Husband not supportive

[healthyby50 0]

Hi Everyone...

I've been looking into lapband for over a year and finally got the nerve up to have a consult with the surgeon. I'm just on the borderline of acceptance, as I'm 35 BMI....

I just told my husband last night about the appointment and he's so against me having the surgery. He thinks that if I just exercise, the weight will come off. I have about 87lbs to lose (although he doesn't know how much I weigh and I don't plan on telling him..:redface:) He said, workout for 6 months and then decide....I told him that I just never feel full....and that once I take off some weight I WILL exercise....

Anyone else have husband issues with this????

I'm struggling with whether or not I'm making the right decision on having surgery.

Di

[mljalways 1]

There was a time about 6 months ago that I would throw the idea out there during casual conversation and my Dh's response would be " oh you dont need that"..........when I brought it up seriously and told him I wanted it for me and to get me off diabetic medication he was totally supportive. Good luck but remember this is about you!

[Kalipso2 25]

to me, people who aren't supportive think they can change your mind. my parents were NOT supportive at all and unfortunately i needed their help getting to the hospital and back (a 4 hour drive each way).

i basically told them that while i understand their concerns and reservations, i'm doing this for me! i've tried diets. i've tried exercising. i need more help. and i was going to go thru with it WITH or WITHOUT their help.

they eventually came around and i was so happy to have them there for me while i recovered.

[*slim* 2]

My husband wasn't thrilled about me having the band placed. I finally had to tell him that though I wanted his support, the decision was mines to make. He finally came around (sort of). Good luck to you!

[austex 0]

my mother isnt very happy with me doing this but she will see it will be ok she is worried it might kill me , I want to think other wise. I have a great surgeon so I am lookin at that in a positive way, I am glad this morning she did mention it and said just call me when u get home.

I am scheduled tomorrow , so good luck to u and whatever u decide,

I believe ur husband will love the out come later on if u know what I mean>?>??

we can wear nice things likes lingerie ...........see

take care

[new_me_2008 1]

I had the exact same senario that mlalways describes above. My husband could not read my mind and when I would say "oh cool, Sharon Osborn has the band" he did know that I was hinting around.

Once I called him, from an airport, crying, telling him that I had done all of the research and this was the best and only solution for me, he told me to schedule it right away.

One year later, it is the best decision I ever made. I will say that my husband has not been thrilled when I leave the table at a restaurant (he knows that it not a good sign) but overall he is happy that I am happy.

[Ditkadog1 0]

I have been lucky because my husband supports me. Although if he didn't, he knows with my bull headed tendencies I would just do it anyway so why fight me on it. However, I am in that same boat with my mom. Whenever I try to talk about it, she changes the subject. Ironically, she was 100% behind my sister this spring when she decided to have surgery to get new boobs. I think it's just that mind set of some people who believe having weight loss surgery is the "easy way out," which is so far from the truth. If you truly believe the lap band is the one thing that is going to help you get healthy and you are comfortable with your decision, don't let your husband, or anyone else, tell you otherwise. Just be honest with yourself and you will be fine.

[mljalways 1]

Bless my husbands heart he went out and bought Protein today and its chocolate flavored. I dony want to discourage his supportivness so what can I make with it????

[babe134 0]

Being married for a while and wanting to stay there I think that it would be fair to start excersising while in the process of approval and all of that. I think to show him you are trying may help him be more supportive. I agree it is your decision but the concept of marriage is compromise.

[DesertRose 0]

My husband was worried about the complications and risks but he was very supportive. He knew it was something that would help me and I had already made up my mind. Without his consent, it would have been hard for me. I want his blessing in anything I decide to do. He was reluctant but finally agreed and he's been supportive all the way. (except for bringing sweets around me a little too much) :wub:

[lfoss 0]

My hubby was not supportive to start with and he knew I had to have him at my 1st and pre-op visit or they would not do the surgery. He went to those visits and listened to what the doctor had to say and he has ended up being very proud of me and my decision. He sees how much it has improved my quality of life and that has made it all worth it. Give him a chance and hopefully he will come around. My hubby knew I had made up my mind and he saw everything I went through to get approval for the surgery, so I guess he figured I had done all of the hard work so he could at least be there for me. I think it has made our marriage stronger too. Good luck and follow your heart.

[tapshoes 2]

My hubby was not supportive to start with and he knew I had to have him at my 1st and pre-op visit or they would not do the surgery.

I've never heard of this before. It is your body, you can do with it what you want. If any physician told me I had to have DH with me, I'd have walked out. Oh well, every physician is different.

I made the decision, arranged the dates, etc and never even mentioned it to DH (or anyone else). I only told him about a week before as I would need him to drive me to and from the clinic. It isn't his body or his business. Thankfully, he has been wonderfully supportive, but even if he hadn't, it wouldn't have been an issue for me.

[healthyby50 0]

Wow...thanks for all your insight on this....My husband is such a wonderful guy, but he just doesn't get this part of my struggle...I'm sure he'll come around.

I'm definately going to start exercising (we have a whole gym setup in our basement)....who knows? Maybe if I start going thru this process it will be my jump start to really losing weight...I'm so borderline that I might not be able to have the surgery.

Thanks for all of your support...I'm sure you'll hear alot from me..:-)

Diana

[want_so_bad 0]

my husband was the same way. he was not supportive in the least. he thought i should be able to just not eat as much and exercise on my own. he came around enough to sign the finance papers i needed him to sign but he still wasnt happy about it. that was a year ago...today he still doesnt like it...but he does like that i am 45-50lbs (depends on the day) lighter! i try to ignore him when he makes the crappy comments about the money i spent on the surgery. i am a happier healthier person and it is a great thing! good luck.