Telecia 1 Posted October 2, 2008 Been there done that. All I can say on the matter is be open and honest with your partner from the start, And set rules. My ex talked me into threesomes and more and I was dumb enough to get talked/tricked into it. While the actual sex was good many times the reasons behind it sucked and were deceptive. The ex wanted to swing because he was in the closet gay and wanted to get me used to the idea of him having sex with guys. Needless to say we seperated in 2000 after 13 years together. However I think if a couple is TOTALLY honest with each other and set rules and limits it can be done successfully. But both have to be willing and the reasoning behind the desire totally understood and accepted. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ksill18 0 Posted October 2, 2008 dang I am sorry to hear that......but yes we are totally open and honest. the both of us have been together since we were 14.....none of us had any other sexual partners......... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maggies 0 Posted October 2, 2008 OK, your not going to like this. Were you and your wife listening to your wedding vows when you got married? You cannot have any respect for your wife if you want her to do this and I believe you are on the road to divorce. I hope you don't have any kids involved in this train wreck of a marriage. Just my opinion, take it or leave it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ksill18 0 Posted October 2, 2008 rofl your a mess maggie....get with the real world. train wreck of a marriage it is not. we are happily married and we love each other. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maggies 0 Posted October 2, 2008 Sorry, but if you are happily married, WHY do you want somebody else??? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ksill18 0 Posted October 2, 2008 listen if you dont agree with the topic then please dont respond. the personal attacks by you are uncalled for. my 2 cents Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskitty84 0 Posted October 2, 2008 Maggies - just because you are married (or in a committed relationship) doesn't mean you stop being sexually attracted to other people. I have had a couple threesomes before (with the same people). The first time was a lot of fun but the second one was kind of awkward because me and the girl (we'd been friends for a couple years) developed feelings for each other and we were just doing it to be together again. I will say overall it was a great experience and I'd love to do it again but at this point in my relationship with my boyfriend I am not ready to add that extra element in and risk damaging our relationship. To the OP - whatever you do, have fun! I would also suggest not having that 3rd person be a friend... because friends can make the situation very uncomfortable afterwards. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ksill18 0 Posted October 2, 2008 well said misskitty. maggie being an "older" woman comes from a different era so she wouldn't understand. the rest of us live it up!!! life is short!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
plain 12 Posted October 2, 2008 Maybe I'm too old as well. The idea of a threesome, strictly as a fantasy, has a certain appeal....but the reality would be a mess. In my younger days I certainly had opportunities, but I managed to avoid avoid avoid. I would look at it like this: There is a risk (however slight) that this action may damage your marriage. Personally, I'm not willing to take that risk for sex....I gots no complaints in that department anyway. I wish you both , uh, luck? lol.....I wonder what "good luck" in this context would entail?!? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smsmithart 4 Posted October 2, 2008 i have a bunch of times mostly 2 guys only 1 time with another girl... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Renob 1 Posted October 2, 2008 (edited) maggie being an "older" woman comes from a different era so she wouldn't understand. Way to lump people into a group just based on age lol, when age has nothing to do with it!!! Now I’m not defending her statement, Im just pointing out that yours is as narrow minded as hers!!! Remeber the "life is short" can work both ways in that its very very easy to screw it up. Edited October 2, 2008 by Renob Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
green 6 Posted October 2, 2008 well said misskitty. maggie being an "older" woman comes from a different era so she wouldn't understand. the rest of us live it up!!! life is short!!! Hey! I don't think that it is a question of Maggie's age. She is simply quite conventional in her comfort level and thus doesn't get it. Maybe she is religious. Remember that I am older than she is and that I have done a 3-some and a 4-some. I have done a lot of other interesting stuff, too. I was always quite a curious grrl. Some folks are more curious than others is all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DivaStyleCoach 89 Posted October 2, 2008 Hey Ladies, I've not done it, but my DH has broached the subject. I'm intrigued but nervous, because I have had my own body issues for quite a while, and I'm not sure I WANT another person involved. DH would love for it to be a bi-sexual woman...since I'm not sure, I've said no to date. :w00t: I watched a semi-bad movie titled "Trois" - it's part of a series of movies, and in it, the married couple brought another woman (bisexual) into their marriage at the husband's insistence. Of course for dramatic effect, it ended badly with the second woman falling for the wife and the husband reacting badly because he wanted her to want him...I just am scared that type of thing will happen. :redface: Because my DH has done some online flirting, I also do not think I will react well to seeing him aroused and interested in another woman...no matter what her sexual orientation. Please be careful - make sure you are both ready for WHATEVER might happen. Adding another person to your relationship can be sexy, fun and exciting, but it can open up a whole can of worms if you have not talked out all of the possibilities. What if one of you 'catches feelings' for the extra partner? What does that mean for your relationship? How will you verify that your potential partner is healthy and does not bring 'extra' to the relationship that you don't want? Not having done this, I'm sure you'll take my concerns with a grain of salt, but I'd hate for the experience to end negatively for you... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sunwyse 1 Posted October 4, 2008 ok so it was friends that you had it with.....we really dont have too many friends.....was wondering if there are other ways of meeting "these" people. We are new at this and very nervous. Excuse me. What exactly do you mean by "these" people? If there is something wrong with "these" people that they need to be singled out as "these" then why on earth bother having sex with one? I happen to be one of "these" people. I think I have quite strong morals thank you. I am a decent person who holds a job and pays my own way in life. I am responsible, caring, genuine and love to have a laugh. In short, I am a person. A human being. I happen to think enjoying myself and my life is more important than artificial morals laid down by some church people over 1,000 years ago. You re not visiting animals in the zoo. You are looking at doing something intimate with a third person in your relationship. In these matters its usually better to let the woman choose who that partner will be. I have to say though, that if you are that judgemental, then I certainly wouldn't want to know you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ksill18 0 Posted October 4, 2008 sunwyse you have to be dumb as rocks. go back and read the entire thread again. what i meant by '"these" people was people who are into this sort of thing. did not mean anything bad. so please get off your high horse and pull your head out of your ass. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites