Breastfeeding in public:

[gadgetlady 4]

Well then, I guess I ruined my child:crying:.

I have no issues with nursing, I wanted to but physically did not produce enough milk. That being said, my child is rarely ever sick (not even once a year) and is intellectually gifted. So, should I feel bad about not nursing?!

Oh, goodness, no! I didn't mean to imply that at all! We cannot ever be perfect parents and shouldn't stress about every decision we make -- especially if it is out of our control.

[lotzasunshine 2]

I have been reading through these posts and agree that breastfeeding is VERY important. Of course there are those who are not able due to many reasons. I hope to breastfeed my children when they come along. I'm not sure if I could do it for 2-3 years though, it might make me a little crazy. But then again, maybe I will enjoy the connection with my babies.

I think there is something to be said about adverse effects of formula. Just like most things in life, what is right for one, may not be right for another. Some babies do wonderfully on formula, and some(like my neice) are throwing up constantly because of it, and could really benefit from breast milk (her mother didn't want to give up smoking when she was pregnant, but did because her husband insisted. As soon as she was born though, mom went right back to smoking. The poor child has a horrible reaction to the formula, and stinks so bad)

As for breastfeeding in public, I have no problem with it, but I agree with using a bit of modesty, not everyone wants to see.

[heartfire 4]

I would have preferred to exclusively breastfeed, but life doesn't always work out the way we've planned. I hate when people say things like that. We all know breastfeeding is best, to make others feel bad for choices does nothing for the cause.

I agree. Even as an adoptive mom, I would have loved to breastfeed. That wasn't possible in MY case. Some can. We found out about our daughter 2 weeks before her birth, so I didn't have enough time to prepare.

The poor child has a horrible reaction to the formula,

They need to switch her formula! The poor child is going to be malnourished if she's throwing up that much! There are alternative formulas on the market that are great.

DD did great on formula. I didn't have to warm it (she hated it warmed) and almost NEVER spit up. We'd mix a batch in the AM and fill bottles as needed. Did the playtex insert things and that was nice and easy. She's rarely sick and it's always mild, when her friends are sick as dogs (having been breasfed babies).

I know all of us have our own experiences and our kids will be sick or not, no matter how or what they were fed. The formulas these days are really good, though not equivalent to breastmilk, are close with all the nutrients, etc. DD's never had an ear infection, major illness or anything. AND she's almost 2 1/2! Now when she gets to preschool, whole 'nother story! LOL!

I do dislike the 'rabidness' of some of the people of the breastfeeding coalition. Some of us just can't. If I'd had a bio-kid it's not guaranteed that I'd been able to breastfeed. The women in my family have a history of not being able to, either at all, for very long, or very well. I totally agree with breastfeeding IF you can BUT you shouldn't be made to feel bad if you can't or won't.

[MacMadame 81]

Part of what makes us/them rabid though is that so many women think they can't breastfeed, but really they've just been given horrible advice. I've seen so many doctors tell women to wean when there was no need or to supplement when there was no need or that there was something wrong with their breastmilk, when there wasn't. It makes me mad!

I think our culture is not conducive to breastfeeding either.

[JaimeSTL 4]

Things like that make me mad, too, Mac. I was a victim of very uninformed doctors and nurses when I had my first child. I am the first to admit when it comes to breastfeeding advocacy, I'm a militant about it. Our medical community and society in general are anti-breastfeeding. It is yet another example of big business interfering in our lives. Nobody makes money off mothers breastfeeding, but plenty make money off mothers giving formula, especially the doctors who give out bad advice and recommend weaning, supplementing, etc.

[Jachut 487]

Yes, pro breast as I am, it makes me mad when people insinuate that formula is poison. And breastfeeding is not only a physical struggle for some but an emotional one, and some people simply hate it. A baby is always better off with a happy mother than a lactating one if a choice has to be made.

And then there's going back to work. I was lucky I could be a sahm because I sure as sugar failed at expressing breastmilk. I would have had no choice but to bottlefeed if I were working. And I always had to leave formula if I was away for a feed.

[*JASMINE* 1]

I never even thought twice about not breastfeeding my son. I felt no guilt in making that decision. He was a very healthy baby. I have no problem with people who go that route. I voted for modesty.

Personally, I wanted my body back after carrying a baby for 9 months. I had to go back to work right away, so even if I wanted to do it, it was not possible. But at the end of the day, I take full responsibility for the choice I made not to breastfeed.

[heartfire 4]

Part of what makes us/them rabid though is that so many women think they can't breastfeed, but really they've just been given horrible advice. I've seen so many doctors tell women to wean when there was no need or to supplement when there was no need or that there was something wrong with their breastmilk, when there wasn't. It makes me mad!

I think our culture is not conducive to breastfeeding either.

Things like that make me mad, too, Mac. I was a victim of very uninformed doctors and nurses when I had my first child. I am the first to admit when it comes to breastfeeding advocacy, I'm a militant about it. Our medical community and society in general are anti-breastfeeding. It is yet another example of big business interfering in our lives. Nobody makes money off mothers breastfeeding, but plenty make money off mothers giving formula, especially the doctors who give out bad advice and recommend weaning, supplementing, etc.

That all makes total sense.

Part of what I don't like about the "rabidness" is that it sometimes makes moms feel bad, for their choices or for something that was out of their hands. Same as the "sides" for working moms and sahms. I don't understand why we are so sure we're "right" that we make other women feel bad or question decisions that they made at the time that was the best for them and their families. I guess that's more where I'm coming from.

I am ALL for education and awareness and getting the medical community educated in helping new moms, not hindering them but not when it comes at the price of a mom questioning her decisions constantly and causing guilt. We've got enough guilt that we heap upon our own heads (my own weekend was UGLY!), we don't need it coming from outside sources and from our own sisterhood.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. :biggrin:

Oh and by "rabidness" I mean the more ugly, in your face, you're wrong and I'm right, nastiness. I'm all for being super supportive of a cause, just be decent about it. Just wanted to clarify!

And I wanted to add that I think this has been a great discussion!

Edited October 20, 2008 by heartfire
Adding more thoughts!

[losingjusme 12]

i voted fine with some covering (blanket, etc)...

i hope to B/F and if someone finds offense and says something, well.. i will more than likely give them an earful..

i think as long as it's discreet, it is fine.

[Wheetsin 714]

I hope I can produce milk to last the first year. I will need to have the baby on a bottle by month 3, but in my ideal world can get her to take both, and will BF at home and hopefully can make it to the daycare at least once a day during breaks.

I'm sure I will BF in public and plan to use a cover, more for me than someone else. I'm not terribly worried if the sight of my baby's head in front of my boob offends someone. Heck, if they're that easily offended, that would truly make me the least of their worries. The cover is more for me. I'm uncomfortable wearing tops with low cut backs, haven't felt comfortable in a tank top since I got fat, etc. -- let alone feeling as though I have to worry about whether or not my shirt has pulled up in back, or if my flabby sides are uncovered.

[gadgetlady 4]

I hope I can produce milk to last the first year. I will need to have the baby on a bottle by month 3, but in my ideal world can get her to take both, and will BF at home and hopefully can make it to the daycare at least once a day during breaks.

Wheetsin, if you take fenugreek it will increase your milk production. Get a good quality pump and, when you're away from the baby, always pump on schedule. That should keep you producing regularly; it's when you start to skip feedings and/or pumpings that your body starts to produce less because it thinks you're weaning.

[gadgetlady 4]

P.S. When are you due?

[lilith 6]

I nursed all three of mine, the first one I covered up, the second one, I tried to cover up, by the third one, I really didn't care! But by then I was good at hiding it, and I wore shirts that made it easy.

Most embarrassing BF moment - I was in home depot and had my son on my hip while I talked to the saleman about a storm door, I look down and realize my son has unbuttoned my shirt and removed my breast from my bra without me even noticing... I slowly backed away while keeping eye contact and got the heck out of there as fast as I could! He got weaned right then!

Worst BF moment - same kid, I was breastfeeding him when we, him, my oldest daughter, and myself all got the chickenpox! I wanted to stop nursing but the ped convinced me he needed it more then than ever..... it was miserable! I remember crying while I nursed him, poor little guy, he was as gentle as he could be.

[sistasassy 6]

I breastfed my children. I was "gifted" with rather large breasts even before I was overweight so when I fed my children, there was no hiding it without light baby blanket to cover. My children were also the type to eat a bit and then want to look around for a second. They also had a number of allergies and stuffy noses. Had I fed them in a public place, I would have been TOTALLY exposed quite often. I feel that it becomes inappropriate at that point.

It is not just a matter of what our rights are or how natural it is. It is a matter if not causing others to be uncomfortable either. I have the right to feed my child, yes, BUT, I should also keep myself covered while doing so.

Also, when I began to lactate, I did not turn into a cow. I still don't want my breasts shown to the public. They are a private thing and I know my husband would not appreciate them being shown off just because I was feeding our children.

As for feeding in the restroom....NO WAY! They are full of germs and smell horrible. I would never eat in the restroom and my child should not either.

Most of the time, I would look for an out of the way peaceful place. Breastfeeding was a very bonding time for me and my children as well as a feeding time. If I could not find an out of the way place, I would be sure I was covered for me and those around me.

I think seeing a woman who is covered says "Oh, there is a mama feeding her baby". I think a woman who is covered says "Wow, there's a boob!"

[Kat817 19]

Wheetsin, when you introduce the bottle with breastmilk in it, make it the rarity in the beginning---stick mostly with the breast as much as you can.

When my granddaughter was born, she was a preemie, and did not have a sucking instinct, combine that with my DD being VERY well endowed and the baby could not latch on. DD worked with a lactation specialist both in the hospital and after going home. She pumped and with work they finally got the baby to suck a bottle, but it is so much easier, she would never even try to latch on to the breast.

I got used to talking to my DD on the phone and hearing the rhythmic sound of the pump going in the background!!! She pumped and fed for a year...then my granddaughter refused the bottle, and would never take the breast milk in a sippy cup.

That being said, for a 4 pound baby-----she is going to be 4 years in a couple of weeks, and we could count on one hand how many times she has been sick.

Her Mom, my DD, was breastfed for about 18-20 months, and had so many ear infections they had me almost keep her standing up to feed----not a comfy position for either of us!!! When we graduated from ear infections we went to strep throat----I bet her medical file would be 4 inches thick. Got rid of the tonsils at 12, and she has seldom been sick since. Makes me wonder if they were not the problem from early on......

Point being, sometimes no matter how hard you try to do the "right" thing, it is not perfect, and it is not a reflection on whether you did right or wrong!

I vote for a simple covering, as was stated before, to keep the babies interest in the breast, NOT in everything else around them. Usually beginning that way from newborn, they become accustomed to that.

Enjoy your time with that new little girl!!!

Kat