My Story

tracie30 · October 14, 2008

I know everyone out there has a story but my surgery is Thursday and I feel like I need to vent and have some clarity.

Like most, I have been over weight my entire life. Unfortunately no one else in my family was. I was raised by a single month who weight an astonishing 111 pounds when she delivered me. That's right...111 pounds. I exceeded that weight in Fourth grade.

food was always an area of focus in our home. Never seemed like enough food and so when there was food I would pig out...feeling like it would all be gone tomorrow. My mother, not knowing how to communicate with me always critique my weight and as a form of motivation (as she tells me now) she would say cruel things. This lead me to hiding food and eating when I felt it was safe.

When I started dating my husband (who has no trouble with his weight), my mother would tell him not to take me out to eat on our dates. She would tell him I didn't need additional access to more food. This would embarrass me to a point that I wanted to hide under a rock, even though I knew she was looking out for me. She just didn't know how to go about being dignified about the situation.

Even though I have come to terms with why I eat so much...it's hard to control those emotions. Now I have been married 11 years and my husband has never made one comment about my weight...NEVER! Even though I have gained 100 pounds since we married.

My mother and I are very close however I can tell that she doesn't understand how I got to where I am. No one in my immediate family is over weight and even though I have finished college, have a successful marriage, and own an insurance agency. No one in my family has accomplished half of what I have done and even still I am looked at as the family member with problems.

When I decided to have weight loss surgery I researched for nearly 3 years. When I made my final decision I made sure I was doing this for a healthy me and not just to conform to what they think I should be.

My mom will be with me for my surgery and I am really glad for that but when I am thinner and healthier and I am going to remind her that I am still the same person she has known my entire life, regardless of the package and that my reasons for WLS was because I wanted to live longer not be the size she always insisted I be.

Thanks for listening!!

Mariposa · October 14, 2008

Yea that story is similar to mine, except hiding food. I was raised too, by a single mom and there were days when they was no food in the house. So when my mom would go grocery shopping I would pig out too. I was always a lil bigger then my tall skinny sister. Everyone compared me to her. Unlike ur family 90% of the women struggle with there weight on both sides. So I had genes and the ones in my family who succeeded in losing weight or never had a weight problem thought it was a good idea to put me on a diet at age 9, not recommended by a Dr. I didnt even need it, I look at pictures of me as a kid and I wasnt even fat! At all, I just wasnt a skinny and tall like my sister (by the way is my half sister) So all of my childhood I was compared to my sister. I was a child and teenager an emotional eatter. Then as an adult I was on constant yo yo diets. Which made things worse. The remarks I got was, are you sure you wanna eat that? ARe you sure thats not to much etc. Now.. I dont get fat ass or anything like that from my husband or my over weight mom. But I will warn you, this is what I have experienced and its a lil frustrating on my part. I am almost 6 weeks out. PPl are surprised of how much I can eat and what I can eat. ( It averages 3 cups of food a day) Which is what I am suspose to have a day. Well when they see what I put on my toodler plate they are like "Are you sure you can eat that? Are you sure thats not to much?" Pisses me off, becuz they think its like gastric, where you eat next to nothing. I get that eyebrow raised look when ever I put food on my plate by my husband. Who married me fat!??! lol I dont get it, other then they are ignornant. I have lost 15pds since the surgery and lost 13pds before surgery! I eat whatever I want, but because of my taste 98% of it is healthy food, becuz it taste better then that processed high sugar high salt crap we call food. So.. expect your mom to do the same thing. Once you are eating. I think they expect u to eat like a bird and when they see how much you can eat, they are surprised and make the comments!!! GRRRR :thumbup: Anyway u r doing the right thing.. good luck :biggrin:

lapbandliz · October 14, 2008

Thanks for sharing your story! I bet that it was hard growing up with such a skinny mom who didn't understand! :biggrin: Good luck with your surgery on Thursday! :thumbup:

mstrina27 · October 14, 2008

You need to talk to your mom to let her know how u feel... The band is only a tool and u can still make the same bad food choices with it.... U really have to face your cryptiniote... The things that u fear the most become your giant, and even tho they seem so small they are yet so big... Congrats on the choice to live your life for u...

jetsy62 · October 14, 2008

First of all, I am so glad you found this site and feel comfortable being able to talk with all of us. We are here for each other. We all came about having a problem with weight in different ways, but we all share one thing in common. We have a weight problem and have made a decision to do something about it! Yippee for us.

I have only been banded about 3 weeks and I have already learned that this journey is different for everyone. The band is a tool to help the person inside become that person on the outside. Only my opinion, but I recommend you speak to your mom about this prior to the surgery. After surgery, you will be scrutinized by others about what you are eating, be dealing with the surgery and all kinds of challenges, deal with great weight loss and then plateaus (sp), and many other things. You will have a full plate so to speak and I don't mean food. Having this emotional garbage hanging around will just add to it. It does not have to be confrontational. Just explain your feelings. Right, wrong, or indifferent, they are your feelings. Ask your mom for her help and understanding because you will need all the support you can get. Good luck! My best to you.