Cold Feet? Long term implications...

[Kbel 0]

Hi,

I am booked for a lapband on Monday 27 June. I have been very postive and strong about my decision but last night I had my first appointment with the dietitian and now I am wondering whether I should go ahead...

I have no problem with the interim liquid diet/ mushy food diet etc. My concern is with the long term implications. I understand that sacrifices have to be made but I am keen to know how people cope with the smaller portions. How much can you REALLY eat? What about going out for dinner? Special occasions?

Any comments, feedback welcome as I am feeling rising panic and realise that I really don't know enough about what my life/ lifstyle will be like in the future.

Thanks

Kristen

Melb, Australia.

[Prsloan 0]

Hi Kristen,

Funny you should ask this today...I am 6 weeks post-op and have lost 21 lbs. thus far. Just last night my dh and I went out for our anniversary dinner and I was able to have a bit of everything - great bread, salad, potato, crab cake and filet mignon...along w/ wine. NOT huge portions of any of them but enuf' that I was satisfied. And when I started feeling full - I stopped. So no PB's or anything. It was divine.

In contrast, I could only eat 3 bites of lunch yesterday before getting restriction and knew I had to stop.

I haven't had a fill yet and at this slow, steady rate of loss / restriction, I won't for awhile.

It most definitely is a new way of eating but I wouldn't have the band unless I NEEDED a new way of eating...there are adjustments you will make but to feel your clothes looser and see the scale inch downward, it is all worth it.

Good luck!

Paula

4/30/2005

Dr. Alberto Aceves

215/194/155

[Alexandra 55]

Kristen, your concerns are totally understandable. It's certainly a learning curve and learning how to eat less is not easy. But it's what's needed to lose weight!

I'm almost two years out and don't hesitate at all to go out for dinner. Unless I want to have lots of leftovers, though, I order off the appetizer menu. Some restaurants offer a half-portion but that's usually a total ripoff so I don't do that. And then of course there are the foods that go down easy, and if nothing on the appetizer menu seems appealing I'll go for fish or something really soft.

So there are adjustments to be made indeed but they're not the sort of thing that make you feel like a spectator on the sides. They're the kind that lead to a better life!

[I'llsucceed 1]

I am so glad this thread was started- I am not quite 14 days post-op. And still on the liquid stage- I know these stages like the back of my hand(having done soooomuch research) before& I was prepared to feel deprived a bit BUT-The other nite- I found myself crying over "30 minute meals w/Rachel Ray". She was making a artichoke & scallop meal & other things w/wines. Everything I love. I thought "Oh-that will be to fiberous & that won't work either" so on & so On. I think they say that this is the morning part you go through after banding.

On the flip side after about 10 mins I said well"It really should be about how others enjoy what i may prepare & me enjoying their conversation & company"-SOMETHING I did before But Not has MUCH has I was too busy eating more than most people. We all need to know that having a dinner party wearing a size 10 or 12 & not sweating as much feels so much better than it does now. At least for me - I don't have dinner parties like i used to .

[Iluvharleys 15]

I was really concerned with this too before banding.

We have great neighbors and we are always getting together and having a party. I can eat everything, just in smaller portions. It doesn't bother me at all, because I get full on the smaller portions. I guess if I didn't get satisfied, then it would bother me, but just because I can't eat as much as I used to doesn't bother me at all anymore.

We go out for dinner all the time, and I usually order something different from my DH, sometimes I order a full meal, other times I order something smaller. My DH usually eats what I don't eat, and if I want a bite or two of his, he doesn't mind at all. It works out just fine.

[the best me 6]

Last night I ate 2 slices of pizza and a small salad. I could have lived without the 2nd slice of pizza, but I REALLY wanted it! It was very yummy.

So what I noticed was that 3-4 weeks ago I had much better restriction than I now have, and one slice of pizza was PLENTY! Yes, I could have shoved few more bites of another slice, but I was able to say, "nope, I have had enough" and be done.

Now, I am not as restricted (fill time!) and I really, and I mean really, wanted that second slice. So I ate it. I had less will-power to turn down that second slice. I am not properly restricted, or it wouldn't be an issue.

Noone looked at me funny, I didn't feel out of place even though I sat and chewed and chewed and chewed and then got a bit of the burps (one of my signals to stop eating) but I wasn't this "banded moron" at our church supper.

On the flip side, pre-band, I would have been able to eat 4-5 slices of pizza, plus the kid's crusts, and the salad, and a brownie for dessert. I would have been able to eat ALL that, AND I WOULD HAVE.

I can tolerate this long term implication.

Good luck to you!!!

[Alexandra 55]

I could have lived without the 2nd slice of pizza, but I REALLY wanted it!

You know, this syndrome never goes away, and it's what we have to be really on guard against. Last night I had a second chicken thigh, even though I knew perfectly well that I wasn't hungry, didn't need it, and it might lead to heartburn (which it did). So why did I eat it? Ahhhh, the $64,000 question.

Sigh. Some days you beat the bear, some days the bear beats you. The good news is that it was only two chicken thighs, not FOUR, and I only had a small amount of the rice it was served with. It helps to put it into perspective like that, knowing that what is "too much" now is nowhere near the amount it used to be. And that's what it's all about.

[Mariposa Bella 3]

Kristen, you just have to learn to take one day at a time, is all I can say. I have been banded since Nov, and still have days when I wish I could eat a lot more. For example, last month we went away for three days and we went to this fabulous crab house, well they had a seafood buffet, everything you can imagine and more (I love LOVE seafood) well I had a shrimp appetizer which was more than enough food for me, but I couldn't help but feeling cheated out of all that delicious food. My husband had tons of everything, and I just sat there, slowly chewing my little shrimp. I felt so angry at my band, wishing I didn't have it and wanting to stuff myself full of all that food. They even had fresh baked bread, but could I have any, NO... But you know what, on the way out, my husband saw my disappointment and told me, you know, look at how beautiful you are and how thin you look, it is worth it. And as I walked out in my loose fitting size 12 short shorts, I felt fabulous. This band is my salvation, no more yo-yo dieting for me, just moderation. I can eat delicious food, just less of it, I can enjoy going out and spending time w/ friends. You have to learn that you eat to live, not live to eat... Before eating out was about wolfing down lots of food, only to regret it later and today, I can go out, enjoy a little bit of food and really focus on other things and not just the eating. I look and feel really good and even though I need a fill and have not lost any more weight, I have managed to keep these 34 lbs off and that is a huge success. So you see, there will be some days when you will have bad days, but the good ones, will far outweigh the bad ones. You are just having presurgery jitters and its perfectly normal we all went through that. So good luck and when we are skinny and healthy and more beautiful, we will not look back and regret this at all!!!

[Infaith 1]

Kristen-I think every bandster has felt this way. For myself, I try to make decisions of what I REALLY want to taste and have that (even if it may not be the absolute best thing for me). Yes, sometimes we will still eat too much but in contrast to what we normally would have eaten pre-banded....it's a huge difference. Like Kathy said, instead of the 2 pieces of pizza, she would have eaten 4 or more plus dessert plus who knows whatelse. That would have been me. I would never have stopped eating.

As for going out to dinner....I am usually with my mom and she is a very small eater so we usually find something totally divine and split it. And there is nothing wrong with taking the leftovers home to enjoy later. I find I taste and really enjoy food more than I ever did before. It was never in my mouth long enough before to really taste it.

Positives-my grocery bill is SO much less that I will buy stuff I usually would not have before because I'm going for quality and not quantity. And that is what this is all about...quality of LIFE. You'll never regret taking care of yourself Kristen. Best wishes.

[daisydoodle 0]

I was so scared I was going to be some kind of freak of nature that wouldn't fit into social situations that involved food. NOT THE CASE! People that don't know I'm banded haven't suspected a thing. They just think that I am cutting back on my food intake~ hence my weightloss.

The only trick you have to disguise is NO MORE DRINKING WITH FOOD! I just order Water and sip on it until my food arrives....after that, I just don't drink anymore. No one notices anything. If I'm going to have a cocktail or glass a wine, I order it before my meal....sip on it until my food arrives and everything is normal.

This was a big concern for me. I appreciate your anxiety. I can only tell you that this has been a fairly easy transition for me and I don't regret it one bit!

[Aussiegirl 0]

Hi Kristen - I am originally from Melbourne, but have lived in Hobart for the last 9 years. I was banded in February 2004. Welcome to you!

I think the replies you have received have been wonderful and like everyone else, I can empathise with your apprehension. There are still times when I don't cope well with the restriction in portion size - I get resentful and angry, but you know what, those times are happening less and less as food becomes less of an interest for me and as I lose more and more weight. It is worth it!

We all develop coping mechanisms - and others have mentioned these eg only ordering entree size meals in restaurants, figuring out what you really feel like eating and having that etc etc. I have also found that it is better for me, to be upfront and honest with people I am having meals with about why I am eating so little. I came to this realisation when some of my acquaintances thought I had an eating disorder!

Special occasions often revolve around food. It is my birthday shortly and previously my plans would have revolved around breakfast/lunch/dinner on that day - instead I am planning other non food treats eg cinema, having a facial or massage etc etc.

You are doing the right thing by seeking out the stories and advice from those who have already been through it. I think the old adage "nothing tastes as good as losing weight feels" really applies. Best wishes and let us know how you go.

Kirstie.

[Kbel 0]

I am incredibly heartened by all of your encouraging responses. I spent most of last night on a deep dip on the emotional rollercoaster – lots of tears and tantrums. I guess it is normal to have the ‘pre-op jitters’, I just didn’t realise how hard they would hit me.

I am still nervous. Is such a reaction the norm? The tears? These feeling of failure tinged with cautious optimism?

What about telling people? So far I have told only my partner and sister. I am wary of telling others (even my mother) for fear of judgement I guess. I assume everyone is unique in how they approach this issue but I am interested to know.

Apologies for having so many questions but I felt enormous relief (and emotion) when I logged on this morning and read all of your supportive words. I haven’t known anyone who has had the op done.

Kirstie, I think I will put that saying: “nothing tastes as good as losing weight feels" above my desk.

[Aussiegirl 0]

Hi again Kristen.

Yep, I would hazard a guess and say that the nerves, tears and apprehension are perfectly normal. I myself was nervous but excited at the same time because I was afraid of failure, but at the same time convinced that this was going to be a life changing experience.

I didn't tell many people initially either as I actually felt guilty about having to go to such extreme lengths to do something about my weight - I felt downright ashamed.

However, as I mentioned before in my previous post that once the weight loss was noticeable and I had reached the right level of restriction, I found that I needed to tell those that I was eating with or those who were hosting me at their houses for dinner. I did that because I didn't want to offend a hostess by not finishing everything on my plate. The best dinner invitations are buffet style affairs where you can just pick and choose what and how much you wnat. Whether you do or not, is entirely up to you. Once you tell someone, you can't untell them.

The couple of people that I told prior to surgery, were fantastic and of great encouragement and support, particularly in the immediate post op period when I was feeling quite fragile. The people that I have told post surgery have mostly been curious, but no-one has been judgemental...well, to my face anyway!

[Guest Shelley W]

Great thread - has answered alot of my own fears.

I do have a question though - why does a fill wear off? You all seem to get good restriction and then after a while the effect stops, why is that?

Surely you can't go on getting fills for ever, so what happens in a few years time?

Please help me with this if you can

Thanks

[Alexandra 55]

Hi Shelley,

One reason a fill "wears off" is that we lose weight and the tissues of and around the stomach get smaller. We have to remember that the band and stomach are a system, and restriction is not solely dependent on the amount of Fluid in the band at any given time. Restriction can come and go with changes in our bodies, so IMO it's always a good idea to let at least a couple of weeks go by after a fill or after thinking about getting one--the situation may change again!