From full support to none...

[brittneylee 0]

So about two weeks ago my mom came up to me and said that maybe I should think about getting the lap band again... i was going to get it last year, went through insuranace and everything, then she and my sister talked me out of it. So my mom said I should get it, and I had been doing more and more research on it and we decided it was about time I do it. Being overweight is not healthy and it was about time I get healthy! I joined this website a week or so ago and I was completely thrilled I was going to get the surgery done! As my mom, sister, cousin and I were eating this morning, my sister, who is 5'3 120 lbs procedes to tell me that she thinks I am making the wrong decision by going to the extreme of having surgery. She has been fit all of her life and doesnt understand how being overweight prohibits what you do in your everyday life. Then my mom gets into it saying she doesnt think I should do it because I wont be able to really eat anymore. My thoughts on that is I have obviously eaten WAY too much to get to the point of thinking about having weight loss surgery, so eating small amounts is worth it. When you go from having food being a huge staple in your life to it just being there for survival purposes, I am sure it will be a big step. But I really think that is a HUGE payoff! Ya I wont be able to sit there and eat fast food or fatty things like that, but I will be able to go running again, or go on rollercoasters without worrying about the size of the seat! I am so emotional right now with this. Last week I had my whole family's support and today I find out I dont have anyones support but mine....

I don't know what to do.

[GratefulHeart 0]

If your family is like mine, they tend to agree with the "thought of the moment." Since your mom has brought up the subject with you, it's clear that she's thought SOME about it. She was in favor of it with a bit of knowledge. It may be, however, that all of you need to go to a seminar nearby to hear more about what the Lap Band is and does. It will not keep you from making poor food choices, for example. And yes, you will be able to eat. It's a tool, but you still have to make the hard choices and do the hard work. It might be really good for all of you to be more informed before you make any decisions. That way, if you do decide to proceed with Lap Band, you'll be sure inside yourself. Your family will understand your resolve because you have educated yourself on it. If they, too, get some education on what it is and what it really means (it's not magic), they will be better equipped to support you in your efforts.

Bottom line, though, is you have to be so sure that this is the right thing for you, in yourself, that having their support - or not - won't make any difference in your success. You are still the one that has to make all the right food decisions and choices.

There is a lot of information on this site - I would encourage you to read, read, read, as much as you can about it and what it's like the first few weeks and months after the surgery, so that you know in your heart what people are doing to succeed, and are prepared to do that too. Especially listen to those "old timers" who have been at it a while and know emotionally what helps them succeed.

Ask lots of questions! There are lots of folks on this site who would love to help you and support you as much as possible!

[cattoy71 0]

First,

I am so sorry to hear the difficulty you are having with your family.

It is not completely uncommon....many people resist change and are used to us the way we have become.

I can totally relate in some ways.....I was always the largest of my 3 sisters and that is when I was 5'4 and 125 pounds! Over the years, I put on almost 100 (gasp) pounds and dreaded any kind of family gatherings even though my mom has been sick for several years. I always felt different and putting on all that weight made things so much more worse.

My middle sister is a mom of 3, around 5' and under 90 pounds, and my oldest sister is about 5'3 and 120 pounds.

If you click on my icon and look at my pictures, you can kinda see that I actually don't look all that big and was somewhat unsure about getting the surgery.

I am sooooo happy I decided to do it!!! I lost my closest friend recently and was soooo unsure about doing the surgery without his support, but I know that I will be much more sociable when I lose some weight and can more easily get around.

You definately need support to go through with this, and it's entireably possible that the rest of your family will get on board once you've made your final decision.

Good luck, and I'm around if you want to chat.

Edited October 27, 2008 by cattoy71

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Have your mom go with you to a seminar. Surgeons hold them all the time, they should be free. My husband was VERY against the band but went with me and came away a true convert. The surgeon took 30 minutes after his very informative seminar to answer extra questions my husband had. I think a good seminar can help calm your mother and convince her it's a good option for you. Then she and you can "out vote" your sister.

[swiley 0]

So about two weeks ago my mom came up to me and said that maybe I should think about getting the lap band again... i was going to get it last year, went through insuranace and everything, then she and my sister talked me out of it. So my mom said I should get it, and I had been doing more and more research on it and we decided it was about time I do it. Being overweight is not healthy and it was about time I get healthy! I joined this website a week or so ago and I was completely thrilled I was going to get the surgery done! As my mom, sister, cousin and I were eating this morning, my sister, who is 5'3 120 lbs procedes to tell me that she thinks I am making the wrong decision by going to the extreme of having surgery. She has been fit all of her life and doesnt understand how being overweight prohibits what you do in your everyday life. Then my mom gets into it saying she doesnt think I should do it because I wont be able to really eat anymore. My thoughts on that is I have obviously eaten WAY too much to get to the point of thinking about having weight loss surgery, so eating small amounts is worth it. When you go from having food being a huge staple in your life to it just being there for survival purposes, I am sure it will be a big step. But I really think that is a HUGE payoff! Ya I wont be able to sit there and eat fast food or fatty things like that, but I will be able to go running again, or go on rollercoasters without worrying about the size of the seat! I am so emotional right now with this. Last week I had my whole family's support and today I find out I dont have anyones support but mine....

I don't know what to do.

Please do what your heart tells you to do. I have full support from my mom, My sister who is the smallest in the family 5"4 and 150 lbs. Actually said I was stupid for wanting to have the surgery.When She felt I was mad for her saying the word stupid she replied that she didnt think I need it. That I could loose weight the normal way. Only my family knows about the surgery . So I hear the negative comments from the thin ones in the family. My aunt says she would be jealous if I did it. So I am getting vibes like such people want you to stay overweight. Especially if they are smaller than you, But please do what you want to do. Dont let anyone stop you from this. So now I just dont discuss it with any of the family anymore, Only my mom because she has to help me with my kids, You may not know me ,But you have my full support.

[bjperkins54 0]

My husband doesn't want me to have surgery either -- but I told him I needed and wanted his support...but I had researched lapband for a long time and I was going to do it with or without his support. Luckily he is giving me support -- I just got my insurance approval today, so will be scheduling surgery soon. Just be straight with them and tell them you are going to do it == with or without them -- but you sure would love to have them in your corner. It's your life, your body and YOU have to make the decision for YOU....not for your family. My hubby is a skinny little thing and has no clue what being overweight is about -- but he does see how I struggle to lose weight. Be strong and do what YOU need to do for yourself. One more thing....have them read this forum...there is tons of good info here -- and you'll read both the good and bad experiences...but it is informational and i've asked my husband to read this forum too.

Edited October 27, 2008 by bjperkins54