Having a really rough time!!!!

["Nita 0]

OK, almost three weeks out and this is really hard. I am fighting not only the head hunger which is horrible but actual hunger too. I have found that I am way more obsessed with food than I ever imagined I was. I am so sick of bland looking bland tasting mushy food and as stupid as it sounds.....I am truly grieving the loss of junk food and of eating as much of as many things as I can eat. In my head, I know this is dumb since that habit is what got me where I am but I feel like I've lost a friend.

Yesterday we had to go to two different family Fourth of July parties. Well, I tried to take the focus off the food and enjoy visiting with everyone and relaxing but all I could focus on was the constant eating by everyone but me. It wasn't as if there was a meal then socializing. People ate the entire day. chicken, ribs, sausages, chips you name it and it was in the hand or mouth of whoever I was sitting by, standing near, or talking too. I was miserable. I actually cried when I got home. How pitiful is that???? I just feel disgusted with myself that food is this important to me. I am still sad and weepy today over all the food I wish I could eat instead of this mush. I really never expected to feel or act this way.

[leatha_g 4]

It is a tough time to be restricting your intake during holidays. Just think, you didn't go home overstuffed and feeling guilty for all the damage you did to yourself. It's still early and you'll feel much better when you can actually participate in the eating, just using more discretion and having lesser amounts. In a few months, you'll be so ecstatic about your weight loss that this will only be a memory. Hugs to you in the difficult stage.

Remember, NOTHING tastes as good as being Thinner feels...

[gordonfamily3 0]

I am so sorry...we were banded aound the same time and I luckly have been able to start soft foods..not just mushie. It does help my family is very supportive. All weekend they asked me if I could go somewhere before they made plans. Hang in there...it has to get better. :-)

Good Luck!!! Just remember it will all be worth it in the end...

If it helps..I just had a wonderful Protein smoothie...I used powders?utm_source=BariatricPal&utm_medium=Affiliate&utm_campaign=CommentLink" target="_ad" data-id="1" >unjury Choc, 8 oz milk, 3 frozen strawberries, 1/4 cup pineapple, 3 ice cubes...mix in my magic bullet and yummy....

Again good luck...

[the best me 6]

I'm sorry Nita, I went to a picnic sunday and felt the same way...well, maybe not as bad as you felt! but I got a good nudge of regret because there were SOOOO many yummy things I wanted to eat! Now, I'm on solids and eating regular foods, so that helps ALOT but I was a little surprised at my feelings of regret.

But, you know what? A day later and I had forgotten all about those yummy foods I missed until I read your post! LOL Plus, they are no longer right in front of me. That helps alot.

When you are eating solids like a pro, it WILL be a bit easier. You just get very picky so you can get the foods you REALLY want, and not just plates full of whatever.

It will get better. I'm sorry you are frustrated!

[vinesqueen 2]

'Nita honey! I'm so sorry you had such a rough time! Our socity sure is food centric, maybe it is just human nature to socialize with food.

My first question to you is why the heck are you eating bland and boring food? Do a search on the food thread for mushines, and look at the ethnic mushy food thread. Take a trip to the deli counter and look at all the wonderful pate` choices. Humis comes in at least 6 different flavors too.

Nothing bland about chili, and get out your crockpot cookbook.

[paula 4]

Nita,

so sorry for you being so down!

It does get better - once you get that fill, the hunger will cool down.

Weeks 3 and 4 are sooo hard.

In the meantime, Im not sure if this is an option for you, but Ive heard that some doctors prescribe diet pills during this pre-fill phase.

[lljpaisley 0]

I had a similar problem this weekend. I went to visit my sister and her family at her summer house. We arrived at 11am and she was just sitting down to breakfast! I had eaten at 8am. I knew I was in for trouble. She said we would have a later lunch. Well at 3pm i asked her if we could have lunch because I was hungry. She asked if I could wait a bit. I told her that I could have a Protein Shake but then i wouldn't be hungry for the special Soup she made me (I am still on full liquids). Long story short, I ended up eating alone which I really didn't want to do. Personally I think she sabotagued me because she was really against the surgery. I can't wait until I can eat with others (I live alone).

["Nita 0]

thank you all so much. I have my grocery list in hand and will make this next week of mushies more varied and tasty!!!

I am feeling less down now although I still can't think about buffalo wings or chicken nuggets without wanting to cry!!!! I wish I cold just stop thinking about them all together but that seems to be like when you get some stupid song stuck in your head that you just can't get outta there!

8 more days of mushies to go. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can......LOL (anyone else remember The Little Engine That Could? lol...I think that was the name of that book anyway.)

[soonergirl 0]

Nita,

I can totally relate - I am 6 days out and have just been on Clear liquids - Last night I was trying to relax and go to sleep, the insanity of this diet finally kicked in. I just started laughing uncontrollably. My DH was like - what the hell is that funny at 11:30 out of no where -

I asked him - how do you think maccaroni and cheese would taste in the blender - He was like - WHAT?? then I him that I caught myself drifting off thinking of all of the things I could put in the blender next week for my mushy stage.

Luckly the dietician said that I could go on full liquids and creamy Soups today. Man, i am losing it!! (oh ya, not just my mind - a few pounds too 4.5 in 6 days)

[Guest Molly Mitchell]

Nita and all the others: I was interested in your experience with having a tough time at the 4th of July party. Today, after my surgery of 6/21/05, I'm going to a party at work (first time since the surgery). I've found out what's on the menu (and their are some things I can have) but I know that I have to carefully limit the amount and the consistently and to eat slowly. I'm planning not to grieve over what I can't have (and hope I can keep to it). It helps that so many people are interested in what I'm experiencing. I'm sure they will have a lot of questions. It's likely I'll spend most of the time answering their questions. I've even started a Blog about this process because so many people have been asking me what my experiences have been (http://lapbandexperience.blogsource.com). The point of all of this is: I've been announcing to the world what I've done and that automatically sets up a support group (except for those who would have tried to sabotage you anyway. I prefer to stay away from them as much as possible). Instead of being a food-deprived martyr, pretend to be a brave martyr that shows the world how strong you can be and go against the grain of what our culture has been doing to us (encouraging us to shove food down our throats). Be the superior person. I've also gone back to writing a Weight Watchers diary, keeping my point count to 20 per day (approx. 1000 cals).

I'm considering rejoining our Watcher's group to get an other support group. This is a learning process. Be open to the learning process of how to handle ourselves (not even this operation is a magic bullet-we can screw this up. I've seen it). Good luck and God Bless. RenoNative

[lins12 0]

I am a month out today and I can totally relate. For me it has not been as much about the actual food but the fact that my best friend has gone away. I have out of control emotions that I never knew I had...rage, for example. I just don't know what to do when I get anxiety or emotions that I cannot control. I used to eat to stuff them. Or when I want to Celebrate or just give myself a treat.

This is a challenge whether it be food restriction or the loss of food as a "buddy" BUT WE CAN DO THIS!! Did you ever think you could go 7 days on Clear liquids? What an amazing thing! I just kept reminding myself that I did that and I would have never expected that I could....so I can do this... I bet it gets easier too!

[knelson1961 0]

Nita,

I can truly understand your struggles. My daughter was also banded by Dr. Spivak on June 15th and she is having the same problems you are. She constantly worries that she is eating too much and tells me not to let her eat that much. I keep telling her one more week and she can have a little variety. Fish and soft foods are just not cutting it anymore, especially when you don't like fish. I've called Dr. Spivak's office several times to get suggestions on what I'm supposed to do and they keep telling us to hang in there, that's it's really important for healing to stick with this diet. Mr. daughter keeps herself busy all the time and I find that she doesn't like to stay at home. I think the house is a negative place for her right now. I wish there was a way that we could work on the mental part but I think it's just going to take time. Hang in there, I'm hoping it's going to get easier. When is your first fill?

[KarenB 0]

Hi all, congratulations to all the new bandsters. "In my head, I know this is dumb since that habit is what got me where I am but I feel like I've lost a friend" Nita, that is not dumb. In some ways we all feel like we lost our best friend. food soothes our anger, frustration, rage, depression, and helps us Celebrate special occasions. I promise that as you get further out & start losing, you will get a better "high" from your success/momentum than you got from food!

A suggestion for when you start eating--ALWAYS start your meal with Protein...eggs, tuna, chicken, chile is a favorite... The carbs you eat should always be complex: veggies, fruit. Any crackers, toast, etc. should be whole wheat. Mind you these are just suggestions, but they were/are the food "orders" I got from my doctor. The reason for this is that carbs crave carbs and Protein satisfies hunger for a longer period of time.

And Laura, you're absolutely right. With friends like that, who needs enemies.

Good luck guys, you'll do great!

["Nita 0]

knelson1961,

I am glad she is doing well other this one horrible little thing, . I think I remember you from the surgury center. Where you sitting against the wall with two men, short hair, diet coke? If that's you, I didn't get a chance to meet your daughter, she was already in surgury when I got there. But like her, I am just trying to hang in there!!!!! I understand how important it is to heal. The fear of messing up my band after all of this is the only thing keeping me away from the chicken nuggets I am dreaming about, LOL.

[lljpaisley 0]

You know, ladies, think about this. We were addicted to food and then they ask us to be without food for 6 weeks in my case. There is just so many times I can have potato Soup. Like many overweight people, I am a very picky eater so my choices are limited while on the full liquid diet. I think about food often and I am afraid that I will go crazy once I am allowed to eat. I don't mean that I will eat alot because I do know better than that, but that I will eat all the wrong things that I have been CRAVING!!!