Talking to skinny friends about WLS

[Babe 0]

I've decided to get the surgery (YAY ME!), but during this whole researching and deciding process I've told no one I know (except my GP and shrink) that I was thinking about it. All my close friends are healthy normal weights and I'm not sure how they'd react or if they'd even understand. It's really difficult not being able to talk to my best friends about something so major in my life. How did other's deal with this?

[Roxy Roman 0]

Like you I also have skinny friends and with lots of love I call them skinny bitches LOL so I just told them and they understood specially my best friend she was happy because she knew what this means to me and this will make me healthier. So be honest and explain to them what this mean to you and they will understand and if they don't just remember this is your decision and you doing it for yourself to them.

Good Luck!!!

[luigismama 0]

As I'm sure anyone here will tell you, this is a very personal decision. I chose to tell my husband, some of his family, and 3 friends- that's it. I didn't want to get into a drawn out discussion about how I should be able to do it on my own, just exercise and diet, etc. And I ended up losing one of my friends- my biggest friend- because she thought I was getting the surgery because I was jealous of her. Everyone else I tell I'm watching my portions (true) and exercising (also true).

Just keep in mind that this decision is for you and you alone. You have the right to tell whomever you wish, and you might be surprised that some of your skinny friends might be your biggest supporters. Good luck on your journey, and keep us posted how it's going!

[trayrenee 0]

I think you'd be surprised at how supportive your skinny friends might be. I am very open about my upcoming surgery -- and even my skinniest of friends are so excited and want to know every little detail. They have all been around for my weight loss up and downs. So if they are truly close to you -- I'm sure they'll surprise you! Good luck.

[Sarah.R 2]

I think it depends more on your age bracket as well, I'm20 and I've read numerous accounts of others on the teen part where there friends have been annoyed at them, mainly because they've known them this whole time as one person and there changing that, I think in your case cuz your older it'll probably be way easier to tell your friends/family etc

[Jachut 487]

I had nothing but support from all of my thinner friends. The only time I've had a barbed remark made it was a) from someone that I wouldnt call a close friend and :eek: that person had rather a large weight problem themself. Jealousy I'd suspect.

Many thin people work hard at their weight too and know just why you'd want to win the battle.

I have been surprised to learn this week that two of Eliza's friends mothers whom I assumed have always been thin have both had large weight losses - like 80lb or more themselves!

[luckyfive101 6]

I didn't tell anyone but my husband and my sons at first. AFTER I had surgery, I told my mom (who was the worst critic there is.. actually called me "ignorant")... I guess I am the exception to the rules.. Don't think I have any skinny friends.. All my family and all my friends are big... The slack I get, I believe, comes from jealousy on their part because they couldn't or are not "adventurous" enough to do something for their own problems. Hang in there! ONE DAY, WE WILL BE THE "SKINNY FRIEND" LOL!

[KarenG. 0]

This is a good thread. I told only my closest friends at first. Even now some of my more extended relatives don't really know for sure. My main concern (and it proved true) is that people would be watching me for weight loss and constanly asking me how it was going. To them they were trying to be supportive - to me it added stress. In the end I was lucky because the weight came off pretty easily and I was glad that I had support of my friends. Also, it is hard to hide changed eating habits (like liquid diet, no bread) so if was easier to relax on a night out and not to have to worry about eating really slowly or very little.

[janesays 2]

I totally understand what you are going through. I'd say about 99% of my friends are of a healthy weight, some of them even too skinny in my opinion! However, I have only told one of my friends -- my best friend -- and I am so glad I did. She is supporting me 100% but it is hard because we no longer live in the same town. I of course also told my mom, my stepdad, and my brother, and there are a few others because of them that know (hair dresser included -- she was banded 5 years ago), but ultimately, it was the toughest decision for me to NOT tell my other close friends. Sometimes we realize that it is just better to keep some things to ourselves. I did, however, promise myself that I would never lie to my close friends about it, so in the meantime I plan on telling them that I am simply eating less or watching what I eat-- no breads and such. When the moment is right, or if I feel that I really need their support, I will confide in them. If they inquire about WLS or perhaps one day even decide they need it for themselves, I will of course fess up.

Otherwise, I have found all the support I need on this very website!

Another thing I found helpful was going to my hospital's support group meeting for patients with the lapband. You should really look into seeing if your hospital has one. It was a totally different experience talking one on one with people who have the same problems, and people who are a few months ahead of me in the process! On the plus side, they are also nearby, so a couple of new friends are possible too.

Good luck!

[kimmyv 0]

Of those I have told-- none of which have weight issues-- have all been very supportive. They have seen me struggle with my weight for a long time and know why I have chosen to go this route. I have not told my best friend or any of my immediate family though.....

My best friend has never been the most positive or supportive person of my weight loss struggle. She thinks if I really wanted to lose the weight then I would but I just don't want it bad enough. Obviously we all know on here that isn't the truth....

And my mom is just too judgmental and has no idea-- She is of the same mind set that I just haven't wanted it or tried enough. And thinks being thin=happiness-but I have told her I am happy- I have everythng I could ever want but my health.

You choose who you want to tell--- in the end you'll have the last laugh.

[Laurinda 1]

I got the greatest support from my thinner friends. It was the heavier ones that seemed (and still do) to give me some grief.

[laurigee 545]

I wouldn't tell anyone except close family members if I were to do it again. I told some friends (thin and thick) and as I started losing weight, when people started talking one of them slipped and mentioned my lap band. Now I get snotty comments from people saying "If I had the money, I could be thin to". Or from the thin ones thinking that I don't work as hard as them to stay that way. When people ask me how I lost the weight I tell them exercise and eating less(which is the truth), I will get people who roll their eyes because they know I have the lap band. So I guess my point is if you tell anyone don't be mad if someone slips and says something where more people know than you expected. For me, I feel better and healthier so I guess thats all that really matters.

[sistasassy 6]

I have received more support from my skinny friends than my heavy ones. The skinny ones actually are excited and counting down the days with me. The heavy ones (except for two) are silent and a bit distant. Some have even been ugly in how "awful" that I would do something like this.

Yeah! How awful that I would try to be thin and healthy. I am such a bad person.:thumbup: I know they are jealous and feeling threatened and I just love them anyway. They are my friends and I know that deep in their hearts they wish it was them so I am not being to hard on them.

[grannytwinkie 0]

In the beginning I told only a couple close friends and my significant other. Guess who told everyone else?? That's right my significant other! So everyone pretty much knows. I haven't had my first fill yet so I am not losing much, since I have no restriction. So living up to expectations is getting to be a bore! I am watching what I eat, but if I slip, then I slip and move on. I have lost 23 pounds, but pretty much at a stand still now and having everyone ask how much I have lost is annoying. If I could have done this and not told anyone I would have.

[shassy 0]

My sister, who has at her very most---while pregnant---was like 130......I have always been the "fat" sister....When I told my family, including my sister that I was thinking about having the surgery, they were all for it and very supportive. At first my interpretation of that was negative as I thought that it meant they were sick of my "fattness"....but I have come to realize that they just want me to do what I believe is best for me.....Now my sister is my biggest supporter in this, and I am glad I shared. I tell everyone who asks and even some that don't---I think that helps put some of my shame back on the shelf......We don't need to be ashamed......