Ideas on how to keep my surgery private from coworkers?

[snowflake21al 0]

I can completely understand why you want to keep it private because once you tell everyone there is this expectation of losing a ton of weight in a short time frame(because most people are ignorant in regards to gastric banding vs bypass). They don't realize that with the band you aren't going to lose weight as fast. Since I was banded back on Sept 11 all of my coworkers ask me all the time how much weight I have lost and I hate to keep telling them the same number because I have hit a plateau. It's embarassing when people think you should be losing but your not, but they also don't understand the banding process. I pretty much had to tell my coworkers because of all the doctors appts and everything leading up to getting approved by insurance...I wish I didn't though so I wouldn't have this high expectation hanging over my head everyday...

[dwrd73 0]

I like what Michee did. I think this is the best advice.

My story is different. My wife and I both got banded and we both work in the same school. We are both teachers. I did not want to tell anyone b/c my BMI was lower and several close friends and family members did not think it was necessary for me. Anyway my surgery was done in August before going back to school so I didn't miss any school days. When my wife had surgery she had to miss a teacher inservice so she told our principal and a few others about the band. I was absent the same day, healing from surgery, but everyone at work just thought I was with my wife at the hospital. I was, just in another room.

Anyway only two people at our school know about me. One had the same surgery several months before us and the other a good friend of my wife. Both understand why I am keeping quiet. It's funny sometimes when people come up to me and ask how my wife is doing or say wow your wife is losing a lot a weight. Finally the other day someone said they noticed my face is looking thinner as well. It better after droping 30 pounds. But noone has asked me what I am doing yet. I figure after another 10 - 20 pounds people are going to have to notice and say something.

Eventually I will tell. I really do not care what others think. I'm just glad i am the thinnest male teacher in my halway now. Perhaps my decision for surgery will encourage other men to get it as well. I rather wait until I am a success story to share my decision.

[Emilie1 3]

See if your PCP will write a Dr. note saying that you are unable to lift more than so much weight for what ever period of time due to abdominal surgery. You should not have to be any more specific than that. Good luck....

[ladybugchaser 0]

Hi Adamsmom...

I was like you...wanted it private. But I also refused to lie about it!!! You will probably have plenty of time over the Christmas holiday to recover plenty. That being said - how have I been able to keep it from people? Like someone else said...I ended up having a hernia so I mentioned to a few people I'd had that done. No one really cares....lol...You can still see my IV hole but it looks like a freckle. My closest friend at work was extremely negative when I mentioned it to her months ago..hurt my feelings so I never spoke about it again to her. She's significantly overweight herself and was more worried about what it would do to HER, than how it was going to positively effect my health issues. I took a Friday/Monday/Tuesday off....lol...mentioned leading up to it that I just wanted some time for R&R, rest and relaxation....lol....I also plan on running a 5k later this year....so when i started my pre op diet, I would give her updates like...I lost 2 lbs this week!!! So...she equates my weight loss with my healthier eating which she sees being tied to my 5k prep. I was very careful when I returned to work to not bend down or grimace with her around...etc...Later, down the road...I am sure I will tell her and I could care less what she thinks. I was so hurt by her initial selfish reaction that it's already changed the way I see her. I will divulge info. as I see fit. I have Protein shakes, pudding...etc... in my tiny office fridge and no one ever questions it. NO ONE. :tongue2:

Good luck...you can do this!

Keep a journal of what you eat, how you feel...as the days pass and you are so happy...it's neat to go back and read about your victories!!! lol....

K

[Losing 2 0]

You could tell them that you had an injury during vacation and it will take a while to heal. Surgery is an injury to your body and it would explain the weight restrictions and not standing too long.

DianaT

My favorite answer is quoted above - this will work best for me, I think. Earlier this month, I'd contemplated using the hernia or gallbladder one and now see the importance of thinking twice about the gallbladder story. I really needed this thread as I begin my 2 wk vaction tommorrow & will be banded this Tuesday. I am so struggling with this for a couple of reasons: My DH & I work together in a huge facility; also, over a year ago a person mentioned wls to my boss and she went on and on about how dangerous it is, etc. I opened my mouth back then and I said I'd been wanting it for years and she gave more reasons it was supposedly - I blanked them all out. However, now that I know how she feels about it - I don't want her to know. The thing is, most folks where we work know of all of my many diets because I always lose very good on all of them. Folks are always asking how I did so well whenever I was on WW, SBD, JC, etc. So I could easily say that I'm actually sticking to an excellent diet plan this time and am just much more successful since I'm now a pro.

So far, I've told one of my co-workers all about what I'm doing and why I haven't told anyone. I have mentioned it to two others that I'm going to 'try' to have it and sort of wish I didn't. But, I'm not so private when I like something and just I'm going through all of this and might eventually just tell it all.

Anyway, I firmly believe that HR or supervisors NEVER need the exact details - a doctors statement saying you've had a procedure should absolutely suffice.

Yes, it's against policy for HR/supervisors to tell your personal info - but, I work at a place where nothing is sacred... someone will tell one and so on and so on. So, if you don't want it known, stick with something very simple to keep up with, such as the one above.

I really like this thread.

Good Luck

[aprilapple 1]

My story is like Michee. I told my immediate supervisor that I had hernia surgery. My eating wasn't questioned at all because of that.

[adamsmom 4]

Wow! you folks are amazing! What wonderful, insightful responses. I like the hernia idea, especially because I did have to have an umbilical hernia repaired a few years ago, and you are more likely to get hernias once you've had them before. I can relate to the teacher--I am a vice principal. My principal is a big blabber mouth--she will even gossip about her own family. Something juicy like this would fuel her fire. there have been things I have told her in confidence that have come back to me! My HR deptartment is not as confidential as it should be either. Some parts of my day are doing paperwork, reading and writing emails related to the job. :thumbup:Other parts of my day may include lunch duty-on my feet for two hours supervising and breaking up fights until 900 + kids are fed, or I might be chasing down a runaway kindergartner and carrying him, as he struggles, back to the office. :thumbdown:I have a 145 lb 6th grader with epilepsy who has grand mal seizures quite frequently and I have had to catch him when he's fallen. So you see, I can do the "brain" part of my job within 2 weeks post op, but not the "brawn" work. I don't like to lie, but if put in a position where I am being asked personal questions about my healh and/or weight, I will protect my privacy with the hernia story. Thanks for all the great ideas, insights and suggestions.:tongue2:

[aprilapple 1]

Wow! you folks are amazing! What wonderful, insightful responses. I like the hernia idea, especially because I did have to have an umbilical hernia repaired a few years ago, and you are more likely to get hernias once you've had them before. I can relate to the teacher--I am a vice principal. My principal is a big blabber mouth--she will even gossip about her own family. Something juicy like this would fuel her fire. there have been things I have told her in confidence that have come back to me! My HR deptartment is not as confidential as it should be either. Some parts of my day are doing paperwork, reading and writing emails related to the job. :thumbup:Other parts of my day may include lunch duty-on my feet for two hours supervising and breaking up fights until 900 + kids are fed, or I might be chasing down a runaway kindergartner and carrying him, as he struggles, back to the office. :thumbdown:I have a 145 lb 6th grader with epilepsy who has grand mal seizures quite frequently and I have had to catch him when he's fallen. So you see, I can do the "brain" part of my job within 2 weeks post op, but not the "brawn" work. I don't like to lie, but if put in a position where I am being asked personal questions about my healh and/or weight, I will protect my privacy with the hernia story. Thanks for all the great ideas, insights and suggestions.:tongue2:

We have a lot in common! I am an assistant principal as well. I told my principal that I was having hernia surgery ( I have a hiatal hernia that I thought would be removed but I found out after surgery that the doc did not feel a need to remove it). So my original reason was partly true. I had the sick days so I took them. I did not have to tell anyone at central office anything other than when I signed my time sheet, I indicated using those days. My principal is really cool. We are like peas and carrots but I did not feel compelled to tell him that I was getting banded. I took 1 week off. Take you a throw pillow for your desk chair after surgery. If you get it done over xmas you will be more than ok. I wish I could have had mine done over the summer.

[sistasassy 6]

I wonder if you could get away with saying you just had exploratory surgery and cannot lift due to a weight restriction which you could get a note from your doc about that. Technically, it is an expedition when they go in looking for the stomach. You just don't have to tell anyone that they left a little something behind while they were in there. :tongue2:

If anyone asks what they were looking for, just say you were having some stomach problems (which would be true since we want to eat less and haven't been able to on our own) and they went in, checked things out, and believe they have resolved the issue. Then, change the subject.

A lady I worked with had a complete hysterectomy while on vacation and no one knew for a long time. She just said she had surgery while out and it was no big deal. She then changed the subject and that was the end of it. It wasn't until months later that our office manager opened her big fat mouth and told everyone. Sooooo rude. She never could keep anything to herself. Hence the reason I no longer work there. I moved on to a place with an excellent privacy policy.

[gentylwind 1]

All you need is a note on your physician's script pad stating you can't do XYZ until such and such date. Your work has no legal right to inquire as to why.

[TQUAD64 9]

I do not tell my private matters to my co-workers. When I need time off to manage personal issues, I utilize vacation time. I feel it is best in any matter involving your personal life to keep it to yourself and not involve co-workers. This keeps you safe.

I am not telling my friends. Again, I don't discuss my health issues with others. If I need medical opinions, I will seek them from the staff/surgeon at the hospital that I am going to for banding. When I had cysts removed from my right ovary, I didn't feel the need to discuss it with co-workers or friends. Like-wise when I had emergnecy gall-bladder surgery, I did not tell anyone my medical issue.

My family knows I am having surgery, but they do not know for what. I have kept it very vague, but yet open enough, so that they can help me with my recovery.

I will have three weeks off during the Christmas break and plan on having the procedure done then. I have a stationary job, so that makes it easier for my return to work. But if I had to stand for a long time or lift, I would ask my PC doctor to write me a note to excuse me from those activities. Remember, you medical information is protected by HIPPA.

Best of luck to you!

[Melolo 0]

I was banded one year ago. No one at work knows.

I said I had emergency hiatal hernia surgery.

That was I didnt tell anyone before the surgery, it turned out to be true because the band doc found and repaired a hiatal hernia. Apparenty they occur in about 50% of the obese.

The cool thing is that at lunch, when I was on liquids then mushies I explained that it was due to hernia surgery. A guy at work had hiatal hernia surgery years before, and he said, oh yeah and some foods are really hard to get down, even months after the surgery (lol).

I came back from surgery with a note that said I had surgery (in order to use sick days)

I would avoid the gall bladder thing, I am not sure that the scar is in the same place, and what would happen if you really did have gall bladder issues, or if someone from work said I am having gall bladder issues too, can I have some advice?

In terms of the weight loss, people see that I dont eat much, and what I do eat is healthy, that I exercise, and drink lots of Water, and never partake in birthday cake etc.................no one is surprised that this behaviour has led to an 80 pound weight loss in one year.

Congratulations on getting banded.

Remember, if you dont tell, you can always change your mind later and tell, but once you have told, you cant untell.

I have only told one person on my job and that's because I had discussed it with her before. As far as everyone else is concern is non of their business. Plus...I'm thinking the same way Michee is thinking I've started eating less at lunch and I'm eating healthier. They haven't seen me digest a double cheeseburger and fries in a very long time.:thumbup: I'm also out for two weeks during the Christmas and New Year holidays. You have picked a very good time to go ahead and get your surgery. If it wasn't for the fact that I was banded in August I would've picked this time as well. Congrats.

[CrimsonDawn 0]

I am telling work that I am getting my hiatal hernia fixed. It makes sense to change your diet since it can be caused by obesity. I didn't want to be under a microscope regarding my weight loss. Good luck with your decision.