Ok preggos, what do you think of...

[Wheetsin 714]

1. The idea of a "shower" for the father? I put shower in quotes because I'm not talking about the traditional play stupid games, eat sugary food, get free baby stuff showers. More like a man party for the father to Celebrate with his friends, as much as men will admit to celebrating...

2. The idea of a "grandmother to be" party, to Celebrate the grandmother's oassing into grandmotherhood?

I'm considering both of these, don't know anyone who has actually done either.

I've had a few of my showers (friends did something separate from family, work separate from people I know through organizations, etc) and even though two of them were couples showers, my husband begrudgingly admitted to feeling left out. All of his direct family lives overseas. Most of "our friends" are really "my friends" and are doing the froo-froo girls only shower thing. I completely understand why he's feeling this way. So I was thinking of doing something like a ManBQ, for "his friends" (I know some of them but not all). A non-cutesy, non-celebrational, non-sober event for him. Don't remind me how many etiquette rules that's breaking... I just want him to have some "attention" or "celebration" too, as it's not something he is really getting, or will get from his family. I talked to my dad about this, and suggested a clear "no gifts please" message so people wouldn't think we were trying to get another shower out of it. My dad suggested something along the lines of "free beer if you bring us a bag of diapers. And even if you don't" so that if people WANTED to make it a shower type thing, they could of their own accord. (Which means it would be the wives of his friends doing it!)

And on the grandma thing... this is a huge deal to my mom. For 8 years she was resigned to the fact that she would never be a grandmother. Now she will, and she's really kinda psycho about it. I let her come to one of my OB visits and she bawled when she heard the heartbeat (even though I was 20+ weeks). Last week I had a 4d ultrasound done and she nearly broke down. Words cannot describe her grandma-itis. So I was thinking about a little party for her, with her friends (who don't know me), that I would host. Maybe a brunch or something equally informal. A distinct "no gifts please" but I would give her some things... I'm thinking one of those "going to grandma's" pull-alongs full of all the sentimental/cutesy stuff she likes... onesies/bibs/outfits with "grandma" something on them. A generations pendant or ring. Frames for future pictures. Maybe a camcorder so she can record times with the baby (and as the baby grows). Stuff like that. You have to keep in mind, she was buying baby stuff "just in case" years before I was pregnant. As soon as she learned I was pregnant she bought (AND WORE) those grandma sayings t-shirts. She's totally into this.

Just wanting to gather opinions, what do you guys think?

[Michee 2]

Not preggo

But I think it is a cute idea. I would not announce the "gramma to be party thing" as I think people will feel obligated to bring gifts, despite the "no gifts please".

I suggest you bill it as "afternoon tea" have a real traditional tea party, then surprise your mom with the gifts, I suggest giving each of the "guests" a little frame from the dollar store, with a note that says, this is for the picture of my adorable grandchild, that way the guests will be part of the experience.

your mom sounds adorable

[Daisalana 33]

Honestly, it all depends on the man. My husband would be mortified (for whatever reason) if he had one of these..

But I do know some men who would have loved it.

My friend had a baby not too long ago, during her shower, her husband just went out with a few guys for lunch ..then they met back at the shower post-games & food.. and opened presents with her.

Oh and never heard of gma to be party..if my brother didn't already have a kid, I'd totally do that after hearing you mention it. Again, depends on the gma's personality

[HeatherO 7]

Sounds like a cute idea for the grandmother tea party . . . and the ManBQ. My husband wouldn't want it if it was focused on fatherhood, but no reason not to have a general get-together.

[eejaydiva 3]

I agree with everyone else, especially Michee's idea of how to present your mom's little party as a traditional thing, it seems more appropriate that way and you'll achieve the same effect...she will be thrilled.

When my bro and his girlfriend were preg, all his guy friends (and he had ALOT of them) threw a "Dude's Baby Party". Now since this was primarily a ton of 20-something guys in heavy metal T-shirts, it was hysterical and touching. None of them wanted/knew what baby gifts to buy, so I told them all to bring diapers, any size or brand. It worked like a charm and the diaper party was so very valuable because they were stocked up for months! As well, a few of his friends have gone on to start families of their own and we've continued the "Dude's Diaper Party Tradition".

You mentioned your hubby doesn't have a ton of male friends that are truly his, but if there are peeps who care about him, I'm sure it would work.

[tomatogirl 0]

Not really my cup of tea. I think it's tacky to have shower after shower after shower. And even if you put "no gifts" on the invites, people will feel obligated to bring them.

[aubrie 6]

It's just as much HIS baby as it is yours, and if he's feeling left out, then by all means do something for him. The beer and BBQ thing is a great idea. What about getting a kit of some kind for them to build your baby furniture. Like a man power thing..... That would be cool. I would love the furniture all the more.

[BandaCat 1]

I think both are great ideas. I've been thinking of having a co-ed Thank You party to say thank you to all of the people who are helping us through this pregnancy. It's been really hard with me in the hospital and now at home but still really sick. My family and friends have really been pitching in to help us out.

Besides any reason is a good reason to get good friends and family together!

[Kat817 19]

When my DD informed me she was pregnant after several years dealing with infertility, I too was over the moon with excitement, for me as well as for her.

I have a close group of friends that I get together with quite often, and 2 of them were going together to give my DD a baby shower. So when they ask me to come by and look at some things for the shower the week before I did not hesitate! When I got there, our little group was there, as well as other friends, and family----and they had a Grandma shower for me. They had ask for no gifts, but I got lots of special things anyway! The group of "my" girls had all gone together and bought me a new rocking chair, and one had crocheted me a special blanket to lay over the back of the chair.

I did get one of the little Going to Grandmas suitcases, several picture frames saying Grandma and Me and Grandpa and Me----which are all filled with grandbaby pics now! I got a digital camera from my other kids. And the best gift of all my DD made me---on the idea of the Golden Ticket from the Willy Wonka movie, she made me a ticket that said "Admit One---to the birth of "babies name"....." And I used it!! I watched her be born.....and was one of the very first people to hold her!!

She also wrote me a letter that she read at the shower, telling me how much she loved having me as a Mom and how she hoped she could be as good of a Mom to her baby on the way. Had all of us there crying!

That my friends understood the depth of emotion that her finally being pregnant held, and honoring us in such a manner---will be forever in my heart!

We did not play games, we just visited, and laughed, and cried!!

I have gone to one Grandma shower since and the only game they played, was when we went in, if we had grandchildren they ask if we had pictures, then everyone tried to match up which kids belonged to which Granny!

Honoring your Mom or your DH in any way is a great way to share the joy, especially if it is something they would enjoy.

My son always goes to Hot Topic and buys TACKY onesies for all of his buddies when they have babies. I think the idea is spreading for it to be celebrated by more than just Moms!

Congrats again Wheets!

Kat

[favorite 3]

i think both parties are a really nice and thoughtful idea. does anyone remember on "I Love Lucy" when Lucy was pregnant the guys threw Ricky a party? and each of the guys brought a bottle of liquor. lol

Edited September 23, 2008 by favorite

[mellymel2302 0]

We have showers for men where I live, but they are called diaper parties. The guys all get together and have a bbq and some drinks. And diapers are an easy and very needed gift to bring.

I have never heard of a grandmother party, but it is a cute idea.

[HeatherO 7]

I happen to be going to a baby shower this Sunday for a friend. I bought several outfits at the 3-6 month range (since 0-3 seems to last for about a day, lol). She did have a baby registry, but I did not check it since I was at a different store and came across a wonderful sale with some really adorable boy outfits (I even had to buy something for my baby eventhough I have no idea of the sex).

I understand the point of registries, and yes they do cut down on duplications, returns or getting something that completely does not match anything else which might sit in a closet indefinitely.

However, sometimes I wonder if I am a little too old school. There is something about pre-selecting your gifts from other people that feels wrong . . . I don't like buying from registries for anybody that I am really close with. It feels like there is nothing personal about it. Does anyone else feel this way?

[Daisalana 33]

The last baby shower I bought for, I browsed her registry but I ended up picking out a super cute outfit I found somewhere else just because I liked it more lol.

I don't like creating registries, and I don't like passing them out.. the one time I actually bought off a registry was a friend's brother and his wife-to-be had expensive taste and her registry items minimum cost was $80.. I didn't think my usual target gift was going to live up to her expectations, so we bought something for $80 that was an add-on to something that was more expensive. I think that was more a reflection on them, not having a realistic registry.. anyway.. so I guess point is, I don't like registries.