how do you deal with the negativity

[mommyx2 0]

Hi... i have my first consult on thursday... besides my husband and mother and brother... my best friend... everyone has been supportive.. But i think my best friend (who is overweight also) was a little negative. She kind of sounded worried .. that i would lose weight and she wouldnt.. MIND YOU... we are 33 years old. She has been my weight watchers partner as well... I have lost thirty pounds with her probably six times. IM DONE... i have researched and researched and my decision is made. My heath is more important than worrying about what other people think.. the only two people i really need to worry about are my two children. How are you guys dealing with negativity? either now that you have been banded.. or when you first introduced it to your family and friends :rolleyes2: Thanks...

[ElusiveQuality 22]

It's easier said than done, but ignore it. Most people that know I've been banded are supportive but I've come to learn in recovery that other opinions don't matter. I'm sure of my motivations and actions and I can live and be happy with it.

If you keep looking for other people's approval, you're doing what's in their best interest, not yours. Go forward, be happy.

Good Luck,

Cal

[kmytime2008 0]

hey mommyx2, she is exactly right! I know how you feel. I have had some negativity from co-workers and some friends. But, you know what, I am just not going to worry about them or let them bother me. I have spent my entire life worrying about what others think of me and wanting to be liked for just being me. Not just to be liked by what size or what weight i am. So, forget them. If your friend is a true friend and she probably is, she will get over her feelings. Good luck with the surgery, you will do great! My surgery is this friday. I am so excited and so scared also. But we are doing this for US! not for anyone else.:rolleyes2:

[IM_LORI 0]

You are always going to find people like that. She may also be dealing with what she may interpret as her "fat friend". I think we have sort of a safety net when we are heavy when we hang out with other heavy friends. We feel safe and don't feel like we are being judged. She may be worried that she won't feel the same with you, that you'll move on to bigger better things without her, or that you will start judging or putting her down. She may also be jealous that she isn't able to do it. There a lot of dynamics psychologically that go into play.

The problem I keep encountering, is that I have friends who keep asking me to go out and eat. Or would want me to go do something during my gym time. I finally just got real firm and direct with them and said, "Look, right now my goal weight is my #1 priority in my life. Until that goal is met, EVERYTHING comes 2nd. " They seem to understand it when it's put very bluntly to them.

[ssdown 0]

I told very few people and have kept it that way. It makes life much easier not having to deal with judgment.

[mommyx2 0]

thanks so much everyone!! i love this forum...!! KMYTME.. good luck!!!! WOW THATS AWESOME