Disappointed~?~

[JenFenRen 0]

Hi all, I am new to this site and have read tons of interesting and helpful stuff.

I was having a conversation with my best friend who was telling her sister than I am having LB (October 20th!). Her sister basically made the comment (which I agree with) why doesn't she do it on her own? She knows smart nutrition, knows she should exercise, she knows what to do to lose the weight. I kinda feel like she is right. I do know smart nutrition, and how to exercise and what to do. I am just too damn lazy. And, I don't have a frame of reference for being healthy or thin. I have always been overweight, and literally cannot remember being under 200 lbs or not having to shop in the plus sized section. Bottom line is this, I feel guilty over "taking the easy way out". I KNOW that this wont be easy, but I feel it is a more feasible option than trying to lose 116 lbs on my own through diet and exercise alone. Should I feel guilty that people work their asses off exercising and eating tiny amount sof uber healthy food to maintain their weight? Or, am I overanalyzing and should just be grateful that I get a chance to be healthy and that I have made the right decision for me. How do you deal with the mental stuff?

[kteggers 0]

I think some people (GIRLS) are just jealous that you have decided to do something good for yourself and you may end up prettier and skinnier then themselves. I too have had that comment made, but what i think is that once i have the band, i will know that this is just a tool to help me and it's still going to be alot of work. Once i've gone through all the hoops and I have the scars it will be a reminder for what i must do to get down to a normal weight. I think for myself it's going to be a mental tool, maybe even more than a physical tool.

Just keep in mind the band is something people choose for themselves, i think it's a personal choice. I'm not telling alot of people for the exact reason you have listed above. Some people don't understand what it's like to be me, to be 230lbs overweight. People just shouldn't talk unless they know what it's like.

Good luck with your desicion.

Katie

[travelinsnorkel 0]

I think that a lot of us go through thinking that we have failed or aren't good enough because we can't lose the weight on our own. However, I also think that people that only need to lose 15-20 pounds have a very different perspective than those of us who are 100lbs overweight. It doesn't mean that you are lazy. I have tried every diet known to man and I do work out and still haven't been able to lose the weight. There are a lot of factors that play into. You are doing the right things! Good luck!

[Mamacj 0]

Has your friends sister lost 116 lbs? If not, maybe she should look at the big picture. I know it can be done with diet and exercise, but sometimes we need a little help, a tool to use to get to our goal. I will get my band on Oct 9th, and I know what a relief it is to know I will have some help with this struggle. I have to say, I have tried it all and it works for a while, then I gain the weight back. The band will help me to stop this vicious cycle of weight loss and regain.

So, I hope your friend is supportive of you even if her sister isn't. Best wishes!! :confused:

[ncsoutherngirl 0]

Don't let other people get to you. Maybe other people can do it on their own, I could not. I was banded on August 15 and I have lost 25 pounds including the 8 pounds I lost with the 2 week diet prior to surgery. I'm 40 and I figured if I haven't lost it by now I would never lose it. Being banded was my last option and I'm glad I did it. You are going to get different reactions from everyone some will be good and some will be bad. Just hold your head up high. Do this for you and no one else. By the way...I had a "skinny friend" who told me just to back away from the table. She had a baby and gained weight, not alot but enough that she needed to diet to get in her clothes. The other day she told me, "This isn't easy. I'm sorry I thought it was as easy as backing away from the table but it's not." Get your band girl and be proud of it. Oh and as you said, this is not an easy way out. I still watch what I eat but I just can't eat as much. Remember, do this for you to make yourself healther. Good luck.

[ld0008 0]

Jen, I knew I could not do it on my own. I know how to eat right, exercise, etc. I did not have the discipline to do those things myself. My will and addiction to overeat was much stronger than my strength to be disciplined. I know because i tried over and over again and failed. I would take some weight off (20 lbs at the most) then put it back on and more. I had the lapband on march 3 and the band has given me discipline when it comes to eating. I can't eat a lot now and if I do, I experience pain or become sick. Neither of these happen often because I don't like to feel pain or become sick. So in essence, the lapband has helped me to become more disciplined.

some people are really disciplined and when they say they will do something, they do it. Those people I believe are the ones that succeed at weight loss on their own. I am not one of those people at least not with weight loss.

I think you need to decide whether or not you can lose weight on your own and keep it off. If you can, that's great do it on your own. If you can not do it on your own, the lapband is a great tool to help and don't even feel the least bit guilty. I am glad there are tools available to us that are less disciplined.

Hope this helps. good luck with your decision.

[Sarah.R 2]

Sure you could do it on your own but have you ever heard the statistic that 90% of people that loose that weight gain it back over 5 years, alot of people will disagree with me but in fact it's actually the truth, I even saw a guy on oprah one time who came back 5 years later and had gained it back plus more, just think to your self, do you want to loose that 110lbs and be happy with yourself? Or loose it and gain it back plus an extra 50lbs or so? If not then just think of it that way, the band is obviously no easy way out especially when alot of people have to deal with the side affects of eating too quickly, not chewing enough and vomitting, so really it's not the easy way out at all.

[Sue Magoo 71]

Hi:

You have to decide what is best for you. It is not "the easy way out". It's actually a life-long change in your eating habits, and hopefully a life-long change in your exercise habits too. It has only been a bit over a year for me, but I know that this is the only thing that has worked for me. It works for me because I don't get hungry with the band. Also, if I want something I have it, but just a little bit of it. I am so glad that I did this for me. It has really improved my life and I hope that yours does too.

Sue

[Hollie519 1]

I am 18 and I think I am gorgeous now. lol GIRLS GIVE ME SOOOOOO many dirty looks. Misery loves company. I had a girl who was one of my friends who tried the Optifast and got down to 125 and once she ate real food, she ballooned back up and plus 100. She told me don't get the surgery and you could tell she was hating.

Keep your chin up. Think of it this way, if you have 10 haters, than you need to be working harder to get 20 haters. People who don't have good shit, hate good shit. Excuse my language.

Good luck sweetie!

[~Bridgette~ 0]

I think I could have written your post! Almost 2 years ago, when I *first* heard about lap band and started looking into it, I went to a seminar. I was so excited! I thought: hey, this might be what saves my life! About 2 weeks later, I went to visit my folks. I took my information from the seminar with me. My parents are also overweight, my dad is morbidly obese like me. I've been on every diet known to man and *know* what to do, but it's a matter of putting it into practice. When I talked to my parents, they were not very supportive! They have always viewed folks who have WLS as "taking the easy way out".... They basically said, why will this work when nothing else has worked in the past? I let them put doubt in my head and I even decided to give it a try and do it on my own. I lasted on my diet for 2 weeks. I never exercised. I felt absolutely deflated!

Fast forward to now. I have my surgery scheduled as of a week ago. I have not yet told them about it. I've gone through all of the preauthorization work ups and appointments without telling them. (And I'm an only child who is very close to her parents! I still talk to my mom daily.) I have yet to decide when I will tell them. I would love to have their support this time. I've actually been praying since before I had my psych eval that they would start to be more open-minded about me making my own decisions and to support me.

Now, my parents are currently on their "diet". It's a low-carb kind of diet. Don't get me wrong, it's great. But how many times have they done that diet to lose 20 pounds and put it back on??? I don't want to work so very hard to lose the weight and put it back on! My band will help me to lose more efficiently and more importantly to me, to maintain my loss! That's what excites me the most! The added help to not have to be on that rollercoaster ride of yo-yo dieting!

Sorry to have been so wordy, but your post has really spoken to me! You will do wonderfully! It's definitely not the "easy way out"!

[travelinsnorkel 0]

Wow, that is surprising. Maybe they were just saying that because they were scared for you? My Mom is worried about me having surgery, but also knows that I have battled this my entire life and doesn't want me to die young because of all of the ill effects. Good luck to you! I am an October Bandster too!

[~Bridgette~ 0]

I think that's it. I think they're scared to lose me on the operating table, and I'm scared of that too. But I'm more afraid of dying really early b/c of my high blood pressure and prediabetes (that will turn into diabetes if I don't do something), and any additional complications that come from being so overweight! I told DH, who's totally supportive, I'm going to die sometime, I'd rather die trying to save my life than sitting around doing nothing and getting worse!

[JenFenRen 0]

Thank you to all for your support and inspiration. This decision has been a long time in the making for me. I started two years ago, did all the evaluation testing and then took a year and really thought about what I am going to do. I AM GOING TO DO IT! For me, it is all about being healthy, and a side benefit of the surgery is being even hotter than I am LOL! I am grateful to know that there is a website, and people out there, who can help me when I question my decision. I look forward to reading more of your posts and sharing in my journey with you! Good luck to you all and congratulations on your weight loss.

[Tess415 1]

I do know smart nutrition, and how to exercise and what to do. I am just too damn lazy. And, I don't have a frame of reference for being healthy or thin. I have always been overweight, and literally cannot remember being under 200 lbs or not having to shop in the plus sized section. Bottom line is this, I feel guilty over "taking the easy way out". I KNOW that this wont be easy, but I feel it is a more feasible option than trying to lose 116 lbs on my own through diet and exercise alone. Should I feel guilty that people work their asses off exercising and eating tiny amount sof uber healthy food to maintain their weight? Or, am I overanalyzing and should just be grateful that I get a chance to be healthy and that I have made the right decision for me. How do you deal with the mental stuff?

After my 3rd month of being banded it finally sunk in that it is me that is doing all of the work to lose the weight!!! It is me exercising my ass off and eating healthy and smaller portions!!!!! I don't feel guilty!!! It is not the easy way out! I can't say that enough!!! In order to be a successful lapband patient, you will be working your ass off, and your chin, and your arms etc. Do not allow yourself to listen to others who have no understanding how the band works to think that you are cheating and taking the easy way out!!! It is hard work, and it takes determination and sticking to the rules to get the weight off!!!!

Do what you decide is good for you!!!!! As for me, I wouldn't be doing this any other way!!!!!

[Weas123 0]

It's not like we haven't tried to do it on our own... that's what the band was invented for!

I could have never lost this much on my own and I feel GREAT now! They're just jealous of you, girl!