Honesty

[DeLarla 22]

I had a long chat with my surgeon about honesty. I'm brutally honest with him, even though I feel like crawling under the table and pulling a hospital gown over my head. The think I admire most about my surgeon is that he doesn't hold back or take any crap (lies) when it comes to food choices. You can't get anything past him.

I was crying in his office because I felt like such a failure having gained back 8 of the 70 pounds I lost. I thought, based on his hardcore nature, that he'd be stearn with me, but instead he told me to focus on the incredible job that I've done so far and work on accepting who I am now. That made me feel really great.

I'm trying to write this without being judgmental or critical, but he pointed out that most overweight people are very dishonest because they don't come clean with him, and the numbers simply don't lie. If everyone ate like perfect bandsters, we'd all be skinny now.

My meeting was very long and emotional. Telling him all my dirty food secrets was humiliating and exhausting. He doesn't hug me or baby me, but I can honestly say that man cares about me. My point to this thread is that if you aren't 100% honest with your doctor, then no fill amount in the entire world will ever be able to help you.

I went there to discuss getting a new port. He said I could have one if I wanted, but I don't want one. I have plenty of daytime restriction. Our decision was for me to start working on loving myself for who I am, accepting that I've lost a whopping 60 pounds, and just maintaining that loss. I left his office feeling a lot of relief, so I urge you all to tell your doctors everything, regardless of how embarrassing.

[La_madam 20]

the numbers simply don't lie.

What a true statement.

Lisa, It thanks for this post. I admire you for starting it.

I'm very happy to hear you finally have a doctor who truly cares about you. You have been through so much. It's awesome you can be so honest with him and not be ashamed or in fear he will be upset with you.

You do need to be proud of your accomplishment thus far. Losing 60 lbs with no fill, no port is truly amazing, you are doing something right.

Absolutely none of us eat like perfect bandsters or all of us would be at goal by now. I know for myself I struggle on a regular basis. I wake up every morning with a renewed desire to eat healthy, but never seem to make it through the day. It's rare I eat like a perfect bandster for an entire day.

I know we have had our differences but I want you to know I truly wish you the best and am so glad you are feeling better about your situation.

[MeganA 35]

Lisa,

thank you thank you thank you. I needed this post. I've been struggling the last few weeks and wasn't sure what I should do. Now I know what I need to do- I need to have an honest conversation with my surgeon.

I don't wanna. I want to stay in denial and swear at my band for not working and maybe needing another fill. I was told by my surgeon at my last fill that he needed to move my port so it was easier to access. I was hoping that I wouldn't need another fill again so I didn't have to go through that. Now I am hungry all the time, and over eat because I'm hungry. When I'm properly filled I forget to eat, rarely think about- much less fantasize- about food. But I'm restricted enough to PB and to have to really watch myself. It's such a fine line when you get so close to the sweetspot...

I've been struggling with beating myself up, taking my band for granted, drinking with my meals, and snacking. I started my new job two weeks ago and I have gained three pounds a week even though I am trying to bring lunch every day. I have spent the last year and a half avoiding fast food places and all of a sudden they are all I see.

Oh my gosh, I just realized I hijacked your post, Lisa. Sorry about that!!! Thank you so much for always telling us the truth about what you are going through. You are so brave to be so honest with your surgeon, and I'm going to try to live up to your example. I'm calling my surgeons office tomorrow and scheduling a consultation and surgery appt.

Thanks again, Lisa. You rock.

Megan

[rene2005 0]

I'm sorry that you gained some weight and glad you shared it with us. I looked the other day at your picture and you don't even look 30 yrs old!! Just telling you now cause that would be upsetting to gain but its true you look sooo young.

[dylansmom 27]

Thank you for sharing this. You are always an amazing inspiration, and it's so refreshing to hear about your honesty with your surgeon.

I'm very proud of you for everything that you did, and I'm here cheering you on girl. Keep up the great work, and know that I'll always be here to root you on!

[the best me 6]

You, dear DeLarla, just had a great milestone in your weight loss journey. Don't forget the lessons you have learned about your doctor and about yourself. My guess is you will lean on this time after time as you learn and grow as a person. Thanks for this great thread. Thanks for sharing with us so freely and helping us ALL to grow...thinner, that is! You DO Rock!!

[DeLarla 22]

I came back here to delete this thread, which is another internal issue that I struggle with. I often write something, then later I feel really stupid for writing it. But I've got Band cops watching me who are helping me overcome my need to delete my own threads. Anyway, I came back to delete this, but after tearfully reading these responses, I'll let it ride.

I almost wish I'd have taped my discussion with him because it's too complicated and twisted to repeat; he kept bringing up "calories" while I kept crying, "addiction." He'd ask me about a portion size and I'd sob back, "the entire bag." I honestly thought he was going to send me packing to the ER so he could remove the Band before I hurt myself, but somewhere within that hour we found a middle ground that we could both agree on.

For now, all I need to do is "be aware" of what I'm consuming while focusing on my achievements and be willing to accept the circumstances of my choices. He actually wrote me a prescription to purchase a book that doesn't even have words in it. It's a book of food pictures (serving sizes.) I don't have the name handy, but I'll try to find it on-line tomorrow. I'm also ISO a good therapist to deal with my food issues, however, the eating disorder specialists I've seen over the years don't have a clue. When I tell them how much and what I eat, they stare at me in amazement, as if I'm a Lifetime special. Anyone know a good shrinky-dink in Vegas? I think a psycho-therapist should be included with the price of the band.

Thanks right back at you all for keeping it real.

[DeLarla 22]

Megan said, "But I'm restricted enough to PB and to have to really watch myself. It's such a fine line when you get so close to the sweetspot..."

I read this sentence 5 times. If you still PB, then a fill isn't your answer. Billy said a new port would be much less expensive than I imagined. He's thinking between $1000 and $2500, and his staff will call me when he knows exactly. If they tell me $1000, that's something I could add to my already-whopping credit card, but I won't do it. I will not get a port as long as I'm still PBing from time to time. Yesterday morning I PB'd my tiny thyroid pill - I don't think I need a port.

Megan, that wasn't a hijack, just another badly needed eye-opener. My new morning mantra: "I'm restricted enough to PB, I don't need a fill."

[hagerteresa 3]

Hey Lisa,

Glad you got back in to see the doc. I know how frustrating it can be. I have maintained a steady plateau for a few months now. I just try to ignore it and not think about it. You have done a wonderful job and you should feel very proud. Best wishes, Teresa

P.S. You still got me beat by weighing a good twenty pounds under me...

[the best me 6]

Okay, fine time for me to be honest, I'm scheduled for my first fill tomorrow! I should be in bed

So I don't PB, haven't in weeks and weeks and weeks. I am 12, almost 13 weeks banded. I DO, howwever, occasionally get stuck. I have some restriction, true, or I wouldn't get stuck when I eat too fast/too big/don't chew well.

But my weight loss is basically nil since day 12 post-op. DAY 12, mind you. Talk about honesty, what the heck have I been eating?! If it were that great, I'd be losing, right?

To fill, or not to fill? ROAD TRIP!! I'm going but I'm coming back being much more honest with myself about what I allow myself to eat and without the desperate "pushing my band" tendency.

I love honesty. Thanks!

[La_madam 20]

It's a book of food pictures (serving sizes.)

Is the book called "Picture Perfect Weight Loss"?

I know Donali mentioned this book in one of her threads..

[bobby_hamrick 0]

you are right. Fix the source...and come on 70lbs/ that is no small thing girl

thanks your post hit a nerve here too

[Alexandra 55]

Lisa, I'm so glad you have a competent doctor you trust! That sort of ally is the best thing we can have. Your post is important truth for all of us. Thank you!

[Iluvharleys 15]

Lisa, I'm so glad you have a competent doctor you trust! That sort of ally is the best thing we can have. Your post is important truth for all of us. Thank you!

I totally agree! Thanks for the post, it really does make everyone sit up and think!

[gordonfamily3 0]

As a newbie you have really made me think. I thought I was doing good at least I feel I am still loosing each week. So it just makes me think now more the ever. The food journal is helping me I just need to stick to it and be honest with everything I put in my mouth.

Thanks for making me think...I know it will help me in the long haul. I hope to be up with you at the 60 - 70 pound weight lost. :-)

You inspire so many.