A Whole New Me

[blair28 0]

So I've gotten thru my 1st seminar, my 1st support group and my 1st visit with the director of the bariatric department. All has gone well. My main concern was when can I have this surgery. I feel as though my life is on hold until I can have this done and so I am battling the anxiety of having to wait. My doctor is telling me that it will be late winter, early spring when I can finally have the surgery done. Being that its September now, I can handle that. Especially since this is my favorite time of year. Of course it is for most fat people am I right? No shorts to wear anymore, no embarrassing sweating because you can't handle the heat, no sandals to show off the swelling in your ankles, no struggling to pull the shorts that have mysteriously ridden up between your thighs down in an inconspicuous way, and lest I forget that this is the time of year when everyone overeats so us fat people always fit right in and we aren't usually judged for it! This all gets me into an excited frenzy of what ifs and what may come. What it will feel like to want to go out to eat and not always go to places that have a drive thru. What it will feel like to walk into a regular size store and not feel like an intruder. What it will feel like to be able to come home from work and not immediately put my feet up because my legs, knees, ankles and calves are swollen. To finally put to rest that "fat guy in little coat" or in my case, "fat girl in little coat" syndrome. To not worry that when you bend over the pair of pants you squeezed yourself into is not going to burst at the seems. So I'm finally on my journey, starting it out big as life and hopefully by the end partaking of life...in decent size portions! LOL

My next visit with the doctor is on October 9th. I go in for my whole bundle of tests. I have an excellent group of family and friends backing me. Although some with reservations but they are entitled to their opinion. I am so glad I found this website. I keep telling my husband that just like an alcoholic needs AA, I need some form of support group method to keep me on the straight and narrow. Otherwise it will all be for nothing.

I read a post on here that asked everyone to list all the things that you will NOT miss about being fat. It was amazing to me, because its like someone plucking the thoughts out of my own mind. We all feel the same pressures and ridicule, but I think we isolate ourselves so much that we don't realize that everyone is going thru it and thinking the same thing. Why me? Why do I have such a hard time losing? Why can I gain 5 pounds just looking at a slice of pizza?

K, I've rambled enough, wish me luck!

[crzytchr 3]

Good Luck! Your surgery will occur before you know it. You sound like you are mentally prepared for this and have thought it through.

One thing that will help you while you wait for the time to pass is to practice eating like a banded person. Start chewing, chewing, chewing, and practice eating without drinking. That seems to be an adjustment that gives many people a hard time.