My Heart Is Broken

[porclndoll 0]

I am very sorry for your loss.... Know in your heart you have always done your best for him even when he needed you the most.

May you find some peace in memories of him.

[tambonzjo 7]

Like eveyone else here I am sitting here at work with tears streaming. I too am a BIG animal lover. I had to put my "son" Hans Der Wienderschnitzel (dachshund) to sleep April 15th this year. He was almost 17 years old. I got him when he was 3 months old. So I feel your pain more than you will ever know. I still have two cats and three birds.

As hard as it is to say and accept, you gave him back his dignity. He loved you so much that he would not have wanted to be a burden to you in anyway. It is never easy to put an animal down but it was the best thing you could have done for him. He isn't suffering anymore.

If I can figure out how to add a link I will add one to the Rainbow Bridge. It comforted me after I put Hans down.

Please know that my thoughts are with you.

http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

[DeLarla 22]

I can't find words right now. My life is powered by animal love. He was lucky to have such a mom.

[scottygyrl 1]

Christina, I am so sorry to hear about Gunner. Your story is heart breaking. I hope you feel better soon.

[Zoe 6]

Christina, what sad sad news. My heart is aching for you. Like many others who have posted here, I had to put a beloved pet down, and I still get teary when I think about it. But you have done the ultimate loving, humane thing for your dear companion. You may be suffering, but he no longer is. Blessings on you for making a hard decision that was maybe not in your own best interests but was the kindest gift for Gunnar.

Here is a web site that helped me during the difficult days right after Lola the Labrador died: http://www.srdogs.com/Pages/loss.html. Keep a box of Kleenex near you.

[Road Queen 0]

Like everyone, I am sitting at my desk with tears running down my face and sniffling. I am so sorry. I believe Gunner is probably looking at our on-line make shift service and know that you will be taken care of through this site.

Bless him for being there all those times you needed him. Our 4 legged friends give meaning to our lives that other just can't share.

Thousands of hugs and some puppy kisses from Gunner.

[Guest lizzyd]

Hi Christina,

I'm fairly new to this board, but am a life-long animal lover. I'm so sorry about your baby boy Gunnar.

Years ago the Irish Wolf Hound (Named Lacey) that belonged to the Animal Beat correspondent of the Boston Globe (Vicki Croke) fell ill with bone cancer. She chronicled their struggles together in Lacey's last months, weeks and days. In the end, she had to have Lacey put to sleep.

Some length of time later she was still having a hard time dealing with the grief, and the guilt of whether she should have waited a little longer, etc. (all the same things the rest of us wonder when we have to make that painful decision for a pet). She wrote about going to a grief therapist who gave her some words of wisdom that have stuck with me till this day, and have eased my soul during the passing of two of my pets since then.

She said (I'm paraphrasing here) something like:

When we take a pet into our home and into our life, we strike a bargain with Nature. We get the benefit of our pet's eager company, undying love, undivided attention and unswerving loyalty for their whole life. In exchange, it is our responsibility, when the time comes, to do much more humanely what Nature would otherwise have done very cruelly.

I know nothing really makes it better, but I hope that helped a little like it helped me.

Gunnar's now healthy and happy, and waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. You said you thought he had waited for you to get better before he left. If that's true, he probably wouldn't want you to be too too sad. Try to honor his noble gesture by not letting your grief swallow you up too completely.

Be well,

LizzyD

[dylansmom 27]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm sitting here balling my eyes out as I read your story.

I pray that the Lord will help heal your heart, ease your loss, and wrap you in His loving arms of kindness and peace.

[Kimber-lilly 2]

Reading your post mad me so sad for you--I remember what a mess I was after my sweet Boomer died. So sad. I am thinking of you.....

Kimberly

[DeLarla 22]

Zoe, thank you for that site. Christina, if I were you I'd probably be hiding in a hole, and I will be you some day (many days since I'll always have furbabies.) Kitty Milo McSorley Bonekovic just turned 15 - deep sigh. The knowledge that our children will be gone is unbearable. My girl dog shares my pillow and my boy sleeps on my feet, always touching. That can't be replaced, but I agree that many other babies need love, and you've got love to give. Yep, crying at work again. Force a smile for the good times - the sooner the better, okay?

[g curtis 0]

Hi Christina

I too am sitting here with tears streaming down my face, I know exactly how you feel, but from what you have told us you definately made the right decision.

As sombody else mentioned maybe in the future there is another baby out there looking for love, I know its too soon at the moment but in time.

You can see in the photo just how close you were, Gunnar was a really handsome lad.

God bless you and God bless Gunnar.

Gaynor

[Rhonda63 0]

Christina, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I can remember waking up

everyday for a long time with that "heavy heart" feeling after I lost my 6 year

old Springer Spaniel "Maggie" in 2002. We got a new Springer in April 2004, (Katie)

but I still think of Maggie often. Animals are such an important part of our

lives and bring us such joy. I hope when the time is right for you, you can

welcome a new furbaby, always keeping Gunnar in your heart.

Rhonda

[seppi 0]

I am so sorry, I was crying while reading your post. I can empathize with you, I recently lost my best friend of 14 years, it sucks, my daughter just walks around saying that it's not fair and I cannot disagree with her. I have you in my thoughts and prayers. you need to know that you gave your love a very good life and he made yours better too. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

[I'llsucceed 1]

How do I begin to say "THANK YOU " to everyone of you. My eyes are so swollen with both sad & happy tears its actually hard to see. Your words truely, truely help me so very much. Like some of you said he wouldn't want me to be sad for too long so by the end of this weekend I promise my sweet boy I will morn no more! I will only look to our memories with smiles & laughter:0)At least I will try.

I have yet to click the links that some of you listed- not enough strengh right now but maybe tonight or tomorrow.

What is the hardest is I have such a routine everyday & have for coming up on 3 yrs & it all was revolving around him. every dish every walk every ride every door opening or closing every sunny day & every rainy day. I just feel lost without him. It wouldn't have been this bad had I had a job & not been with him every waking moment. But than again that is why my love for him was so strong & our connection one that I will never have again.

Do you know that since the age of 2 1/2 he has NEVER had a collar or leash on except when in a public arena. He was trained in the Schutzhund clubs of America for 2 yrs by me, 3xs a week. He was 100% off lead trained & I used all German commands. He did however fail the over all attack work & traking. He hated the cold & was too much of a sweet heart to hurt a butterfly.

Lord I miss my boy soooooooo much! I have been blessed a few times these past days to see him running super fast in a very green hilly field in heaven. He looked so happy & very proud. Twice I have seen him smiling down on me & it brings me great joy. Like some of you have said he has his DIGNITY back & what a very proud strong boy he was & will always be.

God Bless you all- Thank you for your support- I've needed it very much.

[paula 4]

Crystal, your love for your baby has truly touched my heart. I am so very sorry to hear of his passing. (((hugs)))