My step-mother knows everything...(long)

[BeckyinTn 0]

Please don't listen to her! She is a toxic person in your life! I had one of those whom I thought was a friend! I had talked about WLS back in 2006 and I let this person and her views talk me out of it! She kept telling me that if I really wanted to lose the weight we could go on a buddy system and do it together. She was never there to be a part of the buddy system. She also kept telling me that I really didn't want something implanted in my body. This is also the friend who pointed out regularly that she was the "smaller" of the two of us. I had finally had enough and started the WLS process and then she started again with the comments. My DH finally said to me one day " she doesn't want you to have this because if you suceed and you will then she will end being the "bigger" one of the two of you and she can't have that!" It made me stop and think that he was right. Long story short she is really not apart of my life anymore and I have found that as long as I went with what she said and didn't disagree with her then we got along just fine. I don't want a one-sided relationship with anyone. Your step mother sounds just like my friend and she doen't want you to suceed. I know you can't cut her out of your life but you can limit the access she has!

[tapshoes 2]

Well obviously lesson learned - your SM is not someone with whom you can have conversations. Keep this is mind when other life events raise their head!

I would be polite as is required in any setting with her, but otherwise, forget her.

Question: is she likely to discuss this (including her 'wisdom') with other family? Be prepared.

[Mom2_4 0]

This is YOUR life and YOUR decision. She sounds like she is just jealous and wants someone else to be in the same rut that she is. Even when you lose your weight and get where you want to be, she will be the one making comments like, 'she couldn't do it without cheating.' But honestly, you will not regret having this surgery, it will change your life, health, self esteem, and every other aspect of your life and those rude comments will make you laugh. Also, make sure as you go down in sizes, you offer your plus sized clothes since you have no use for them anymore :biggrin:

Good luck with your surgery!

[Sandy Beach 4]

Thats why I keep my own council. I never have conflict with myself. You do not need aproval from Mom. My Mother does not have a clue about my band. I only told my supportive DH and DD.

[sistasassy 6]

I have had the same conversation with a number of people and I now don't converse with them about that topic anymore AND, if the situation calls for it, I flat tell them that.

I have had one very negative person, my grandpa, who someone converted into a supporter. He goes to "exercise club", as he puts it, with a woman who had the bypass and she is doing great. He is now onboard for my surgery and understands that it is a different surgery and my loss will most likely be slower.

Now he wants to be the one to take me to surgery.

Your step-mother may also be reacting from jealousy because you are fixing to lose weight and she will still be "heavy".

Just avoid the subject with her....walk away and grit your teeth...and look forward to being a healthier you. You ARE doing the right thing!

[♥Amy♥ 5]

Thank you so much, everyone, for the supportive and encouraging words.

You have no idea how much it means to me.

And yes...she is a hater.

[flowers 0]

Im not sure this will help as you sound young, but no matter your age, parents or others in your life will say things like this, you just have to make up your own mind.

Im much much older than you, both my parents are too thin, in fact my dad had to have a feeding tube because he cant make himself eat enough (sighs). I heard the same things you are telling me. If you have to go on a diet anyway, why get the lapband, its a lot of money (I was self pay). Why cant you just go back on nutrisystem, you did really well on that diet (but I gained it all back and then some when life became tough).

Sometimes you just have to make the decision for you, not for what others will approve, just what is best for you.

[BethFromVA 5]

Thank you so much' date=' everyone, for the supportive and encouraging words.

You have no idea how much it means to me.

And yes...she is a hater. :biggrin:[/quote']

Well, then she can hate a thinner, healthier you.

And I LOVE somebody else's suggestion that you offer her your clothes as they get too big for you! :thumbup: