someone please help

[sirvine89 0]

im gunna cry. i got my surgery on aug.14 of 2008. ive only lost 20 lbs. yes i know why. because i cant drag my fat ass to the gym. only to mcdonalds(where i ate 2 quater pounders-and yes after that i got an adjustment but im still able to eat 2 slices of pizza) i know everyone is looking at the screen like "what the hell is wrong with you" and before i got the surgery and i would hear people saying how they eat this and they eat that i thought they were crazy because you have so much time to prepare for this surgery. but thats not the case. im one of those people now. i dont know what to do. im 19 yrs old so im always out with my friends which is why i eat out everyday because when you're with your friends who wants to go home to make grilled chicken? and my friends are really supportive-they struggle with food just how i do. im just so angry with myself i dont know whats wrong with me. this morning i made 1 scrambled egg on a peice of toast and yogurt with granola. so that was good. i just have my downfalls at night. i need help i need any advice because i feel like i went through all of this for nothing. someone please help!!!!

[polly558 0]

I haven't even had my surgery yet so I am by no means an expert but... first STOP kicking your self!

secondly get in touch with your surgeon, do you need a fill?

Maybe call a nutritional specialist and a therapist...

But most importantly STOP beating your self up!!!

[sharmom 7]

20 lbs is ok the hamburgers not ok. I am surprised you could swallow that much I was banded 9/28 and have only lost 12 lbs. Are you driniking enough Water. DONT be so hard on yourself. I am having problems with getting off my butt and walking. Next time you want burgers just eat the meat part. Dont give up you have come to far. Some people need adjustments when they are able to eat that much. Chin up. Go to the doc and get a fill.

[JeepGal 0]

Here's what I would do. I would make a new goal to not eat anything while with friends. If they go out to eat, just get a Water and drink it and enjoy their company. Sneaking food in is so easily done, so just quitting the snacking, I find is the easiest way to address it. Also be sure to stick to the band rules! I called my Dr Office and got a list for ya (your Dr's list might be different)

1.Eat only 3 small meals a day

2.Eat slowly and chew throughly (15-20 times a bite)

3.Stope eating as soon as you feel full.

4.Do not drink while eating

5.Do not eat between meals

6.Eat only good quality food. solid food is more important than liquid foods. Infact, the band will have no effect if you only consume liquids

7.Avoid fibrous foods.

8.Drink at least 6-8 glasses of Water per day

9.Drink only low cal liquids

10. Exercise Daily

Next, GIRL, you need to get your ass off the couch! LoL Think about when you do start losing the weight. Do you want your body to look all nasty and hangy? NO! you wanna look freakin hot and exercise is a MUST for that. Thinking about that usually helps me. Another thing I do is when a freind is telling me about their weight issues (which happens often) I say to them, "Hey let's work out once or twice a week together. Nothing hard, just walking for 20-30 minutes." I have three work out partners I meet up with once a week. It provides me motivation, that I don't have to come up with myself, and I get to enjoy some one on one time with my friends. :thumbup: In fact, one of the gals I work with is losing weight and we have decided to run a marathon in April and three other co-workers have joined in. We work out indivudually during the week then on Sat we run together. I strongly encourage you to find work out buddies. (I even found a gal in my area from this site to work out with)

You can also journal what you are eating on a few websites. Here are a few that I like and my trainer gave me. sparkpeople.com myfitnesspal.com and MyPyramid.gov - United States Department of Agriculture - Home If you start looking at exactly what you are putting in your mouth it will be come apparent that you either need a fill or you are slacking.

Not to be harsh, but I'm trying to be honest with you. It sounds like you are slacking in a major way. (also you do NOT have enough restriction) I think if you could find some ways to motivate yourself you'll have more sucess. This band is not an "easy button" it's just to help you. Look at what you think would motivate you and try it out. You are learning a new lifestyle with this band! You should work hard to make sure it's full of the right choices.

Anyway, best of luck! God knows I still have a lot to work on with my diet, I really didn't mean to get on a soap box! I'm just trying to help with some ideas for you.

Keep us posted on how it works out for ya.

[amberstar 1]

I was banded on 8/25 and I've lost 18lbs. I have my bad days and good days just like you! Do not get down on yourself. If you have a bad night and eat something aweful, just start over in the morning and try to do better. You're only human. Good luck with everything! There are others right there with ya, you are not alone!

[snowbird 2]

This isn't so much about willpower as it is about restriction. There is no way you should be able to eat one quarterpounder, let alone 2. Get a fill! I haven't had a fill since last January, and I couldn't eat even a half of a quarterpounder right now. You have to make the band work for you, and right now, it isn't.

[Cleo's Mom 257]

I'm with those who are telling you to stop beating yourself up. You already know what the right things to do are. The portion size, the chewing, exercise, etc... But you're hungry and you want the food that tastes good to you. So you eat it. You may need another adjustment - ask your surgeon. But if you can - buy a treadmill. Maybe your parents can help? For what you'd pay for a gym membership there shouldn't be much difference in cost. Everyone is different about the approach they take to exercise. If I had to go to a gym I know I wouldn't go. Others love gyms. I have a treadmill, it is there in my familyroom and I can go on anytime it is convienent to me and watch TV at the same time. Maybe you'd prefer to listen to music. I also bought some dumbell weights 5-15 lbs. Don't spend a lot of money on a treadmill - you just need the basics - adjust speed and incline. I have used mine for almost 7 years. You've done well so far. You just need a little encouragement and possibly another fill. Good luck and take care.

[karen_karen 0]

look im going to be blunt. excerise and eat the right foods. you got something good your youth your metabolism is way higher then a 30 or 40 year old plus you havent had a child. dont sit here dwelling on what you did fix it make it right. you cant change the way your friends eat but i sure tell you if your friends see you taking this seriously then you will prob have your friends eating the same way sooner or later. you have a chance to change your life for the good and sabotaging yourself is not a good idea. everyday will be a struggle and everyday your going to want to eat that extra burger but you have to think about it as what are you gaining from eating it instead grab some apples mcdonalds has apples with carmel just eat the apples. they even have salads or wraps. im not saying its the best option but you have to work with what your given. you made the easiest decision on getting the band now its the hard part and that is changing your lifestyle excerise excerise excerise. i dont even like excerising but i do it because i know i dont want to be 265 lbs again and i think about 3 months ago and here i am weighing 211 and i keep thinking wow i lost more then what my oldest child weighs. i saw in a post where they said go see what pork loin looks like when you have 75lbs of it. i say go look at what you want to lose and then go ask for that at the counter to see how much meat that is. do you want to carry that around with you or do you want to get rid of it.

[Kalipso2 25]

when i go out to eat with my friends, i don't order anything. they let me pick off their plates. that way i don't worry about eating a whole meal. 2 pieces of pizza isn't too bad... i can't eat pizza at all... but it could be you need another fill!

unfortunately eating right and exercise is the only way the band is going to work to it's best ability. find something you REALLY enjoy. i decided i wanted to run. now, i haven't ran in years. i found a trainer to give me tips on what i need to know and she said to take it slow.

if i can only run for 2 minutes... that's fine. tomorrow try for 3 minutes and eventually i'll be running a 5k race.

[sharmom 7]

WOW That inspired me!! THANKS

[laurigee 545]

I hate to say it but with all the fills I have gotten, which I am at 3.9cc in my 4cc band I have always been able to eat more than everyone with no feeling of being full. I have found that it is up to me, not just the band to do the work. I think to many people think this is the magic bullet that is going to do all the work for them, even though we are told that it takes hard work I don't think people believe that. You sound like maybe you want the band to do the work for you. SORRY, if your waiting, its not going to happen. Your young you have only yourself to take care of right now, CHANGE NOW, it only gets harder as you get older and have more responsiblilities and even more excuses to give yourself. Trust me, I have taken a long time to lose my weight and am still not there. I know what it means to make mistakes. I make them on a regular basis, but I never make excuses or lose focus of my big picture. Which is health and strength just as much as weight loss. Which takes exercise. DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP, WE ALL SLIP. REGROUP! My favorite quote is "NEVER CONFUSE A SINGLE DEFEAT WITH A FINAL DEFEAT." YOU CAN DO IT! We all like how the "forbidden foods" taste. You just have to eat more of the good than bad. Truthfully, if I exercise my 5 days like I'm suppose to I let myself have a day that I can have something "naughty". It gets me through the week. If you need anything even want to just chat private message me and I will give you my phone number. I really believe in you, now you need to start believing in yourself. GOOD LUCK

[gentylwind 1]

Self Indulgence Vs. Self Kindness

Self Indulgence is:

-Continuing to do what is harmful to you after you realize it's harmful

-Loathing yourself

-Getting lost in fantasies about how great your life is going to be, while you continue doing the same old self-destructive things

-Not asking for help when you need it

-Breaking the commitments you have made to yourself.

Self-Kindness is:

-Calling a halt to doing what is harmful to you

-Defending yourself against anyone who attacks you -including yourself

-Telling the truth

-Asking for help

-Resting when you need rest

-Believing that there is a good reason for what you are doing, even if you aren't aware of it at the moment

The only way to learn the difference between self-indulgence and self-kindness is to experience what self-kindness feels like.

Ultimately YOU are responsible for what goes into your mouth. McDonald's has healthier options than two quarter pounders. You can't blame your friends for that. Have you ever asked them if you can go somewhere healthier to eat? Try sushi, try vegetarian, go to funky in-vogue "green" restaurants. And then MAKE GOOD CHOICES. You do sound like you thought the band would just stop you from eating. Only you can do that.

Give yourself credit. 20 pounds is a lot of weight to lose. I walked around for a LONG TIME only needing to lose 20 pounds and could not bring myself to do it. 20 pounds matters.

Get out and walk. It is a beautiful time of year to be out of doors. Practice thin behaviors now. Don't wait until you are thin. Ask yourself what you would do at McDonald's if you were the "you" you picture in your head at the end of this weight loss journey and make the choices THAT girl would make. When sitting home watching TV or listening to music catch yourself and ask how long if you were thin you would envision just sitting there, stay for that amount of time and then go do whatever the "thin" you would be up to.

It isn't going to just happen sweetheart. Realign your thinking. You hold ALL the power here. That is the good news. Nothing can happen to you without your permission in regards to your weight.

[angcal26 2]

Hey I read this and thought OMG That person needs help!!! It seems like the advice you have gotten here is good all good!! PLease remember why you had the surgery in the first place. You want to change your life and be healthy, you are so young and have a full life to live. If I could have done this surgery sooner I would have. But take care of yourself you are the only one who can do it and do it right. Get the help mentally, physicallly and you will turn this around. First get a fill asap and tell your doctor everything! If they are a good doctor they will help you. I am routing for you because you deserve to be fit and healthy and You must remember that YOU are in charge now no one else. I hope that you get past this hill and move on because you can do it and even though I don't know you I am sending you my love and support to get through this bump. Keep your faith and keep your head together and remember that sometimes friends will get jealous when you start to succeed and then you have a choice of keeping them around or just plainly moving on and UP without them. Good Luck and keep in touch with your progress. And by the way every 10 pounds is a clothing size.

Keep your head up. Andrea

[jleemc 0]

I agree the band is only a tool, but it is a big part of your weight loss and it sounds like up definately need a fill. Exercise is great but if you are 250 plus pounds and was eating as much as I was prior to being banded--and your band is tight enough--you should lose weight by simply lying in bed and eat 1/2 of what you ate before. This is a new way of life and if you want to eat some hamberger you should be able to---BUT 1/2 jr burger should be enough--not 2 burgers. That's my point--your band is not tight enough. If any of us could have gotten our lazy asses off the couch we would not have needed the band in the first place. Self control is lacking in all fat people--thus the band is your weapon and it's got to be working right.

I think your doing great. It's hard being you age and going out with friends. Just keep trying AND make an appointment.

[angcal26 2]

I disagree with jleemc I am 40 yrs old and started at 308 lbs i lost 45 so far, I work out and watch what I put in my mouth. you have to make sure the band is giving you restriction not too tight and not too loose. BUT DO NOT feel that you can eat anything you want for example a burger at McDonalds that is BAD you can have a burger but make it your self do not buy crap at a fat oops fast food place. You should try and stay out of there as much as possible!!! Trust me it can only do harm you must be committed to yourself and the band will work, Talk to a nutritionist asap and get on an eating plan and go out and walk walk walk. Good luck!!! Andrea:thumbup: