Unsupportive husband and mom...

*slim* · September 7, 2008

I am so sorry that you are going through this with your family. I too have an unsupportive husband and mother when it comes to this. I just had to decide who I was having this done for. I am doing this for MY health. My entire family (excluding dh) is overweight. They all have type II diabeties (including my mother who is in denial about it), high blood pressure, and sleep apnea, etc. I am pre-diabetic and now have high blood pressure. I don't want this unhealthy life! Just keep in mind that you are doing this because of you. I hope that everything works out with your insurance. Good luck on your journey!

alcambra · September 7, 2008

Leighann,

I am soooooo sorry that your husband and mom are not supprtive. As many has replyed you will find A LOT of suuport on Lapbandtalk.com. I know that just reading some of post are very hellpful and suportive. REMEMBER the lapband is a TOOL.

You can do this if you feel it is right for YOU!

JSOTO · September 7, 2008

I dxdo not know how long ago that you have posted this, but you will have all of us to support you! This is your life, and your body, and it looks like if you wait for everyone to give you premission to have the lap band, you may need to loose 100 pounds!!!!! do not wait, do not hesitate, and do not listen to anyone, especially family and friends that love you....often they are scared for you, and afraid that you will fail again at the weight loss, and sometimes there is jelousy...yes, even among family members!!!! You are an adult that deserves to live a better, healthier life...so you can do what ever you like when it comes to your own body, guess what? I finally realized this myself, i have lost almost 50 pounds, still loosing, and getting healthier everyday...for those around me, they no longer have one word to say about it, except WOW!!!!!!!!!

Good luck!

Leighann · September 7, 2008

I am literally tearing up... you all have no idea how encouraging you are... and as I stated dh is not triyng to keep me down... he gave up a long time ago :lol: but he really is scared and he does see it as "the easy way out". Also even if approved we have not fully met our deductible so he is thinking money too :wink: but I told him it would likely be near the end of this year, so we could finance it and use the tax refund to fully pay it. He said he will go Tuesday and not begrudingly (sp?). He said he knows I need to lose it but he really believes if I want it bad enough I can just do it. I can't. I keep telling him and it will sink in. :thumbup:

The thought that my joints could stop hurting is an answer to prayer... I do have pain elsewhere but what really gets me down is the ankle pain. It is literally bad enough I cry when walking to the bathroom when its at the worst. :thumbup: Something has to give... and that something is this 90lbs... :thumbup:

heartfire · September 7, 2008

Leighann, I also want to throw my hat into your ring of supporters. It's tough to not have support. I knew my mom would be supportive as she had gastric bypass about 5 years ago and has done really great with it. She's also seen/heard/felt my struggle with my weight for the last 20 years.

My husband, I wasn't so sure how he'd react. He's always been supportive of my WL efforts but surgery? I had no idea how he'd react. We talked and I told him the only way I knew I could do this was with insurance. There was/is just no way we could afford to be self-pay. Turned out he was willing to have me go through the process and see what would happen. I was approved by our insurance and he agreed that he would support me. He would also police me some too! LOL! He does that when I'm dieting. It helps, whether I like it or not and he's not mean about it, he just gives me a look!

I'm praying that your DH gets the reassurance that he needs on Tuesday. Encourage him to write down questions as he thinks of them in the next couple of days and take them with you so he can ask them if they don't get answered throughout the evening. Unfortunately, with my DH's schedule, the first thing he was able to attend with me was the pre-op appt. with my surgeon! That was after starting this journey in February and going to classes for 20 weeks! He's a fireman and when he was home, needed to stay with our DD so I could go to class. But he was there with me for surgery after managing to get the day off (miracle! it's fire season!) and has been taking good care of me and DD (2yrs old) when he's home.

Anyway, I'm pulling for you. Hang in there. Be proactive, whether that means with your DH, mom, doctors or insurance. I'd also suggest that you just ask you mom for her support whether she agrees with you or not, she CAN be there for you and your family!

Best wishes and keep us up to date!