Binge Demons - Back with a Vengeance

[HeatherO 7]

OK . . . so I am almost eight months out and only 10 pounds from my initial goal. I have been following the rules at least 95% of the time, working the plan, doing my exercise, keeping my eating in check.

So banding is working and working very well for me. I have been feeling on top of the world. I also felt like I have "overcome" my food addiction which involves driven, impulsive, mindless consumption of very specific food choices either with high fat/salt content or high sugary sweet/carb laden content after dinner but before bed. I could count the number of "binge" episodes on one hand and still have fingers left over since banding.

Well, about a week ago I pb'd, which happens rarely, and had some reflux that night, which also happens rarely. I got sicker and sicker day by day until I had reflux and coughing just about all night long. I went on liquids but my stomach was so irritated that I was pb'ing everything until last Thursday when I could no longer ingest more than a tablespoon of Water at a time. Over several days, I had ingested almost nothing other than Water, Protein drinks and coffee. My stomach was closing up so I went in for an emergency unfill. They took out a little and I could drink comfortably, had Soup for dinner and have felt altogether human again in the days since.

So last night I had a healthy dinner, a yogurt based Soup which has a tiny amount of rice and mint sauteed in butter, along with a spinach/ground beef dish topped with garlic yogurt. I ate about 1/4-1/2 cup of each. Probably ate 3/4 cup total, was pleasantly satisfied.

1/2 hour later . . . I wanted a little Cereal, which I haven't eaten in months. I ate a partial coffee cup of honey bunches of oats with almonds. 10 minutes later, I had another partial cup of fruity pebbles Cereal in milk. 5 minutes later, I wanted some of the cherry topped cheesecake in the refrigerator and I ate a full serving. 5 minutes later and just about full to bursting I ate maybe 2-3 tablespoons of chocolate w/chocolate chip cookie dough that was made up for a dinner party that will happen later today.

Soooo . . . . I binged probably about 2 cups worth of food. This was worsened by the fact that it went down easily with milk and was mostly carb based with a ton of sugar and fat.

What happened to me??? Am I still just this weak??? Loosen my band and I am just the same old/same old girl with a food problem. I feel sad and disgusted today . . . and I have a lovely dinner party to cook for throughout the day. Woe is me :smile::sad_smile::thumbup:

[luluc 6]

What happened to me??? Am I still just this weak??? Loosen my band and I am just the same old/same old girl with a food problem. I feel sad and disgusted today . . . and I have a lovely dinner party to cook for throughout the day. Woe is me :smile::sad_smile::thumbup:

heather, i've read many of your posts - and your thoughtful and sincere in your advise. i too have had unfills & just used will power - like we did while working towards restriction. that's not to say i didn't have an evening or 2 of indulgences - one night of "snacking" does not define your journey.

quit beating yourself up - have a great dinner party; enjoy your company - and remember what got you to goal in about 8 months.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Congrats! You are HUMAN! Yes, you are! Even thin people overindulge occasionally. You ate 2 cups of food. Preop, what would a binge have entailed? 2 CUPs of cereal, 1/2 the cheesecake, (not a regular serving) more cookie dough? Would you have stopped there?

Compare "new you" to "old you". 2 extra cups of food didn't make you heavy then and won't make you heavy now. What counts is what you do from here. Feel miserable, and set yourself up for a vicious cycle of misery/food/misery/food....OR, think "wow that came out of left field I have to stop it NOW" and do that. Give it a little time and you can get filled some more...so be gentle but firm with yourself!

and enjoy your dinner party. It is surely going to be fun!

[Healthy Grandma 0]

Restless Monkey, you're right on. I ate a small bag of baked Lays and felt bad for eating them (mini binge). Before surgery, a binge would have been an entire big bag of Doritos or cheese puffs--and I mean a big bag.

Before, I would let one binge derail my whole diet, but now I count the inappropriate food in my calorie count and get back on track.

[HeatherO 7]

Thanks everyone. I am back on plan today . . . we shall see how it goes.

I am up 2 pounds since my unfill, but I think beign dehydrated might have actually made my weight seem lower that it woud have been at that time.

Back on plan, back on plan, wish me luck 'cause I am back on plan. :0)

[ElusiveQuality 22]

Was there something that you ate prior to getting to the sweet spot that gave you some restriction? For me, it's pork or baby carrots. I'm sure it's not going to be like it was for the near futre but I'm thinking your goal should be do the least damage possible. Trying to diet "cold turkey" will probably lead to binging so a few treats here and there probably won't be that bad. If you've been off a normal in take a of food for waiting for the unfil, your body could use a little extra nutrition, no?

Hang in there,

Cal

[ShrinkyDink 0]

Sometimes the body makes decisions without involving the brain. After several days of taking in almost nothing your body was in a panic and when you were able to eat again, something in you said "better eat all we can cause it might go away again". Don't beat yourself up about it, you have done so well and you will continue to do well.