Desperate Housewives - Fat Kids

[Daisalana 33]

Any of you watch it tonight? Gabby & her kids are fat..

I watched it with my mom, and I felt so akward. I wanted to make comments about how the daughter ate half a sheet cake, and she's suppose to be 4, etc.

I was that kid, so I was mixed with emberassment, and was wondering what my mom was thinking, so it was just akward all around. Like her trying on the princess costume-- that was me. My mom had to hand make my clothes, and alter clothes we'd find in the store so I could 'fit in'.

Just made me cringe.

Then I thought, these girls really are this fat.. in real life. What are their parents doing about it?? But, what did my mom do about it? :biggrin:

[MacMadame 81]

Then I thought, these girls really are this fat.. in real life. What are their parents doing about it?? But, what did my mom do about it? :biggrin:

What could she do about it? Probably nothing. There are things you can do to instill good eating habits in your kids and maybe prevent obesity, but once a kid gets fat, the parent is helpless. You can't *make* another person lose weight and most of what you'd try only makes the situation worse.

I go through this with my kids. MacBoy is a stick but I still worry because he is a picky eater and has bad habits. Mini-Mac was this tiny thing but she's starting to go through puberty and she's pudged up. She's horribly embarrassed about it but anything I try to help her makes it worse. She interprets it as putting pressure on her even when it's something we agreed to together.

[green 6]

I watched that show last night and I, too, was wondering what I would have done had I had a child as fat as Gaby's four year old. I was solid but never in that league. The casting of that child is quite interesting. The kid really is a fat child and she can look quite malevolant, quite defiant. It is difficult to like her. She really plays her part very, very well. So much so that one wonders what the kid is like in real life. One also wonders what the writers have in store for her. Perhaps we will come to very much empathize with the child.

The deglamourization of Gabby is another fascinating plot twist. She is losing her looks and is feeling this loss keenly. This will give rise to plots/commentary hinging on the problems we have with our identities: looks and self-love/self-loathing.

Bree hasn't changed, eh? Actually, none of the other women have, just their circumstances. I love the show.

By the way, Fairy, congratulations on your weight loss.

[Daisalana 33]

Good point Mac, and I don't know how I would have taken it, my mom (unlike some friends' moms, even though my friends were average size) never once tried to push me to lose weight. I was literally oblivious to being overweight till I was in my teens.

I just thought I was a big girl, since I am also taller than all my friends.

So on one hand, my mom did a great job of making me love myself, no matter what.. And I did. Only reason I went thru with the band, was due to crippling back pain. I thought I was smoking hot at 333lb! But no matter what weight I am, I don't suffer from self-esteem issues.. and I owe that to her.

But then on the other hand, as a new-mom-to-be I am really scared about my kids being overweight. I don't want to be the mom who nags their kid about their weight, so I really plan to research healthy eating for kids, and not making it seem like a vanity thing. Morbid obesity, and diabetes is rampant in my family. My great g'ma, was bed ridden and died at the age of 35 from being so large. I was headed that way. I don't want my kids to be that way.

[Daisalana 33]

Oh but as for the rest of the show.. I'm glad it's back on, I'm curious to see if this 5-years-later thing ends up being how this show "jumps the shark".

I don't like the Susan Mike thing, at all.

Anyone wonder why we don't see Penny?? (Lynette's daughter).... she'd be about 8 by now, and would be a part of the family. I wonder why she's no where to be found.

[heartfire 4]

But then on the other hand, as a new-mom-to-be I am really scared about my kids being overweight. I don't want to be the mom who nags their kid about their weight, so I really plan to research healthy eating for kids, and not making it seem like a vanity thing. Morbid obesity, and diabetes is rampant in my family. My great g'ma, was bed ridden and died at the age of 35 from being so large. I was headed that way. I don't want my kids to be that way.

I don't watch Desperate but I, for whatever reason, clicked to read your thread and am glad I did.

I have a 2 year old DD. She was adopted when we brought her home from the hospital at 2 days old. I just got the band last month and am on my way to a healthy weight.

DD picking up my bad habits was/is a big fear of mine. But I have to tell you that I think she'll be okay. Not to say she will never have a weight problem. I don't know and can't predict it. BUT I am doing my best to change how our family looks at food and acts about it. She has turned out to be a great eater. She will try just about everything. We get fresh, organic veggies from a local farm every week and she will always try stuff. She LIKES bok choy and spinach!! She does get chips and fries sometimes but it's not a staple in our house. If there's dessert, it's usually a full-fruit squeeze pop or SF pudding. The Cookies we have in the house are Kashi's Trail Mix Cookies and she can only have one in a day.

Now, when we're out, that can be a little harder. She loves her potatoes and fries are always at the top of her list. I usually order something and then get a plate for her so we can share. She does pretty good. She's also really active and loves anything to do with balls! We went to a b-day party for a 4 year old friend at a bowling alley last weekend and she had a blast! Actually did better than the older kids! We weren't even sure she was going to try it, let alone have so much fun!

There are only so many things you can control. You can't control how your and your DH's genes are going to work themselves up in your new little one. BUT you can control what you bring into your house and what you order in an eating establishment. DD's grandma gives her more candy than I like BUT she doesn't get candy very often. That kind of stuff. You can control how active your family is but you can't control the local school eliminating recess.

We've been taking DD into the woods (we live in the mtns near Yosemite) and going for walks. As she gets older and I lose more weight and get into better shape, we want to do more hikes and instill in her a love of the outdoors. We like to go camping but haven't been in awhile. I'm hoping we can go this next month. But I think if we show her a love of the outdoors and the activity it involves, she'll carry that through her adult life and even if she does have a weight problem, I hope it's minor and that she can stay active.

You really can't stress or worry about the genes side of the equation. There is NOTHING you can do about it! You can take lessons learned from your mom and the lessons you've learned as a healthy bandster and change things that way. Your baby eats what you do. You don't have "your" food and "child's" food in the house. It's family food and mostly healthy, good stuff!

Sorry this got so long. I just sounded a lot like you not too long ago and wanted to let you know what I figured out.

Take care and congrats on your new baby!!!

[MacMadame 81]

"There is only so much you can control"

This is SO TRUE. When I had my first, I got this great book "how to get our kids to eat... but not too much" and it points out that we decide what and when our kids eat and they control how much. It's easy to get into battles about food that we can't win and turn food into a control issue.

The other thing families do is label kids. In our family, I was the fat one but my sister who was the same size as me was just big boned. I constantly got nagged about my weight but she never did. Clearly our family wasn't being *logical* about it as we both became morbidly obese adults.

[Daisalana 33]

Thanks Heart, that's a lot of good info and something to think about.

[losingjusme 12]

But then on the other hand, as a new-mom-to-be I am really scared about my kids being overweight. I don't want to be the mom who nags their kid about their weight, so I really plan to research healthy eating for kids, and not making it seem like a vanity thing.

this petrifies me ... my DD is adopted, not a 'fat girl' gene in her body - in fact she will be 5 in December and just hit 30 pounds last week... but she's healthy....

we were at an authentic Chinese restaurant this weekend and there was a little girl there (Chinese) and she was REALLY big ... might have been 16-18 months and had to weigh at least 30 pounds... the only comment i made to my DH was that she had ankle bracelets on and they were literally cutting into her skin .. and what my DH said kind of disturbed me ... "did you see her mom?" ... well her mom was a big girl too ... probably about 5'5" and at least 200 pounds...

i do NOT want to have an obese child ... just cause i'm big does not mean my DD/DS will be big... i have no clue what to do... i know there's nothing that can be done right now except me eat well 90% of the time... but what about after they are born??

i havent watched the show yet, last night is on DVR ... guess i have somethign to do if DD takes a rest...