Turkey Day - at my house?!?!

[justmel1957 1]

Justmel has it exactly right. Put stuff you can eat (mashed potatoes, yams, stuffing with tons of gravy, Jello salad, soups) on your plate and if anyone questions why you don't have a lot or why you didn't eat it all, just say you've already been snacking all day. :embaressed_smile: I know this is how my thanksgivings usually went anyway before my band. LoL

I personally wouldn't blend any food. That would cause more questions you might not want to answer. People don't really watch what you eat as much as you think they might. On first dates I ALWAYS get stuck, so usually I push my food around on the plate and take bites with little or no food on the fork. Not one guy has noticed yet. hehe

You do need to tell your husband that this is 21 days after a major surgery and he MUST help you out. He's going to be your personal do bitch for the day, but that's what it is! :cool2: hehe I don't know if I would have been up for hosting a thanksgiving day feast, but you can do it!

I wish you the best of luck!

Oh and DO NOT eat something that isn't okay for you to eat. Not letting your in-laws know you had surgery isn't worth the risk of hurting your stomach or making your band slip.

Happy Turkey Day!!

Jello salad and Soup...................2 more excellent suggestions.

You can do this...............we're rooting for you!

[Cherlita 0]

First thing, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR DECISION TO HAVE THE LAPBAND! WAHHHOOOOO!! I wish you the best of luck with your surgery and recovery and much success!

Some of the posts have mentioned some good food ideas. definitely make sure it is something you are comfortable with. I was on regular food within 2 weeks. Apart from the first post-op week, seems like food plans differ with every doctor. The most important thing to remember is small quantities (can you use a small plate without being obvious?) and chewing your food to the consistency of applesauce.

If someone notices something, just tell them you are either trying a new diet where all your food has to be pureed (joke about if the crowd is that type, roll your eyes if they aren't) and then change the subject, ask a question of someone. Or tell them your doctor has put you on a special diet to help with heartburn or acid reflux... quickly change the subject (just be prepared with a topic or question so that you aren't caught off guard)

Also I find it very helpful to chew gum when I'm plating the food (and prone to nibble).

Since you will still be in the mushy stage, suggest you also find some low carb recipes to make a dessert for yourself. You can make low carb pumpkin (not pie) just leave it in the kitchen and plate it up when you plate the other Desserts. suggest you make the recipe before Thanksgiving day so you can try it ahead of time to see if you like it or it needs improving. it's very delicious!

One of my favorite Desserts or treats is very simple: combine 8oz cream cheese, 1/2 cup sour cream, and one tube of lemonade SF drink mix (like Crystal Light or Wyler's) or any other flavor you like. Mix it all up and enjoy. Eat 1/4 to 1/2 of cup. It's better if you let it set in the fridge for an hour or two.

One thing I've found with this website is to ignore the advice that doesn't fit. Your are asking the world for input or advice. and some of it you may not agree with. brush it off or ignore it and move on... life is definitely too short to waste...

BTW, my 1 year bandiversary is Thanksgiving Day! Too funny.

Best of luck :embaressed_smile:,

Cherlita

[ElusiveQuality 22]

I agree with the "rude one"

Hmmm, maybe I should change my moniker. How about Mr. Blunt?

My final two thoughts on the subject.

You are putting your newly formed pouch at risk. The band hasn't seated yet and could shift if you eat too much, too quickly or succumb to something that's not mushy. The reason all of us are getting the labband or have the lapband is that we suck at willpower and self control when it comes to dieting. If this were Thanksgiving of '09 I wouldn't mention a thing but I believe you are risking your band.

Everyone here is just a yahoo with an Internet connection. Why don't you ask your surgeon if he thinks it's a good idea. I think everyone here can agree to that?

Cal

[heartfire 4]

You REALLY need to think about getting this away from your house. Your husband needs to tell his family that you two aren't ready to host a family meal. If he won't do it, then hire someone to come in to clean the house. Start cooking the week before and freeze everything. I like the idea of cooking the turkey early and keeping it sliced up in broth to stay moist (you can also put it and some of the broth into a large roaster and reheat covered with tin foil on low temp).

At 3 weeks out, you physically aren't going to be able to do this on your own. I have a 10lb lifting restriction for 6 weeks. I'm 3 weeks out right now. No way could I do the work needed to host a big family meal here right now. I am still swollen and I get really tired, really fast. Can you maybe host Christmas instead? Or pony up for t-day next year! I'd go with the hernia story and leave it at that, if you MUST tell them something.

I'm also not telling many people. That may change as time goes on but it really IS no one's business but my own. Support or not, my ENTIRE family (and believe me, there are A LOT of them) does NOT need to know about my surgery! My DH, mom, mil and fil know and that's it as far as family. My own sister doesn't even know b/c I don't want to "hear it" from her DH! Other than that, only a few friends know. It's totally up to you who you tell and who you don't.

One possible advantage to hosting it at your house, other than being able to have more side dishes that you can handle (although you'll only be eating a few ounces total) is that running around and being so busy, people won't really be paying attention to whether you're eating or not. AND if someone does say something, you can say you did eat! Or you're just not hungry after working so hard all day! LOL!

Best wishes and let us know how you and DH handle this.

[bklyn1984 0]

I cannot reply to what you can or cannot eat on this day since I have not had surgery. I do have a suggestion. How about letting an outside place cook for you. I live in NJ and we have a supermarket here called Wegman's and they have a catering service where you can order the entire meal from appetizers to deserts. If you have a place like that by you I would recommend doing that. Honestly I cannot see you lifting a turkey the size you would need to feed everyone especially if you stuff the bird. Cooking everything else is a lot of work too and if your husband does not help you which he should then I personally would consider having it catered if possible.

I would take all of the good suggestions everyone here is giving you about what to eat and what not to eat. Just be careful.

About telling everyone it's your business and if you choose not to tell them then that's fine you do not have to. I have people in my life too that I am never telling. It's none of their business. Like you said we do not know your in-laws and if telling them will cause everyone to be upset then I would not tell them until you are ready to if at all.

[ShrinkyDink 0]

Something you should think about is your recovery level at 3 weeks out. I'm 4 1/2 weeks out and I still get tired VERY easily and still have some soreness. I host Thanksgiving every year and have it down to a science, but there's no way on earth I could do it right now. Perhaps you could hire somebody to clean the house and cater the most labor intensive parts of the meal. Make it as easy on yourself as you can so you can enjoy the company even if you can't really enjoy the food.< /p>

As far as eating goes, I second the suggestion of putting a bit of everything on your plate, eating what you are allowed, and pushing the other things around so they look like you ate them and just didn't finish.

[Michee 2]

Thanksgiving at your house sounds great

I think it is best to host it. This way you are in charge and you can make sure that there are items that you can eat, such as mashed potatoes, squash, stuffing.

Three weeks out is plenty of time. If you had a full time job as a chef you'd be back to work a week after surgery, and cooking more than one meal.

The other good thing is that if you dont want people to know you are banded, you can just say "after cooking all day, I'm not that hungry" if they notice that you are not eating much. If you are not eating what someone else cooked (if the dinner is elsewhere) they may be offended.

Since you are new to the family, I would respect the traditions until you've been a family member long enough to suggest new ones.

You can do this. You will be fine. I think you will be happier in your own home.

Congratulations on your decision to get the band.

[jmegirl 2]

Hey, lots of great responses!! You all made me realize that attempting to cook a huge meal when I'm 3 weeks post-op is probably asking too much. However, like someone else pointed out, this is a family tradition type of thing that I really can't say 'No' to.

So, Mom to the rescue! My mom knows about my surgery (and is fully supportive), and when I told her what was going on, she said she'd be over bright and early on Turkey Day to help me get everything going.

Also, we have a maid service that comes every other week, so cleaning the house won't be a problem.

I really appreciate the suggestions about food though, and those suggestions will totally come in handy. I'm thinking creamy mashed potatoes with low-fat turkey gravy, applesauce, and....uh, any more suggestions for the main course? :tt1:

[CynthiaMcC 0]

You'll do great, it sounds like you have a good plan in place. While every doctor has a different plan, I'd suggest doing some homework now to see what you can eat when and then plan the menu around that. For example, I could eat certain crackers at three weeks so plan on crackers with a very soft cheese, etc. I'd definitely suggest a Soup course, there are a ton of wonderful fall creamy Soups that can be low fat and filling. While you probably won't be ready for turkey, you can make several sides that are band friendly, such as mashed potatoes (or even mashed cauliflower), roasted carrots, cranberry sauce. I think you will be surprised at how easy it will be, you will not be as hungry as you think. I, too, only told a few people about the surgery. I simply said I was recovering from the flu for the first few weeks when people asked why I was not eating much.

Good luck and enjoy!

[tapshoes 2]

I agree with Justmel - and in fact, I had almost the same situation only for Easter. I put small amounts of what I could eat (potatoes, mashed turnip, etc) on my plate. I was prepared (if anyone was so rude as to ask why I was not eating more) to say that all the work in preparing the meal takes away some of the pleasure in eating it, and that I am a nibbler when I cook. A very honest statement. In fact, not one person commented...everyone was too busy with their own plates to worry about me, and I was busy clearing plates, preparing the second or third courses, getting the desserts/coffee, pouring wine etc.

It is not anyone's business including inlaws, or my family. I am an adult - what I do to my body is MY business, no one else's. Therefore, no one (DH excepted) knew, or knows of my surgery.

[justmel1957 1]

Mom's are great, aren't they! Kudos to your mom for helping you make a success of the day! With your DH and mom at your side, you are sure to succeed! just try to relax and enjoy the day. It's all about being together and being thankful for our blessings.

Do let us know how it all turns out.............we'll all be wondering (and rooting for you)!!

[Tess415 1]

It sounds to me like you feel you need to see this dinner thru... you only have one first dinner for the family!! I felt fine at 3 weeks and was working out everyday in the gym, so with planning it will go well!! Sounds like you have a very supportive Mom, and I am sure the two of you will plan a wonderful meal. I have found when the family is all eating they are too busy to notice what you are doing, especially since they don't know what's going on with your diet. Don't sweat it!!! I agree with the make your plate look normal with a little of everything, push it around a bit... you can do it. I was so excited about the band, I wasn't really tempted to eat off plan just from the food being around... I think you'll do fine!!!

[luluc 6]

Thanksgiving at your house sounds great

I think it is best to host it. This way you are in charge and you can make sure that there are items that you can eat, such as mashed potatoes, squash, stuffing.

i think hosting is a MUCH better option for you for many of the reasons given, most importantly - you can have food prepared that you can eat. you can also have "busy feet" being the host so nobody is focusing on what your eating - certainly those who you decide not to share the fact that you will be getting the lapband. my inlaws STILL don't know my husband i got banded, and don't need to quite honestly...no shame, just none of their business.

i was 5wks post op last thanksgiving, and though we spend that day tailgating at the Cowboy game, i made sure hubby and i had food we could get down. A big pot of chili went a LONG way - turkey was just not something that appealed at that time.

with mom helping - you can enjoy your first holiday meal w/family & the start of new traditions!!!

[aubrie 6]

I was banded one week before Thanksgiving. I was able to cook the Thanksgiving meal for my family with their assistance, and was able to sit at the table and eat my butternut squash Soup. I was on full liquids at the time. It wasn't that bad. I was exhausted though, and doubt I would have been able to entertain a house full of extended family. Your husband needs to step up to the plate on this. If they can't all chip in and help, then have it catered. I would make alll the foods you know you can eat. Like Whipped sweet potatos, whipped potatoes and gravy, creamed spinach, souffle, Jello mold, cranberry sauce, cornbread dressing with gravy, spiced applesauce, pumpkin pie filling, etc. Let them bring everything else. Remember, you won't be able to lift a 20 pound turkey at that point. You're going to need help. I haven't told my mother in law about my surgery either. She's hyper critical, so I understand. But she needs to know you'll be under the weather so to speak for some reason. If this is your first Thanksgiving, then make the rules now. It's your home. Now is the time. Set the stage for future gatherings, or you could end up being taken advantage of for YEARS.

[Shalee04 7]

My husband and I are newlyweds (May 10th, 2008) and this weekend we found out that his family expects us to host Thanksgiving at our house - you know, since we're the "newest part of the family", or some crap like that. Here's the snag - I'm getting my band exactly 21 days before Thanksgiving.

Going to someone else's house for Thanksgiving and eating very little would have been tough, but I'd have managed. Now, not only will I have to eat the food, but I have to prepare it!!!!! Refusing to host Thanksgiving is pretty much out of the question. There's no excuse I could come up with short of death that would keep me out of the kitchen on that day.

So my question is - how do I handle this? What are some Thanksgiving dishes I can make that will fit into my Mushies Phase but won't be obvious? I think it sort of goes without saying that most of the people in attendance on Thanksgiving Day will not know about my surgery, so I need to make sure I don't draw any attention to myself.

Can I eat dark meat turkey (it's moister than white meat) during my Mushies Phase, as long as I chew it 30+ times before swallowing? I know I can eat mashed potatoes and apple sauce, but what else?

HELP! :laugh:

Jmegirl, Congratulations on your upcoming banding.

Last year I hosted Thanksgiving for my husbands family at my house 10 days after my surgery. The only people that knew/know of my banding are my husband and daughters. They thought I had a Hiatel hernia surgery only. (I had one repaired during banding)

At first I was worried they would wonder why I wasn't eating like I usually do, But you knw what, NO ONe seemed to notice. I put a little bit of differnt foods on my plate, Mashed potatoes with alot of gravy, some Jello salad, some stufing with alot of gravy on it. I put a small piece of turkey on my plate too, cranberry sauce. We don't see the family very often and so we did alot of talking over dinner, so I mostly pushed the food around on my plate the whole time, takeing a small bite of the gravy and potatoes, some Jello, the cranberry sauce. I being the hostess would get up and get something if needed from the kitchen, I eventually put my napkin on my plate and said I was full. No one even noticed as they were all to busy eating 2nd and 3rds. I actually sat there and ralized just how much people eat (used to be me also) on thansgiving day. His family knew I was on a diet. and recently when we saw them I have now lost 70 lbs they are very happy for me as they knw I am healthier.

So you can do this dinner, will it be easy, probably not, but if you put your mind to it, you can do it and no one will be the wiser.

Again congratulations on your upcoming banding.