Mommy Dearest, thanks for making sure I never feel happy!

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Thanks everyone. I am going to sit down to day and respond back since I have cooled off a bit.

But yes Mac, she is ALWAYS like this. At my wedding seconds after You may kiss the bride she screamed out "She's your problem now David, you keep her." Yes at the ceremony. I still to this day, almost 14 years later seen my wedding video. I guess afterwards she said a bunch more crap to the camera and everyone tries to protect me from her.

She had the Bypass 4 months after I did the band and her EXACT words were "so I can loose faster than you". She has always competed with me. I feel like she is my arch enemy not my mom. I hate it.

She did this yesterday AFTER me telling her what a horrible day I was having. Washer broke for good, vaccum broke, and my DH grandma was in the hospital, they are thinking pancreatic cancer and she will be moving in with us. I guess I wasn't focused enough on my mom yesterday to make her happy....ugh...

I honestly hope that I can break this toxic cycle with my girls. I can't do this to them. It is never more important to me than ever to make sure I do not turn into my mother! :embaressed_smile::crying:

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

Brandy - I think you are a beautiful person, both inside and out. I have some issues with my mom as well, so I think I can relate to what you are going through. Keep your head up and do what is best for you and your family. She has her opinion and we can't make our mother's into what we want them to be no more can we be the daughters they want us to be. I've spent the majority of my life trying. I could never quite live up to her expectations. It is exhausting.

I think your photos are tasteful and you look wonderful. I know if I ever get photos done my mother would react the same way as yours. Hell, she didn't even go to my wedding. I went to the beach the other weekend and got a henna tattoo. You'd think I'd gotten a full body permanent tattoo. Mom just said, "You know what I think about those." We got into a huge argument...I told her it wasn't her business. Then she went into the whole "I didn't raise you to abuse your body. blah blah blah." Anyway - I didn't mean to make this about me. My mom gets my blood boiling too.

As a mom, I would probably be concerned if my daughters put photos of themselves on the net for everyone to see. I'd like to keep them little and innocent, protected from the world's dangers forever. That however isn't reality. I know they are going make decisions that I will not like. They are going to hurt me at some point and it will all be okay. It will be their lives to lead and their decisions to make.

You hang in there girl. ((hugs)).

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

BBK,

I'm originally from Michigan and I feel your pain. Take a big hug, girlfriend *hugs*

You have NOTHING to be ashamed of. Your photos are beautiful, tasteful and just plain gorgeous! You are not in control of what people do when they see your photos - there are pervs out there who get their jollies looking at pics of little kids fully dressed - you can't control that.

I understand your anger and hurt at what your mom said...and kudos to you for NOT cutting her out of your life - many would have done exactly that and never said another word to her. You are the bigger (actually, thinner) person and should be incredibly proud of yourself for all the hard work you've done.

Imagine the role model you are for your daughters - you took your life and your destiny into your OWN hands - you could have sat back and had a big pity party and done nothing! You fought, struggled and WON! You committed to something that you KNEW wasn't going to be a quick fix, and YOU DID IT!:embaressed_smile: You did the right thing, day after day, week after week, month after month. You set a goal and kept on working until you reached it...what's not to love about what you've accomplished?

I only pray I have the strength of character and the stick-to-it-iveness to do what you've done...I am incredibly proud of you, sista, and I haven't even met you face to face!

Hang in there - they say what doesn't kill you makes you strong, so you are without a doubt one of the strongest women on this board and in the lovely state of Michigan, indeed, in the entire US of A!

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Leslie--I am sad to hear you know how I feel then. I am sorry for you as well!

As a mom I just want my love to be completely unconditional, unlike my mom.

Ebony--thank you! I appreciate your kind words of wisdom! :embaressed_smile: You speak volumes to me. Everyone does here!

THANK YOU ALL!

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

Leslie--I am sad to hear you know how I feel then. I am sorry for you as well!

As a mom I just want my love to be completely unconditional, unlike my mom.

My girls will never doubt my love for them no matter their decisions. I never want them to feel they aren't good enough or have to achieve something for me to love and support them. I've learned that from my mom. I didn't mean any offense in saying what I said - perhaps it came out the wrong way. I see nothing wrong with your pinup shots - you look great girl. If either of my children grew up and did the same thing I would be proud of them. My concern would be the people I can't control (perverts) looking at them, though this world is filled with perversions of all sorts. I get overbearing just taking them to the park to play (worried about strangers, kidnappings). There are some sick people in this world However, I would support them and not berate them for their decision - knowing me I'd probably go to the shoot with them. I'm sorry if I offended you.

[snowflake21al 0]

Hi BBK,

I just wanted to say if you want to take pictures of yourself its your business. I know your picture aren't overly sexy or trashy but it's the point of being able to do something that makes you feel good about yourself. I mean seriously, how long had most of us been over weight? I know it's been all my life, I don't even want to take regular pictures much less any other kind, but I can't wait until I get to a weight that I am comfortable doing that! I think after all of the years of feeling fat and not attractive to other men, if I want to post some pictures then I owe it to myself for all the times I thought I couldn't. Other people don't realize how being overweight effects you everday. Men won't hold doors open for you, cashiers ignore you, I mean, you just feel like the world just trys to overlook you. Anyway, keep up the good work and don't let someone elses opinion get you down(even if it's your mother). It's your life, live it to the fullest... :tt1:

[plain 12]

Hey BBK, this is kind of a weird random question, but who is Ralph, and why is your mom specifically worried about him seeing your pinup pics?

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

Hey BBK, this is kind of a weird random question, but who is Ralph, and why is your mom specifically worried about him seeing your pinup pics?

He is my Dad's best friend. Who has never seen them. How weird eh?

[heartfire 4]

Brandy,

Please don't let your "mom" get you down. I'm sorry but if she wouldn't protect you when you needed her to the most, she can't say jack about what you are doing now AND as an adult, no less! Actually, I'm not sorry at all!

I think your pics are beautiful and VERY tasteful! (I've also voted a couple of times too!) I might be able to understand her "concern" if she was talking about the woman's pic above yours. Now that's risque!!

Anyway, I agree with the others who say to tell her thanks but no thanks. Move on and ignore her. Oh! And I don't think you're anorexic and I'm sure your DOCTOR agrees! Sheesh! Like you're not being supervised by the medical community and someone, somehow, missed that! Sheesh!!

You really need to remember where the "concern" is coming from before you get all wound up! It's hard, I know.

I'm also sorry about all your stress. I'm also sorry about your grandma-in-law. I hope the news turns out better than it's looking.

Take care. HUGS!!

[lapbandbarb 0]

I understand how you feel. I always felt like I was judged by my mother. I had so many times of dealing with issues just like you seem to have. Your mother keeps telling you how much she loves you and is proud of you. That is special. My mother, although I knew she loved me very much, would have never told me with so much emotion as your mother does in the letter. My mother passed away pretty suddenly in January and I miss her every single day. I had a difficult relationship with her but I want her so much and I will never have her again. You have no idea how hard that is.

Please- appreciate her. You only have one mom and she will not be with you forever. It is so hard to take back the things that you wish you could. Appreciate her now amd don't worry so much about what she says-she is here and that is what really matters.

[MacMadame 81]

Hey, I was going to ask about Ralph too, but was trying to be delicate.

[plain 12]

Hey, I was going to ask about Ralph too, but was trying to be delicate.

Are you saying I'm indelicate?!? Why, I'm like honey.....smooooooooth.... <----- blatant sarcasm

[MacMadame 81]

Well, based on the answer, I was being overly sensitive. But you see, I was thinking that there was some logical reason to throw Ralph in there. I.E., that the idea that Ralph would see the picture would somehow upset BBK. But apparently not...

[heartfire 4]

Why, I'm like honey.....smooooooooth.... <----- blatant sarcasm

Honey is goopy, sticky and makes a HUGE mess when it gets all over everything! It's sooo hard to clean up! <sigh>

[A lot less 1]

Honey is goopy, sticky and makes a HUGE mess when it gets all over everything! It's sooo hard to clean up! <sigh>

But honey is so "sweet" LOL

Hey BBK, this is kind of a weird random question, but who is Ralph, and why is your mom specifically worried about him seeing your pinup pics?

Was wondering the same thing, glad you asked. LOL