I'm failing, help

[Andrea20405 0]

I haven't been online in a while. In fact, there is a little message at the top of my screen saying I haven't posted in several weeks, asking me if I am getting shy. I guess I just haven't wanted to see everyone else's success stories.

I was banded 8-15. I have a 14cc AP band. I still dont have restriction, even after 2 fills. My 3rd fill is next Tuesday. Sometimes I will have a PB if I dont chew enough, but other than that, nothing. No food amount restrictions, no food type restrictions.

I try hard to make good food choices. Not always successful at that.

I sometimes forget not to eat and drink at the same time. Old habits are harder to break than I thought.

I go to the gym every week day. I hired a personal trainer once a week.

I am trying. And yet my scale hasn't moved in over a month.

I get so upset. It hurts when people ask how much weight I've lost. I feel like a failure. I feel like I did all this for nothing. I feel like I am the only one who isn't succeeding.

WTF else can I do? I want to lose this weight!

PS. most of my weight loss was pre-op diet on the ticker.

Edited October 16, 2008 by Andrea20405

[Nanook 2]

You're not the only one who has not succeeded by far. I had to remove mine after reflux and the simple fact that I and the band were not a weight losing team! You're probably giving up a bit too soon though and there will be others who will chime in to help lift your spirits and get you back to where you need to be. So good luck to you, I know how it feels when people "expect" to see the big loss and you don't have anything to show for it. But you take care of "you" and stop worrying about what you think other people are thinking! Does that make sense? It's late anyway take care and don't be so hard on yourself! Nancy.

[Andrea20405 0]

I am not ready to give up. I think the band works. I think it may someday work for me. I am just getting discouraged. Its taking longer than I thought it would. I am disappointed in myself for not making the best decision 100% of the time, and for not remembering stupid things like eating/drinking together.

I guess I just need some cheerleading. I need to know I am not alone in my struggles and that they will pass.

I will be thin... someday.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I maybe can help, because I was in a similar boat. I have a 14 cc band. I lost 32 pounds preop, (on a 5 1/2 week preop diet) and then another 9.4 post op during the 2 week liquid phase my doc requires. Then...I went nuts. Mushies...oh lord I wallowed in the mushies. And once I could eat "solids" I had EVERYTHING. I had a steak and baked potato, I had a hamburger and fries and a shake, I had pizza. I gained back 11 pounds in the 4 week stage from mushies to my 1st fill. I told myself I was "testing my band" and I guess in a way I was, but I was way over the top. No restrictions, no problems. But I figured I'd get my first fill and things would start to slow down. I did realize it would likely take 4 or more fills to feel restriction but just knew at the first one I'd start to, um "feel the love". NOT. My doctor gave me 1 1/2 CC! GOOD GRIEF. I told him "that's not worth the lidocaine you just used" and he said this. He told me : Go home and QUIT snacking. I don't care what you eat. Just eat 3 meals a day. Period. NO Snacks. No healthy Snacks. no junk snacks. NOTHING with calories. NOTHING. If you snack, the band will not do what you want it to. Go learn that and come back and I'll put more in. I CAN give you restriction now but honestly I've learned that you must not snack or the band won't help you. If you try to deal with sudden restriction and no snacking all at once it can set you up to fail. So trust me.

ANd I did. I decided to go back on the preop diet for the next 5-6 weeks because once I got past the initial hunger, I felt good on high Protein, low carb low fat. I miss other foods but don't suffer hunger pangs after the first couple days. I know I can't and won't ALWAYS eat this way but I can do it now and it helps my hunger. Guess what? I've lost 10 of the 11.4 pounds I had gained. Tomorrow will be 1 week fron that fateful appt and I may have lost back all I gained in my month of "wild freedom".

I am not drinking 15 min before, during, or 15 minutes after I eat, per my doc's direction, unless I'm having a "meal" of those shakes I hated so much preop. (he told me as long as I treated them as a meal and not a snack, it was fine to have them) I am having 3 meals a day and I am NOT snacking. Period. Nothing.

I am happy again because I'm back on the way DOWN! I know I WILL get restriction but rather than waiting for that to happen, I'm back in the driver's seat.

My point is...you are in control, not the band. I understand your mindset, I think....I think a bunch of us do. But in the end, it really is just a tool. We all say that, but we need to believe and understand it to be successful, I think.

Exercise alone won't cause you to lose weight, so going to the gym is GREAT! for you, but it isn't the answer. You have to take in less calories than you use, and for the band to work, you need to follow the band rules. SO.....

Follow the band rules. Do what your doc says (he may not prohibit snacks like mine does) Eat Protein, then veggies, then fruit, then finally wheats, grains, pastas, bread. Don't drink with your meals Get in the habit. Watch your calories for now (We won't always have to I don't think) Getting the band right is a process; I was waiting for that "miracle" to happen. My doc, who was very kind and didn't lecture me or preach (if he had, I would just have tuned him out. I'm VERY hard headed LOL) helped me realize I am in control, not the band. I know what I have to do to use it. This way, once I get restriction, it will just help me keep on going.

You can do this!

[plain 12]

Andrea, congrats on having the courage to post that right now you're struggling.....and for not giving up. Here's the thing....it's never too late to get back on the right track. So keep on exercising and trying to pick better food choices. It took me 3 fills to get to my sweet spot. I know it's difficult, but be patient....and hey, support is what we deal in here. So when ya need some, come get some (I realize that kinda sounded like a pro wrestler's tag line, but you know what I mean)!

[salome000 0]

GIVE ME AN 'A'

GIVE ME AN 'N'

GIVE ME A 'D'

GIVE ME AN 'R'

GIVE ME AN 'E'

GIVE ME AN 'A'

WHAT DOES IT SPELL?

"A GIRL WHO WASN'T AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP AND IS DESTINED TO SUCCEED!"

Sorry, Andrea...it was as creative as I could get at 3am :thumbup:

Listen...although I'm new to the band, what you're doing is the same thing we've all done without the band and a lot of us with the band. Remember...it takes 3 days. The first two suck and the 3rd is when you get back on track. Meaning, go back to the liquids. Set times to eat and stick to them. Make sure you eat right before you go to bed...nothing worse than trying to sleep on an empty stomach.

I'm so glad you came back...log on everyday...every hour if you need to. We're here and God knows, since we all have those times we'll probably be coming right back to you at a later date for support and you'll be telling this story to encourage us. You'll follow it up with how you got back on track, etc.

Also, go to livestrong.com and use the daily plate to track everything that goes into your mouth. All my life, people told me how instrumental a food diary is to success and I never believed them. Until now. GO TO THIS SITE!

Remember, it ain't a quick fix...there will be ups and downs...but girlfriend, if you can drop that much weight without a band, I know you can do the same if not more WITH the band.

Remember we love you!

[msnenequeenie14 0]

Hi Andrea!

I had some of your same feelings as well. After the post op diet, I quickly discovered that I had nothing stopping me from pretty much eating the way that I used to before I got the band. I was trying unsuccessfully for more than 6 weeks just to get a call back from my doctors office to get an appointment for a fill. I lost 14 lbs in the week following the surgery. after that I was yo-yoing up and down with my weight. Some days I would just eat all I could just because I could then starve myself for the next few days to take back off the extra pounds. I finally got my first fill 10/14/08 and I actually have some restriction and I am so excited to see what happens next. Its not total restriction, but it is a difference from before the fill. I am looking forward to my next fill. When I was at my appointment on 10/14/08 my doctor asked me why I hadn't lost any additional weight. I told him I had just been trying so hard to maintain what I had lost and not gain any, I was too embarrassed to tell him about all the yo-yoing. He said you have only gone down .5 lbs since your last appointment almost three months ago. I said well I need a fill. He said how much weight did you lose pre-op. I said I lost the whole 10 lbs you told me to lose. He said EXACTLY and you did that without having a band at all, its all about the choices you make. So after my fill I decided that it IS all about the choices I make and my CHOICE is to change my eating habits for good and lose this weight! Don't feel like your failing, just feel like your human just like the rest of us and you had some set backs! Don't give up!

[Sades 4]

Welcome to my world Andrea. I have 4cc in a 10cc band and even though I too get stuck if eat too fast or don't chew enough, I can still eat a fair amount of food and not always the best food at that. I walk for exercise and know that when I hit my sweet spot I will move forward to where I want to be but for now it's hard to eat small amounts when I know I can eat more. Hang in there, it will come and you'll look back at this time with a smile.

[nycm00 0]

Andrea,

Don't give up on your band. It took me 4 fills to feel restriction. Up until the third, I could eat anything. If you look at my ticker, I have been banded since March 24th. It's been six months for me. You are doing great! Until you have restiction, it is hard. I did not believe it would get easier...kept waiting to fail. Once you have the right restriction the food choices get easier and the weight starts coming off.

You will stillhit plateu's and there is still the head hunger, but it's easier to deal with.

Best of luck to you!

Christine

[gone 4 ever 6]

Andrea, You have lost 49 lbs. You were banded 2 months ago...you have done great! DO NOT compare yourself to others on this board! It will get to you. Everyone loses at different rates. Compared to some I am a slow loser, others I am faster than. Don't let everybodys weight loss make you feel like a failure! This is 49 lbs LOST NOT gained. Good luck.

[Andrea20405 0]

Thanks guys! What a great thing to wake up to this morning. I really appreciate all your support!

I am going to check out the livestrong.com site. I had been on fitday.com but never with any consistancy. Maybe this will be different.

Perhaps you are right and I should go back to liquids for a few weeks. That was really hard for me, but I may not have much of a choice.

How do you all fight the head hungries? I was never much of a snacker before surgery, but now I find myself wanting something sweet between lunch and dinner. And I overeat at Breakfast too. Breakfast is my biggest meal, and I eat it fast, like if I dont shovel it in fast, I'll starve. And I am still eating what I use to eat pre-band for breakfast, bad quality foods and too much of them, and way too fast.

OK, thats the new question... head hungries cures? food ideas? size of meals?

Maybe my 3rd fill will get me to that sweet spot finally and I wont be interested in food anymore.

[Shamrockgirl60 1]

I can understand, my progress is rather slow, the past week I have had the hungry horrors and not much restriction. It's willpower that's keeping me on this diet and exercise and the band is a help. I am so afraid to overeat and make the band slip I think about it before I eat anything. And if I don't slow down and chew I get that awful stuck feeling.

I am hoping that my second fill gives me more restriction.

I didn't want to go through all that this intailed...the diet and the surgery and the weeks of Fluid, not to mention the scars and the pain for nothing. I won't let my being a food addict mess this up.

Seeing my shrink tomorrow...that helps to talk to her.

Good luck and keep on keeping on. One day at a time....

[kgloverii 0]

A sweet spot WILL help you in your journey. You are doing VERY well. I hit a plateau for for a whole month, when I was six months post-band. Finally, the scale started moving. I hit my sweet spot at fill #3, and have been at my sweet spot ever since (with a little tweaking, a .3 ccs here and there) and my head doesn't care about food.... Hang in there... keep making the right choices and you'll continue to get there...

[jeanne352 0]

Bob oh Boy did I need to hear all this! I too have that message at the top of the page, and I have been struggling. I used to be on here everyday before I was banded. Now maybe once a month. I guess that tells me I'm not as motivated as I was. But we must never lose hope, and I am so appreciative of all the support that there is for the asking. I am going to go back to the post op diet (my Doc didn't require pre op). and get back to lossing again. I've been stalled for 4 months now. Thanks so much for starting this thread, and for all the encouraging answers!

[hopeendures 0]

Hey Andrea,

Congratulations on losing 49 lbs so far. And you managed to do much of that without any help! Impressive. My band is only a 4cc. I have pretty good restriction with only 1cc of saline. In fact some days I can't eat much of anything, and it's a chore to make sure I have had sufficient Protein, and other nutrients. (using Daily Plate makes it possible to track that). I can't eat any kind of beef, or pork, ever.

Yet...even with all this restriction, my weight loss occasionally stalls entirely. I spent 2 weeks at a stand still. I finally got back to tracking my intake, and discovered, to my horror, that I was managing to drink a lot of extra calories, and drinking while I ate, just because I had head hunger, and I wanted to be able to eat. Once I identified the problem, and got my caloric intake under control, I started losing again.

Push your doctor for more restriction. And if he will not give you more, there are doctors who will.

My doctor pushed mine to the very limit. She slips in the needle, and puts some saline in, then has me drink some Water. If it goes down without a pause, she adds more saline. If it seems to stop, she backs it out a bit. Once it's just right, she removes the needle, and then we hang out for a few minutes, with me sipping Water, to make sure it's not too tight. This is how she did my very first fill. Remember, your doctor is the expert, but he also works for you! It's his job to make the band work for you. It's ok to get aggressive about your own treatment.

Good luck!! Keep us posted!