What/How to tell my kids?

[Adam 0]

Hi Everyone,

I'm scheduled for surgery on Nov. 6th with Dr. Brad Ray in Bloomington, IN. I had my "diet class" yesterday, which my wife attended with me. On our way home we were talking about what to tell our kids about the surgery I'm going to have. I have a 6 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. My wife doesn't want the kids to get the idea that there's something wrong with being overweight, that all obese people should have surgery.

I think that the kids will be OK with me having surgery, but will probably start to ask questions about my new eating habits/patterns...I.E., "Why isn't Daddy eating the left side of the menu anymore?"

Has anyone out there dealt with this?

-Adam

[beautifulispink 0]

I have a 6 year old son, I told him that I was having the surgery to help mommy get healthy so we can play more and run. I also told him that this is also going to help mommy eat healthy and his response was that he wanted to eat the same things as me and he was fine with the whole thing. Your kids will be ok and this will be a positive thing. Just remeber that.

[scanlon21 0]

Telling the truth to the kids is always a good idea. It is not about being overweight it is about being healthy. Your wife and you need to tell the kids about it and explain that you want to become more healthy. Kids at that age are very easy going.

My children are in their teens and I told them I want to get healthy so I can steal their clothes once I am there. That just makes them laugh !

[rondapooh1 0]

My son will be 4 next month and my surgery date is Oct. 21st. I told him that Mommy was having a rubber band that blows up like a ballon put in her tummy. The rubber band will help Mommy to get a smaller so that I can run just as fast as him and go down slides and jump in the jumpy houses with him. I also told him it would make me feel better and have more energy. I even took him to the Doctor with me when I had to get a weight/vitals check done. Needless to say, he asks every day if I have the "rubber band" yet because he wants to turn on his boosters and outrun me when we race. I keep reminding him how many days until surgery and remind him that he can't jump on mommy for a few days after because my tummy will be sore.

I hope this helps. I always make sure he eats healthy and have since the day he was born. He get the occasional chocoloate or chip treat, but he loves fruit, fish, chicken and peas! He still isn't a big veggie fan though. I'm working on that. I didn't want to go into the "healthy weight" think because I hope he doesn't have the hangups that I do!!!! Good Luck.

[dherem 0]

Hi Adam,

I have a 5 year old and a 4 year old. I had surgery on the Sept 30th. I told my kids that I having surgery on my tummy. I told them that my tummy did not work right and that I had to have surgery. I also told them that I would have to have special food until my tummy was healed. They have been great and does not seem to be an issue. I tried to keep it very simple and not dramatic. If questions come up, I will answer them.

Donna

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Adam you and your wife know your kids best. But I think, while there's nothing "WRONG" with being obese, it is unhealthy. So is eating a lot of fat, etc!

Why can't you tell them the truth; that you want to lose weight and that the operation will help you eat less and be full? I'd worry about the balloon thing one poster told her kid because I was pretty low key but really admired my parents and might have tried to swallow a balloon be "be like they were"...Kids can be pretty literal, even the smart ones!

You don't have to imply that being "fat" is wrong, just that you want to be thinner.

[rondapooh1 0]

Adam you and your wife know your kids best. But I think, while there's nothing "WRONG" with being obese, it is unhealthy. So is eating a lot of fat, etc!

Why can't you tell them the truth; that you want to lose weight and that the operation will help you eat less and be full? I'd worry about the balloon thing one poster told her kid because I was pretty low key but really admired my parents and might have tried to swallow a balloon be "be like they were"...Kids can be pretty literal, even the smart ones!

You don't have to imply that being "fat" is wrong, just that you want to be thinner.

I supose if you said I have a ballon in my tummy it might be taken that way. If we as parents show them the annimated version of the band(not the gross one), took him to my doctor with me!!!...and Yes...I described it as a rubberband that can be filled like a ballon....then the whole swallow a ballon issue isn't valid.

My point is this....My son is almost 4...and I will not tell him that OBESE is wrong...or bad or unhealthy. Instead of focusing on all that is wrong in the world, I choose to focus on what is right instead. This will help Mommy feel better, faster, etc. Kids learn by experience and example. I supp0se if I blew up a ballon and put it around his stuffed bear to show him, then I see an issue. Annalogies are something my kid personally gets particularlly with a video and trip! It's like saying that if he watches buzz lightyear jump off of a building,he will too. Not going to happen because we discuss what could happen.

So...dont' take what I said as advice. I'm just sharring. You as a parent know what works for your kids best. I personally didn't want to explain that "fat" was bad. I never want him to be a judgemental person who judges anyone based on their body. To me...it's not about being thinner. It's about being healthy and active.

[ksill18 0]

haha I was thinking the same thing. if I told my kids i was getting a rubber band around my tummy they would be eating rubber bands to be like me!! I told my kids that I need to be healthy for them so I can watch them grow up. They are happy about that.

[mommie2 0]

I have a 13 yr. old and a 7 yr. old and had surgery on Aug. 27, 08. I was upfront and honest with mine. I showed them the picture that the doctor gave me. I told them that he was putting a band around my stomach and I wouldn't be able to eat much anymore. I explained that I was doing this so I could be healthy, have more energy and so I can get off all of my med's. They were very happy for me. I took my oldest to one of my meetings and she was able to ask any questions she had. My 7 yr old played my little nurse when I came home and still tries to take care of me and reminds me if she see's me eating something that 's not on my list of (Good Foods)! She even wants to eat the same as I do. Include them in this life changing process. I made a calendar for my preop and post op daily foods and my 7 yr old marked off each day as I went along. My 13 yr old helps me with keeping a weekly journal. Good Luck to you. They will want Daddy to be healthy and happy.

[zoomomma 1]

My kids are 13, 8, and 6. I have told them all about the surgery and why. My 13 yr. old understands more and so was given more details. The 8 and 6 were just told the basics. Mommy is going to have surgery to help her feel better (physically and mentally). She is going to eat differently and will lose weight. My kids are excited for me and can't wait until I can play with them again. They deserve to know. They will understand and support you. Please don't leave them out of this journey, they will notice things and will be asking questions. You will have to tell them something, why not the truth. Just my opinion.

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

I had my band 2+ years ago now. At the time my kids were 5 & 7. I told them exactly what it was and why. I even drew pictures. While I told them there was nothing 'wrong' with being overweight I did tell them Mommy was unhappy and unhealthy. I was 100% honest because I don't want this to be them when they get older. Now 2 years later they can tell others about my band (sometimes too much) and are proud of me. Be honest and talk to their level. It makes it less scary for everyone! Good luck!

[thatDEgirl 1]

I have a 6 year old son, I told him that I was having the surgery to help mommy get healthy so we can play more and run. I also told him that this is also going to help mommy eat healthy and his response was that he wanted to eat the same things as me and he was fine with the whole thing. Your kids will be ok and this will be a positive thing. Just remeber that.

This is what I told my daughter...I guess though, after figuring out how to tell my daughter about my cancer diagnosis earlier this year, the lapband didn't phase me at all. She's 6 BTW.

[chicamam1 1]

Hi Everyone,

I'm scheduled for surgery on Nov. 6th with Dr. Brad Ray in Bloomington, IN. I had my "diet class" yesterday, which my wife attended with me. On our way home we were talking about what to tell our kids about the surgery I'm going to have. I have a 6 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. My wife doesn't want the kids to get the idea that there's something wrong with being overweight, that all obese people should have surgery.

I think that the kids will be OK with me having surgery, but will probably start to ask questions about my new eating habits/patterns...I.E., "Why isn't Daddy eating the left side of the menu anymore?" :biggrin:

Has anyone out there dealt with this?

-Adam

I just sat down with my kids and told them i was having surgery and explaine dthe procedure to them and what i would have around my stomach and how it would work. my kids are 13 9 8 and 6. i explained its a very safe procedure and what to expect after surgery such as to be gentle around me. They were very understanding and helpful and they love seeing the results im getting. :wub: it wasnt a big issue with them and they understand why i eat the way i do because ive explained why i cant have certain things. ... I was just real straightforward about the whole process and they are doing wonderful and even being supportive