Frustrated,Depressed,and Still Just As Fat!

[skhopp 0]

I am 1 1/2 years from my banding - and I am still stuck at a loss of 10-15 pounds (due to no fault of the band, lack of effort on my part) I feel like I am the only one that has failed at the lap band. I know that my family and friends (although they don't say much to me) wonder why the h*ll I'm not any thinner. I am absolutely embarrassed to go into public - I live in a small town and most everyone knows that I had the band put in - and I feel like everyone looks at me and wonders why I'm still fat. My daughter's parents' night for basketball is tonight - and although I want to be out there with her, part of me wishes I could hide in the bathroom until the introductions are over. I am really depressed about this. I know that it is my own fault - ice cream, potato chips, calorie laden drinks, etc. I need help bad, and I'm hoping someone out there can relate??? I have post-poned my 1 year check (should've been in May 2008) because I am sooooo embarrassed. I did finally reschedule it for Oct. 17 - and come hell or high Water, I'm going. I think this is a huge step in trying to get back on track. Hope someone out there will respond. thanks

[wishin4 0]

I am sorry for your disappointment. I am glad you have made your appointment though. Is your band filled enough? I am sure once you go to the doctor they will work with you to get you back on track and fill your band if needed. Please don't give up. You took a big step getting the band and your support group is here and at the doctors office. Don't beat up on yourself either. You are probably harder on yourself than anyone. Hang in there, okay? Try to be positive that this will still work for you.

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

I responded on the other thread as well, but thought I'd repeat here. Make sure you keep your appointment. I know you don't want to disappoint when you go to your doctor, you really wanted to have lost weight. Followup is so important when being banded. Keep that appointment! They are there to aid you in your weight loss efforts - they will be more upset with you for canceling your appt than for showing up struggling. You may also be too tight. If all you can eat are slider foods - then you may be eating what you know will go down. Don't let yourself get in a rut. Be 100% honest with your doctor and his staff - sounds to me like you need an adjustment too.

Come to the boards here and post. I know I couldn't do this alone. When I have a good day I post - when I have a bad day I often lurk, but always come back. No one wants to be a failure, but we all have struggles at some point.

Your band is a tool. It won't keep you from eating carbs, it won't help you exercise, only you can do that. It will help you stop overeating - but you it had to be adjusted correctly.

Don't worry about what the rest of the world thinks - even in a small town. I'm from a small town myself so believe me I understand what you are going through. You are doing this for YOU, not for them. You decided you needed help in losing weight and got your band. It will not work for you if you don't make sure it's working correctly. Do your part and please see your doctor. This isn't always easy. We all have bad days and good. There is help out there - don't be afraid to ask or afraid to fail. We learn from our failures. You've learned in the past year and half what not to do. Today is a new day.

[skhopp 0]

<P>Stupid question - how do I move my thread down with the others? I don't understand why it's on top of the other threads - which is where I wanted it. I'm sorta computer illiterate.</P>

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

Do you mean on the main thread (new thread area)? You have to have someone post/respond to a post. The most current posts are listed on top.

[skhopp 0]

Thanks so much for your time and advice. I feel better just knowing there are many others out there that can relate so closely to my "issues". Thanks for being there.

[skhopp 0]

What I mean is when I click on the forum "Lap Band Complications" - my post is up in the top box titled "Sub-forums", and not down with the other posts titled "threads in forum". Seems like a little issue, but I wish it were down with the others - maybe I would get more replies. Thanks!

[wickedme 0]

One thing I have learned from sitting in on support group meetings,, (not banded yet) is as soon as you feel frustrated and alone,, start giving up and letting yourself think you have failed... call your surgeons office and ask for help. I chose the bariatric center I did because they will not give up on me or let me fail. As long as I make the call and tell them I am in trouble they will help me.. I know what your going through as far as feeling lost. I have been exercising and eating better for more then a year and have only managed to keep off a few pounds, but I don't want to live in this shell of existance any longer. Call someone ASAP, don't put it off another day. You are worth the effort, and missing your appointments will only make it worse. Be honest with yourself and your doctor and you will succeed!!

Prayers to you for a new start

[Nanook 2]

I also found out after a year of struggling that I was not losing weight on the band as it appeared everyone else had. I had the choice to have it removed and have a revision to another type of WLS. I chose to have it removed and not revise. That was my own personal choice as the lap band was almost keeping me at this point from having a healthy lifestyle as I was forced to eat unhealthy foods as opposed to the healthy ones that would only get stuck and I remained frustrated and starving. So like I said before this was my personal choice and I was tired of feeling like a failure all the time and now I don't. Good luck with whatever decision you make Nancy.

[laurigee 545]

Unfortunately it doesn't sound like you have failed at the band, it sounds like you have never given the band a chance. I feel your pain and embarrassment because it took me along time to get it also. I still am not free from my food demons. But you have to give it an effort, and get rid of the word FAILURE in your vocabulary. It sounds like you may be more worried about how others see you than really ready to start changing your lifestyle. I know that you know to be healthier you have to change your eating and your exercise needs to increase. YOU CAN DO IT! Take baby steps. Maybe start by exercising 30 min. every other day. You'll be surprise how that can change how you feel about yourself. Don't think of changing everything at once and being perfect, that's not a reality for most of us, and can seem very overwhelming. Look at the small picture for awhile. Day by day is an easier way of looking at things. Small goals. GOOD LUCK. YOU CAN DO IT!

[Totallytater 1]

Get a fill, get a grip and get on with it!! We all stumble. I am a slow loser myself because I lose a grip on things sometimes and go for the ice cream too much. At least you are not gaining. Get motivated and get going. If any of us here can do it, you can too!!

[Puna Teri 0]

I like that quote wicked me !

[jacobsmomyatta 0]

i am also not always as faithful to my band nor as dedicated to exercise as i know i should be:redface:. i had three fills and felt no restriction and i was feeling a bit skeptical that the band would work but i just got a fourth fill and now i feel the band working as it should so now I must do my part and work with the band! u can do this!!! once u see your dr perhaps u will have a new outlook or maybe he can give u some tips on how to incorporate exercise & proper food choices into your life slowly! u will be successful. believe in yourself & don't worry about what anyone else thinks- GOOD LUCK!:laugh:

[Puna Teri 0]

Thank you for the encouragement, but I haven't got the surgery yet, I'm waiting to be presented. I haven't lost weight, but I've definetly lost inches and one size. You see, I diligently work out 20 1/2 hours a week. I walk 1 mile first thing in the morning and then 2 hour Water auerobics, everyday, 7 days a week. I haven't felt physically this good in years. I've been sticking to around 1500 calories a day. I eat no whites, meaning sugar, flour,rice, potatoes etc. Just had a root canal and am having major dental work done, so I started on the liquid diet Friday and I'm staying on it until I go for my last program appt. on the 28th. I'm down, because of the Kaiser bariatric program I'm in. I gained 3 pounds since I had my bariatric orientation in June, but I ignored it, because I know I'm doing all the healthy good things I can do for my body, mind and spirit . Kaiser dietician told me if I didn't lose the 3 pounds by the 28th I wouldn't be presented to the surgeon. I intentionallly don't weigh myself before appointments, because I don't want the numbers to discourage me. I know being on the liquids I should have no problem losing 3 pounds, but if I don't, despite all the other positives, they are threatening me with more delays, I've already been waiting 2 years. This was a last resort, severe restriction of calories, otherwise I'd do it on my own. You are in my prayers, I know how difficult it is, and thousands have it far worse then me.

[sschell1 0]

:smile2:Have you gone to your Dr. for help? If you feel like you can't get the help you need there, then find another Dr. who will help you.