungry when I can't have any food, just liquids, for several weeks, 2. Expecting the scale not to move right away since I was told AVERAGE 1-2 pounds a week loss once one has restriction 3. Not feeling at all depressed since I knew going in to the surgery I wouldn't have the same "relationship" with food that I did before.

I feel that it's all a part of education....I had a long time to talk myself into and out of the band before my insurance paid. I read several books in addition to going to my surgeon's seminar, and I asked him tons of questions. I am NOT saying everyone should do that. We're all different. But I paid a big chunk out of my own pocket to cover deductibles and catastophic caps, plus I was having an artificial device placed around my stomach, so I wanted to KNOW as best I could what to expect. When I was told that the band is just a tool, I believed that...not that it would miraculously make me drop pounds like Water, not that it would be easy, not that I could eat everything I ever did and lose.

I think many people are being rushed through...psych consults are a joke, nutritionist the same, surgeons must gloss over the hard parts. I think that's a darned shame. I'd hate to think anyone got the surgery under false pretenses, and it is vile to think people are out there hungry and depressed when they truly didn't expect such a drastic change! That isn't right! It helps to have an idea of what to expect post op BEFORE you let your doctor go in with the band.

Surgeons can have their own spin, in my opinion. I understand why it was important that I not eat chicken during week 2, I knew why my doctor said no caffeine and why he didn't want us even having Protein until the second week. I am the type to question authority, so I got good answers before I complied. But most surgeons/clinics need to do a MUCH better job at education and preparation. That's my take on it.

[salome000 0]

Agreed, sister! I certainly didn't mean to inspire guilt...you had a proper experience and knew the questions to ask. I knew nothing, had no idea what to ask and had proverbial 'stars in my eyes'. While there is a certain amount of personal responsibility, the docs should know they're dealing with people who have failed more often than not and when they don't elaborate or anticipate (and they should...they're damn well paid enough) then the chance of failure is enormous.

As for your points about hunger and weight loss, perhaps your doc was different. My doc (and apparently MANY others) said the following: "There's only a small pouch and you'll fill up quickly." Was I supposed to assume I'd be starving day in and out? Doc-"Expect only 1-2 pounds a week weight loss but listen to this patient's story (which was 30 pounds in the first month) and look at all of these pics where these women dropped 100 pounds the first year."

Sorry...he had me at '30 pounds the first month.

As for books to read...that's the first I heard of them.

When you walk in, you're bombarded with pics and stories of these fat people who are now slender, healthy and happy...I heard and read the word 'miracle' numerous times. Maybe I'm the fool, but like most overweight people, I STILL believe anything that promises to get me out of this fat suit.

Again...no guilt trip intended. I know you post a lot, RM, and you've been successful. I don't think you're overboard. I DO think we have some posters that DO tend to take it a bit too far with the 'I'm doing great and if you're not, then you're a loser'. Let's face it...if you're that damn good, then why did you need the band in the first place??? Just sayin...

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I really do place MOST of the blame with the doctors, their seminars, and the nutritionists we (or our insurance) pay big bucks for the experience of. I nosed around and found some books but people should not have to do that....not when there are seminars etc out there. I'm successful...so far! This is hard, it's drastic, it's no quick fix. Even as well informed as I was (and I do believe my surgeon and my own nature combined to cause me to know a LOT about this going in) I didn't follow the preop diet to the letter because while I "kind of" knew it was to SHRINK my liver, I didn't really know what that meant and why a special type diet would DO that. Ergo, TWO surgeries for me. I totally empathize with anyone who says "BUT I didn't KNOW" I believe. I understand. But once you hit that, it's time to educate yourself. Learn about the band .... grab control. Don't expect it to "just happen"...We are each in the driver's seat here...we have to use the tool for it to work.

[salome000 0]

Well said...I agree...we're in the driver's seat. It'll be easier, though, to 'drive' when we know how to do it. That's the great thing about this site and the people on it.

[rodriguezequal 3]

I researched the band for about a year or two before I even went to a seminar. I have a lot of health problems that don't have anything to do with my weight so I wanted to know the good, the bad, and the ugly. Most of the people working at the surgery center that I go to have the band so I have a lot of people to ask and to talk to. Every surgeon has different rules as far as post op and pre op goes. I was on liquids for a week then mushies for a week and then I was allowed to slowly add in solids. Losing weight is hard work. I was depressed before I got my band for so many reasons and have been on meds for it since I was 10...Sometimes just talking to someone can help...I am here if anyone ever needs a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to. Feel free to message me anytime and I will be there to listen and to hold your hand....to just be there for you. Take care and good luck everyone.

Edited October 27, 2008 by rodriguezequal

[accountess 0]

AMEN!!! I somewhat expected the seminar to be a cheerleading session for the surgery. I knew they wanted to get as many people excited about the hundred pound loss. What I didn't expect was to have my pre-op class about dos and don'ts to be with the bypass patients as well. I was told my stomach would be able to hold only half a cup and a few tablespoons would make me full in the beginning. I would lose a lot of weight the first month.

I felt tremendously guilty when I was still hungry after a few bites during the mushy stage. I upped it to half a cup and still hungry. The first week after surgery I lost about a pound a day but, once I hit the foods, it all stopped like a brick wall. I was getting about 750 calories daily and excersizing 5 days a week and still losing nothing. I finally followed suggestions from here and got out of starvation mode and ate more. The weight slowly started coming off. I lost no where near 30 pounds in the first month. The only thing that helped me keep my sanity was gauging my weight-loss to others that had the surgery around the same time.

I was not told that drinking Water after something got stuck would HURT! I was not even really told getting stuck would hurt. I was not told about my band. When I went for my first fill is when they told me I have the APL. That meant nothing to me. I just read a post yesterday about the APL doesn't have as good of track-record as the APS and the APL is for larger patients. What the heck???!!!! My BMI was under 40 when I got the surgery done.

So yes, I am equally frustrated with the lack of education. LBT has been a life-saver. I didn't know what to ask and I thought I was quite educated on the subject. I am still thrilled with my band and have no regrets.

[travelinsnorkel 0]

I agree! I feel kind of like I was given this thing and sent on my way! Yes, I am following the diet and doing what I'm supposed to do, but nothing is being done to help with the psychological aspect. I do see my regular therapist, but she doesn't really know the ins and outs of what I'm going through. I did a TON of research on the band and still don't feel totally prepared. I haven't gotten super hungry, but every day I question, am I doing this right?? I'm eating less than 800 calories a day which I'm fine on, but should I be eating more? I guess I feel like there should be more follow up sessions with nurses and or support people. Good luck everyone!

[brownskin82 0]

It's good to see what everyone is going through. I have not been banded yet but I have been looking at ways to handle my mental aspect with food and with the weight loss. There is soo much to learn about how to live with the band and how to adapt. Your post just inspired me to research more about what happens after surgery. I am going to get a couple of books and talk to more people. I have also looked into joining a Overeaters Annonymous group by my house. Food is an addiction and it is good that we help ourself mentally or else we will end up big again.

[Bino 44]

This is a good post for all people with the band. You have to educate yourself. I read books and many websites and the posts on this site, so I feel I have a good grasp. I knew to expect to be hungry during the liquies stage because I don't have any restriction yet...I learned that from this board.

I'm still trying to educate my husband as to some of the specifics because he doesn't get it eventhough he went to through all the doctor's visits with me.

[coolcrystal 1]

Oh yes, I have used quite a few times "the lap band police will get ya".. lol. You should see some of the responses I have gotten with my "the pre-liquid diet is pointless and old school" comments.

I'm also sick of doctors having different procedures for before and after care. But I'm also tired of people not educating themselves and rushing off to get some quick fix surgery. Heck, I came on this group and kept my mouth shut for quite a while and just researched on here before saying something and researched it online for a solid year before that.

Finding a doctor who actually cares about you is pretty hard too. I got lucky. Mine actually calls me from time to time to check on me and told me little things that most other doctors won't. But, a majority of my info came from this forum.

Here is my answers to these questions:

1-Why am I starving? This isn't magic! Don't expect any long term good restriction until your third fill. Period. Some lucky people get restriction after fill 1 or 2, but that is rare.

2-Why isn't the scale moving? Because you were probably forced to be on a dumb liquid diet for so long your body is going into a starvation mode. Don't look at the scale for at least one month after surgery. Seriously. You are still healing..

3-Why am I depressed? The stupid liquid diet again. Your brain is starving litterally.. once you start getting normal food into your system you will feel better!

I'm not dissing the liquid diet for the first week after surgery, as yes, that is when you should be on liquids, but before and after that, it really is pointless. If anybody would like to argue that with me, feel free to message me privately! :thumbup:

[salome000 0]

Crystal...I agree on the liquid diet...wholeheartedly. I'm always surprised at the 'holier than thou' contingent...if you're doing great, good for you! But it never gives you a reason to be a bitch to others...if you can't say anything nice, get off the thread. Besides...I said it once and I'll say it again...if you're so disciplined, then why did you need the band in the first place? Why were you even fat? Seems like the same people who go on and on about others' lack of discipline are being a bit hypocritical.

[coolcrystal 1]

Crystal...I agree on the liquid diet...wholeheartedly. I'm always surprised at the 'holier than thou' contingent...if you're doing great, good for you! But it never gives you a reason to be a bitch to others...if you can't say anything nice, get off the thread. Besides...I said it once and I'll say it again...if you're so disciplined, then why did you need the band in the first place? Why were you even fat? Seems like the same people who go on and on about others' lack of discipline are being a bit hypocritical.

yep! but what really irritates me is when poeple post that they feel bad because they slipped and had some nacho's or icecream and other bandsters will bash them and be like "why did you get this band if you can't be serious!" UM, hello.. you can have a band and live a pretty normal life. I eat something naughty at least once a week, wether its nacho's or icecream or what not. It doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your life counting calories and not enjoying fun foods.

Or, when people are stuck on a plateau and not losing for a LONG time the first thing people want to say is do you count your calories? do you work out? most of the time the person just needs a fill.

I really just say how I feel on this group. I've had a few arguments but I can back my arguments up with facts.