I think My Mother is jealous...

[HelloPenny 0]

My Mother was the one that encourage... Let me rephrase that to be more clear... PESTERED me to look into getting the Lap Band, once we found out TRICARE covered them. I am living with my parents while my Husband is deployed, so I would have extra home support for myself and my 1 yo Daughter. SHE was the one that said she could help me, and watch the baby, and help me recuperate. So, I went ahead and looked into it.

And, never in my wildest dreams would I have believed or been prepared for how quickly I was approved and a surgery date set. Less than a month! Total Shock... I kept telling the coordinator at my Doctor's office, "I can't believe it!" I spend well over a year trying to be approved for WLS, 5 years ago. I was dejected and heart-broken.

So, ever since I started making my appointments and driving down to Dallas. She has gotten more difficult about the details that come with supporting me. We are arguing a lot more now (which we do some anyway, we are so much alike, and very close). And, it seems like now there are all these obstacles. She's just being more cranky.

She did make a comment, "At least your insurance will pay for the surgery, mine won't!"

I think she is a little jealous. She is losing weight right now and doing great. She has lost about 28 lbs since July and looks great. She is smaller than me to being with.

Anyway, how did you guys handle the "little green monsters"?

Thanks.

[gingerbug 3]

It depends on who they are. I can forgive those I care about because I have been jealous myself. If someone is making rude comments to me I will decide if it is worth getting into as some people just need tome to work things through on their own. If it is worth getting into I address it in a manner that does not put them on the defensive. If possible, that is. If it is someone who has no impact on my life I ignore them. Life is too short. If you cant reason with them, let it go. It is their problem , not yours.

[karen_karen 0]

first of all penny i have to give you probs i have a 2 year old and a 4 year old and my hubby just left for training like 2 months ago and will be leaving for iraq at the being of november and i wished i could go back to my parents house i could save so much money and have help with the kids but i cant seem to get myself to do it. i live in dallas and my parents are in killeen and i know if i go live with my mom i would prob go insane and so would my mom and we just have a huge fall out and ill be homeless looking to move somewhere in like 2 months lol. your mom is prob just adjusting to the idea for you plus its hard i think on grandparents to have little ones around when they have already finished doing the kid thing years ago. my mom did sorta the same thing she would say she would watch my daughter while i went to the gym the first time my hubby was deployed and i realized it was never going to happen cuz she would call me like every 15 minutes saying when are you coming home? all i can really say is just keep it up and dont let that discourage you. sometimes it seems like parents want you there but at the same time they like there space. maybe send her off for a bit to reenergize herself of send yourself off with your little one to reenergize you and your little one.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I suggest talking with her, but I wouldn't accuse her of jealousy. You may be coming across as demanding, because the band IS "all about you". Of course it is; you are the one getting surgery etc. But her life has changed a lot too with you and grand daughter back at home. You've made it sound like she forced you into the surgery; do you resent that? Is it spilling over into how you ask her for help?

You may have issues you aren't aware of, and so might she. Does she know you are proud of how well she's doing? Have you told her you wish she could get the surgery too if she wants it? It may not be jealousy, it may be exasperation. She may miss her more uncomplicated life when you weren't home. Maybe not! I can't read her mind! LOL BUT then, you can't read hers and even is she is a mother she can't read yours. You two need to talk.

Good luck with the band, by the way!