Mental failure/self disappointment

[jetti 2]

ugh - ok so my mind and heart are so torn right now. I was banded on 11/6/07 and so far for me everything has been going better then I could have expected. I have lost between 80-85 pounds (depends on the day) without having to get a fill. But ever since I returned from vacation at the beginning of August I have been gaining and losing the same 3-5 pounds. I lost a considerable about of weight while on vacation - 13 pounds - so for a few weeks I figured my body was just adjusting to being back home and eating more regularly and not being as active as I was on vacation...only ate 2 meals a day and swam and walked all day and then danced for hours on end every night.

The reason I am torn right now is because I dont know if I should get a fill...in my mind if I get a fill I feel like I failed myself. I know that the point of the band is that when its not working for you you should get a fill and see if that works. But because I have gone so long without a fill I feel like a failure and disappointed in myself now possibly needing one. Im thinking of giving myself to the end of this month when I get weighed in at the gym again and if I dont see a change then I will try to convince myself to get the fill. I also feel like I lost a little bit of focus that I cant seem to find again. I dont think I will reach my next goal like I had planned and that is another reason I am not happy with myself right now. I dont know why it is so hard for me to just call my doctor and say I need a fill but I just cant seem to do it...has anyone else gone through this???:thumbup:

thanks for letting me vent and babble...I feel so :frown: right now

[Mrs. Bubba 0]

Gosh, but I think you are being very hard on yourself. In any kind of a weight loss program you will reach a plateau that must be endured and conquered. Usually they say that you should do something you haven't been doing. Anything to shake up your metabolism. Do what you did right after banding orwhatever... Just don't get yourself so bummed out. You have been so successful that it would be a big shame to let your emotions ruin things for you.... I can't wait to be where you are. I was banded on 8-21 and I'm 40 pounds down with about 150 to go and I already feel so much better. I'd really like to see the scale go down every day, but that isn't realistic. I try to remember that one day I might be retaining Water or whatever and just push the scale away and go on with my day. You'll be fine, and at your goal very soon... Take care and keep the faith

[imlindal46 0]

Hi Jessica,

I am to be banded on October 9 so I can't speak from first hand experience just yet. However, everything I have read during my extensive research and reading all of the extremely informative posts on these boards it would seem like you are being very hard on yourself.

Your accomplishment is quite impressive and all WITHOUT A FILL??!!

It sounds like you have challenged yourself to loose the weight without a fill. While that is a real test of your willpower and determination and kudos to you if you can do it, don't beat yourself up if you do decide that you want one. Using your tool ( the Band) is not an indication of weakness. Remember, obesity is a disease not a character flaw. The band is our medicine we can use to help control it.

Hugs,

Linda

Edited September 17, 2008 by imlindal46

[HeatherO 7]

To get this far without a fill is an exception rather than the rule. Also, after losing 80-85 pounds, any fatty deposits around your stomach have probably dissappeared so your band will be a little looser . . . that is why those of us who reach our sweet spot still have to have an occasionally tweak to keep us in the zone.

What is the harm in a small fill? It is really not any different than being banded, you already have the mechanism in place. Why stress about it instead of letting it work for you.

Weight loss is hard for all of us once we get close to goal . . . I am going through that right now. I keep tottering between 150-152 for a couple of weeks now . . . . when I really just want to get into the 140's.

A small fill should just make it that much easier on you with no reason for guilt. Good luck.

[jetti 2]

thanks for the support ladies!!! I love this place everyone is always so supportive.

right now im thinking I will see how I do for the next 2 weeks and if I am still having trouble after that I will call my doctor. I need to get myself back on track so that I can continue in the right direction

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Considering I have absolutely NO restriction without any fill....if you could do it without "fills", why on earth even GET the band? Why not just join WW or "do" South Beach or whatever? For me, I can (and have) lost weight on any diet I tried. I just didn't keep it off.

The band is a tool. I don't understand, if you bought it, why you are so scared to pick it up and USE it?

[NY2LAGirl 0]

jetti as you have heard a thousand times on this site our band is a tool and the fact that you have lost 80+ pounds without a fill puts you in a minority. And one that makes me jealous;). I have had 3 fills and I was banded only 5 months ago and I certainly don't think of myself or anyone else who have gotten fills failures! Use your tool girl get that fill and keep losing those pounds!!!

[jetti 2]

restless - I tried diets all of my life and they never worked for me that is why I decided to get the band. I have been using the band and that band has been working for me for the past 8-9 months its just recently I feel like something is not working.

NY2LA - I dont think anyone on this board is a failure whether they had 1 fill or 10. my mind is just frazzled right now and im not putting anyone down when I say I think I am a failure because I may need a fill...all a mental game that im losing right now

[NY2LAGirl 0]

Jessica I am so sorry if you thought I was saying you thought others were failures, I so didn't mean that I guess I just worded that wrong! The point I was trying to make was you are not alone and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself about needing a fill! When you get a band they assume you will need a few fills or why get banded.

Please accept my apology.

[jetti 2]

NY2LA - I didnt want anyone to think that I thought anyone was a failure because they have gotten fills. I know that is the point of the band but I guess because I have done all this without a fill so far its hard to wrap my head around the idea that it may be time

[spealex 13]

Just wanted to say that what you accomplished is awesome, you did it without a fill. As for the question as to why you were banded, I believe being obese was 80% or more mental. Having the band helps even if you are not feeling restriction yet. The fact that a year out you may need a fill causes you to feel this way I think is normal. You figure why now if I have done it for so long without. But IMO, your body has accustomed to the reduced amounts of food and now has learned to live with less, causing it to maybe store what you do take. Getting a slight fill hopefully will give you the feeling you felt anfter being initally banded for the first time. Just my opinion, obviously not a proffesional one. Good luck, get that fill and use the band for what its worth.