Accountability

[tapshoes 2]

Ezma, you know better than to be comparing to what you used to lose. Just focus on you are losing. That's the key.

RSG - Don't beat yourself up; don't give yourself grief. Think of it a different way - you are determined to be successful.

I'm not looking forward to the weekend - the weather is to be dreary, and I am more inclined to munch away then. I KNOW I need to keep busy, and I have planned a bit of a baking marathon for Xmas (this isn't a problem for me, I don't have a sweet tooth), but still...there may be nuts! In fact, xmas baking ALWAYS includes nuts...rolling rum-balls in crushed pecans; apricot cakes with almonds; fruit and nut balls ..........nuts nuts and more nuts!!

I am stronger than my cravings; I can do this!

I am stronger than my cravings; I can do this!

I am stronger than my cravings; I can do this!

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

I am stronger than my cravings; I can do this!

I am stronger than my cravings; I can do this!

I am stronger than my cravings; I can do this!

it's gonna be a easy peasy weekend. Cause I am stronger than my cravings!!!

[tapshoes 2]

Tap is sad....Tap is angry with herself, and sad. Tap is also bad.

After feeling so good about reaching a 'normal bmi' last week, she blew it this week. I know I only just squeaked into a normal bmi (by a mere .3 of a pound), and I did eat like a horse yesterday, but still.....wahhhhhh!!!!

OK - back to eating properly - although today I think I will stick with liquids to give my gut a break.

[Ezma 2]

Tap is not bad! Tap just had a very normal, though not so kind to the band, food adventure yesterday. Tap is motivated and strong and back on track today. :thumbup:

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Tap is awesome and knows that she can do this.

*(((((Hug))))))*

[tapshoes 2]

Aw, thanks Ezma, thanks RSG.

Just feeling ashamed and angry. I have my Soup for lunch, but that 'negative nelly' in my fat brain is saying, "See, you can't do this. See, it's going to be just like every other diet. Why bother?" I know this will pass, but right now, I'm struggling...that's why Im here.

My fellow VVs and other bandsters will help - give me a swift kick in the rear!

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

You tell Negative Nelly, that I know people that know people and she better be quiet.

[Ezma 2]

Well, I'm doing it again. I'm doing the stress eating and the "whew, I'm done with the diet, now give me that" eating. But the good news is I'm posting here so I can get it out in the open and move on. I'm determined to eat healthy today. It's amazing how fast you feel sluggish after eating a bunch of sugar. Plus I think I figured out how I was gaining even when I thought I was being good on south beach. Turns out starbucks breve latte has a lot, and I mean a lot, of half and half in it. Explains why it tastes so good and why I could gain a couple pounds in a couple days of strict dieting. Probably would have been alright if I had only had one but I was drinking 3-4 large size ones at the hospital. So now I'll make it at home and take it to the hospital. That will also keep me away from the healthy, yah right, zucchini walnut muffins and the whole wheat cranberry scones. Today is fresh and clean and new. I intend to keep my body that way also.

[tapshoes 2]

That WAS a revelation, wasn't it Ezma? Guess that's why 'they' advise using a calorie counter for your foods....find those 'hidden' calories and fat grams.

So, knowledge enables action and now that you know, you can change your routines. Way to go!!!

PS I hope hubby is doing better.

[Ezma 2]

He is doing better. Thank you for asking. The antibiotics have cleared up half of the infection and got rid of the fever. And either the blood thinner or reduction of his steroids have helped to reduce the swelling all over his body. He has been up and moving around move. Yay! Right now it looks like he'll come home on Saturday. Today I get to learn how to give him a shot in the belly then it's off to work. At least I hope that's the way it will go. It's tough to miss so much time at work right before Christmas.

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Ezma. You are such a strong lady to deal with all this. I wonder what biologically makes people need food when there stressed, or if it is just something that people who already have a problem with food do. Like a smoker smokes more at hospitals. What do you guys think?

Starbucks has so many hidden fat and calories. It's almost like eating a full unhealthy meal. But you know I love my sugar and cream in my coffee, and I've tried substitutes and they make me sad. Sooo, I just limit my coffee, but I can do that because I'm not a coffee addict.

Oh...and I gained three lbs last week, but that was to be expected. I know what happened so I can fix it. It's when I have been trying hard and doing everything right that I gain weight and get sad.

Just gotta get back on that horse. Today has started off great. I have some cut apples dipped in a little lemon juice to keep them from turning, and a little Peanut Butter to dip them in for lunch.

Then I have a busy weekend planned so no time to sit around thinking about food. It's when I get bored that the fridge starts calling.

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Tap is sad....Tap is angry with herself, and sad. Tap is also bad.

After feeling so good about reaching a 'normal bmi' last week, she blew it this week. I know I only just squeaked into a normal bmi (by a mere .3 of a pound), and I did eat like a horse yesterday, but still.....wahhhhhh!!!!

OK - back to eating properly - although today I think I will stick with liquids to give my gut a break.

Hows the liquid thing working out? I maybe could do mushies, but not so sure I can do liquids again. It's hard enough for the two days after the fill.

[tapshoes 2]

RSG - You have to do 2 days of liquids after a fill? Glad I don't have to! I did my day of liquids, and then resumed my normal (my new normal) eating and (with the exception of the Peanut Butter on apple incident) have been doing good.

Isn't it amazing how insistent, insidious, and persistent that call of the refrigerator can be????

Edited November 14, 2008 by tapshoes

[Ezma 2]

I'm really struggling right now. I have a double whammy making it hard to eat right. First off and probably the toughest is that I'm so tired and so busy with the hospital and all that goes with it (phone calls, paper work, emails, etc) that I don't feel like packing and dragging food with me so I end up eating out. It's very difficult to eat right. And secondly, it's hard to want to eat right. I just want to give myself some pleasure and for me, food is the easiest way. Old habits really do die hard.

I'm getting better each day but it's really a struggle and I have 4 pounds to lose again, only 2 up from Tuesday but still it's up. I have to find a way to care about losing weight again. I know it's for me but it's so hard when I'm getting more energy to do all those things we always wanted to do and he's getting sicker and less energy.

Okay, enough of that. Pity party is over. Time to move on and get back on track. Please!

[tapshoes 2]

Hey Ezma, you are being too hard on yourself. You are coping with enormous stresses - a very ill hubby who is in hospital; working; family life; and trying to watch your food intake...it isn't a pity party you are having, it is a natural reaction.

How I wish I could do something other than send my sincere heart-felt best wishes.

Don't beat yourself over this; accept the time is difficult. Do the best you can, and remember the band will keep working even if you are distracted for a while.