Why can't people just be happy for a person?

[Apples2 19]

I am a few pounds away from goal. My goal weight was discussed at the beginning of this process between my dr., myself, his team of nurses, my dietician and my husband. I am striving for a healthy weight and it's a reasonable one. I have lost count of the number of people (some are supposed friends) who think it is their responsibility to walk up to me in public and say: "You'd better not lose any more weight". Where do they get off? I just state that I am at goal (don't even want to explain I have a few more to lose) and I walk away.

I have the friends that have been encouraging throughout this entire process. They are the ones that say that I have not looked more healthy and happy and are pushing for me to get to goal. Guess I just answered my own question........stick with what my friends say that have been there for me and blow the others off.

[Jachut 487]

Precisely. There's lots of people out there very threatened by a) success and :cool2: a normal healthy weight.

I have faced WAY more judgement, negativity and overly personal remarks about my weight and appearance as a thin person than as a heavier one. Some of it right here on this forum.

Stay true to yourself, that's all you can do.

[crzytchr 3]

I haven't experienced that yet, probably because I am nowhere near my goal. I have at least a year to go. If I face negativity, I hope to have the strength to walk away. I don't plan on working my butt off to have jealous people rain on my parade! Try to ignore the haters and enjoy your success.

[Apples2 19]

Jachut...how true. Guess I never thought of the fact that I did not ever have someone push their negative thoughts on me when I was obese. Maybe behind my back but who cares. I do consider myself to be healthier than I have been for years. I work out, I make sure I get my nutrients and I truly have more energy than I did when I was 20 (33 yrs ago). I am happy for me and every day am thankful that I had enough guts to go through this. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

[Apples2 19]

I haven't experienced that yet, probably because I am nowhere near my goal. I have at least a year to go. If I face negativity, I hope to have the strength to walk away. I don't plan on working my butt off to have jealous people rain on my parade! Try to ignore the haters and enjoy your success.

Thanks, I really try to just turn on a heel and head out of situations like this. Still gets to me sometimes.

Good luck to you and wishing you a good trip down the Lapband road.

[plain 12]

I am a few pounds away from goal. My goal weight was discussed at the beginning of this process between my dr., myself, his team of nurses, my dietician and my husband. I am striving for a healthy weight and it's a reasonable one. I have lost count of the number of people (some are supposed friends) who think it is their responsibility to walk up to me in public and say: "You'd better not lose any more weight". Where do they get off? I just state that I am at goal (don't even want to explain I have a few more to lose) and I walk away.

I have the friends that have been encouraging throughout this entire process. They are the ones that say that I have not looked more healthy and happy and are pushing for me to get to goal. Guess I just answered my own question........stick with what my friends say that have been there for me and blow the others off.

First, congrats on the weight loss! Good job.

I know that I didn't hear the tone of what was said, but is it possible that this person was, in their own way, trying to give you a compliment? It sounds like something I would say when I wanted to compliment somebody but keep things light. Example:

Me: wow, you've lost a lot of weight. You look great. (comes off as kind of creepy and direct. bad)

Me: Hey, look at you. If you lose any more weight we'll lose sight of you! (trying to honor the achievement of losing the weight, but being a little more "playful" about it)

[Apples2 19]

Nope, Plain, just a straight out "You'd better not lose any more weight". I guess I am frustrated because I have heard it so much in the last two months and am feeling soooo healthy and where I want to be. I do have patience for the type of "talk" you are explaining. I am a pretty easy going person and understand that most people mean well.

Are you trying to tell me, Plain, that you have a tendency to stick a foot or two in your mouth? LOL

[plain 12]

What, me? Never. Ok, that was a lie.

[heartfire 4]

"You'd better not lose any more weight".

Response: "Hmmm, last time I looked, it wasn't any of your business!"

Granted it's not subtle but it gets your point across! They aren't being nice or subtle, no reason for you to be either. I think they're being down-right RUDE!!

And congrats on getting to goal!! That's wonderful!!

[Apples2 19]

Thanks, Heart...

[Kat817 19]

I too get the comment from people, and with some of them it is done in a humorous way such as Plain said, and in other cases it feels like they are ORDERING me not to lose any more weight!!!

I just respond to them all that I am almost done....if they pursue it, and a couple have I tell them, I am eating healthy, and exercising, but not actively trying to lose more weight, so when my body decides it is time to stop we will, til then health is my goal, not a number on the scale.

No one has been out and out rude.....more concerned. I find the ones saying that to me to be my Moms friends, not sure why, but they seem to be the ones convinced I am now thin enough!! LOL

But that's ok, they are pretty easy to ignore once I walk away!!!

Kat

[Apples2 19]

Oh...the mom friends. Aren't they cute? They are usually on a "need to know basis". I just have to toughen up and learn to not be so sensitive. I am almost wishing people would have said something when I was struggling and really heavy. Maybe it would have pushed me into doing the LB earlier. All I know is I am very happy to be where I am at and where my doc wants me to be. I just have to have some "canned" responses ready where I hear certain comments about not losing too much.

Kat, are you satisfied with your TT?

[Kat817 19]

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my TT!!! Not having that hanging belly skin to tuck into pants.....looking in the mirror sideways and loving it-- I love it all!!!

My PS used a little bit different cut, but it ended up great!!!

He began at one hip bone and made an angle cut down to the "corner" of the pubic bone, then straight across right at where the pubic hairline is, then back up at an angle to the other hip bone. When I look at it straight on in the mirror, the only incision that shows is across the top of the pubic bone. Usually that is soon covered with pubic hair.

I would do it again in a second! I love not feeling like I need to suck it in, and that do me no good.

It was not as painful as I anticipated it being, but I did not have a lot to lipo---just a lot to cut off!! I had lost the love handles etc that they usually lipo---so it was minimal. He did do some, and also did a mons lift at the same time.

Kat

[Apples2 19]

So happy for you, Kat. Sounds like your PS did a great job. Relief for you not to have to have too much Lipo. Lipo scares me.

I think I am going to come out of this weight loss without having to do any cosmetic surgery. I am now in a size 6 jeans and don't need to "tuck" any extra skin in to zip them up. I don't have a muffin top or the back fat thing going on (where the fat sticks out where the bra lays). 6 months ago I was almost sure that I would need to go under the knife. Why go to all this work just to be disgusted with the belly? I admire you for going the extra mile and for sharing it with the rest of us.

[LoveIslovely 0]

Wow Kat, congrats! Your are definitely and inspiration to me, I have your same height and starting weight. Your success just made me shed a tear because it reminds me that a change is possible, thank you so much.