Co-worker Sabotage

[LiveLoveLaugh 0]

Co-worker Sabotage how do you deal with this? I'm doing so well at Keeping on plan. Yet I have a co-worker who knows I have the Lap-Band. This co-worker is also over weight, has a serious health condition Diabetes yet eats candy, carbs, & all the other wrong foods all day long. She always congrats me on how I'm looking and how well I deflect all the incoming treats the doctors bring in for the staff...... (*(&*^%$%@#@#$^&* LOL,LOL,LOL

So today she comes in with a Med. Iced Capp from Tim Hortons and donut holes for me along with her own items....... Hmm, first it was nice of her to think of me, yet I've asked her in a very nice way in the past many times (please keep in mind I'm on my own personal plan of eating and I don't indulge on any other food or drink that I didn't bring or plan for my day here at work) Everyone else in my office complies but yet this one co-worked feels she needs to feed me. I don't want to offend or perhaps create office drama. I just need for it to stop being an issue!!

Today I refused the donut holes all together when offered, then I waited for the next co-worker to come in I gave my Iced coffee away making sure the bad so called co-worker could hear that I said ( it was nice of Sandra to think of me, but this Iced coffee is not on my plan and we all know I don't indulge on any outside calories not planned for the day so I'm passing this special treat on to you so please enjoy) So what do you think? Was this how you would deal with this????

Help!! :tongue2:

[Jodi_620 37]

I think you handled it beautifully! I would have had a much harder time holding my toungue.

I did have that problem with one co-worker, as sweet as she was I would get so annoyed with her but she has recently left the company.

[health4life 0]

You did quite well. I wouldn't have been as kind. I would have called her out on it. The saying is still true "misery loves company". Don't fall for that cheap trick. Hang in there and keep your goal in the forefront of your mind. :tongue2:

Co-worker Sabotage how do you deal with this? I'm doing so well at Keeping on plan. Yet I have a co-worker who knows I have the Lap-Band. This co-worker is also over weight, has a serious health condition Diabetes yet eats candy, carbs, & all the other wrong foods all day long. She always congrats me on how I'm looking and how well I deflect all the incoming treats the doctors bring in for the staff...... (*(&*^%$%@#@#$^&* LOL,LOL,LOL

So today she comes in with a Med. Iced Capp from Tim Hortons and donut holes for me along with her own items....... Hmm, first it was nice of her to think of me, yet I've asked her in a very nice way in the past many times (please keep in mind I'm on my own personal plan of eating and I don't indulge on any other food or drink that I didn't bring or plan for my day here at work) Everyone else in my office complies but yet this one co-worked feels she needs to feed me. I don't want to offend or perhaps create office drama. I just need for it to stop being an issue!!

Today I refused the donut holes all together when offered, then I waited for the next co-worker to come in I gave my Iced coffee away making sure the bad so called co-worker could hear that I said ( it was nice of Sandra to think of me, but this Iced coffee is not on my plan and we all know I don't indulge on any outside calories not planned for the day so I'm passing this special treat on to you so please enjoy) So what do you think? Was this how you would deal with this????

Help!!

[LiveLoveLaugh 0]

Thanks for your reply... Ya think that was good?..... Great because I would never want to create a frinzy with my co-worker. We all really get along well!! I sometimes think it's done without her even knowing she's bothering me beyond words. I'm now close to 80 pounds lost so it's now becoming so noticeable everyday someone/or more make great compliments to me. I know she really wants to also lose weight to be more healthy.My sister told me that she may have a little jealous bug going inside.... Without the knowledge she's doing it shes feeding me to help her own feelings. I hate thinking this could be true. I'd love to help anyone who needs a hand at getting healthier, losing weight and feeling better. I know she asks a ton of questions about my band etc.... I even gave her my doctor's card for her to research.

Edited September 5, 2008 by LiveLoveLaugh

[health4life 0]

Yeah it was good. However, if it continues, you may have to be more direct, in a nice way. I agree with your sister. Trust me, she knows what she's doing. If I knew my co-worker just had weight loss surgery, there is no way I would be that disrespectful to bring in donuts, cappacinos with all that sugar and Syrup. You've done great with your weight loss and it shows. 80 lbs is alot of weight loss. It's great you are trying to help her, but it sounds like you have given her the tools in which to do so. It's up to her to take the next steps if this is what she really wants. I'm reminded of a quote by Les Brown "Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else."

Thanks for your reply... Ya think that was good?..... Great because I would never want to create a frinzy with my co-worker. We all really get along well!! I sometimes think it's done without her even knowing she's bothering me beyond words. I'm now close to 80 pounds lost so it's now becoming so noticeable everyday someone/or more make great compliments to me. I know she really wants to also lose weight to be more healthy.My sister told me that she may have a little jealous bug going inside.... Without the knowledge she's doing it shes feeding me to help her own feelings. I hate thinking this could be true. I'd love to help anyone who needs a hand at getting healthier, losing weight and feeling better. I know she asks a ton of questions about my band etc.... I even gave her my doctor's card for her to research.

[LiveLoveLaugh 0]

Thanks for the advice...... I will take your plan into action if it continues. I'll get the strength & will to make it a point for her to know she's not helping me and that extra treats being brought in for me will no longer be acceptable..... Getting a back bone for my own health and well being. Thanks for being my sounding board, and that she in fact should know what she's doing to derail me on my journey!!! This helps vaildate what I knew in my heart was going on.......

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

LiveLoveLaugh -

I applaud you for your restraint...I don't know that I could have been as kind as you were. That said, the next time she wants to "treat" you, make a loud announcement that she needs to stop. Embarass the heck out of her and if she doesn't like it, so what!

She may very well be jealous - and sabotaging you, ever so slightly, is her way of dealing with it without referring to it directly. If she can get you to cheat, she can say that the procedure wouldn't help her, because after all, if virtuous you can't be good, how will she ever make it?

Don't let her do it to you! You could, alternatively, try telling her one more time that she should NOT bring you any such thing, but after that, get loud and ugly and make it plain enough for ER'BODY to hear!:tongue2:

Good luck - and you're doing phenominally well - keep up the good work!

[tapshoes 2]

You handled a potentially upsetting and embarrassing situation beautifully - with diplomacy and tact. I agree that perhaps she is (perhaps subconsciously) trying to derail your efforts; you have to be strong.

I would always prefer a less confrontational approach that others may suggest particularly if you work closely with this co-worker, but you must find a way that finally does make her stop. You may have to revert to embarrassing her, but make that a last resort.

[abby1 0]

Speak to her privately and firmly telling her you regret she is having problems with your weight loss, but that is her problem. Tell her you are not going to accept any more treats she brings in and to save her money. Tell her you are going to do this publicly and this is going to cause her embaressment not you. Keep each response firmer and louder, letting the rest of the office know about her sabotaging you. Bring in lap band materials and hand her one each time she continues to bring in a treat for you.

[Froggi 4]

What you did was perfect and classy. How rude of her to bring you those fattening things. I think she is jealous of you and is hoping she can get you to gain weight back so she can feel better about herself. What you did was fabulous. I would have had a hard time not screaming at her. Good for you!

[snowbird 2]

You did very well, and I wouldn't confront her either publicly or privately. What would be the point? She sees that you are doing what she should be doing about food, so she has two choices: feel bad about herself, or make herself feel better by showing that you aren't really better because you will eat what she brought you. Well, you already showed her that you aren't going to cooperate in that. A confrontation would just cause hard feelings; giving away her "gifts" repeatedly should embarass her sufficiently and show her you can be successful.

Just continue to give away whatever she brings you, and you will force her to realize that to make herself feel better she will have to change herself, not you!

[health4life 0]

You cannot conquer what you don't confront. Although you are handling it silently, some people don't take hints too well and do need to be confronted. This in NO WAY implies being rude or mean about it, but some people only understand if you bring it to their attention politely. I don't believe it should be done in front of other people; however, if it continues after continuing to give her gifts away, it may come to a private discussion and explanation. She may just need to understand your goals and your plans by which you plan to achieve them. Having that knowledge alone may encourage her not to bring certain things for you. The greatest gift we can give someone is the gift of our honest self. Hope this helps.

[HeatherO 7]

I think you handled it well. If you just keep handling it the same way, she will eventually get the message. Another option is just to talk with her privately and ask that she doesn't do it anymore.

[Numbrgirl 0]

Goodies and sweets have been around offices since the beginning of time and everyone uses food as a comfort, entertainment, to socialize, etc. Just yesterday one of my sweet co-workers walked in and put a plate of cake and other assorted goodies on my desk because there was a birthday celebration going on somewhere and she didn't want me to miss out. I said "Thank You!" and then promptly went and left the plate in the production area where all the guys could lay claim to it. Only one gal in my office knows about my lap band and I have made it clear that it is only as restrictive as I want it to be and I don't want people treating me different or leaving me out - I want to make those decisions. She has held my confidence and know one else knows - but they have begun to notice that my weight is coming off. If it is sabotoge then I guess you have to deal with that in your own way.........I would just prefer to be included in the "daily party" and enjoy it with a regular cup of coffee or a yogurt in my hand.

I also went to a pampered chef party last night where all the goodies were being passed around. I came in with my venti iced tea from Starbucks and sipped on that throughout the evening - politely turning down the treats. In the end I had a few cucumber slices and mini sweet pepper and nobody knew the difference.

[health4life 0]

Good for you!!! You have great strenghth and determination. You are so right, all offices have parties and goodies and typically everyone is including in the pitch in; however when the goodies are being brought in constantly by the same individual on a regular basis, it does begin to look like sabatoge to the bander she's bringing it for. It may just be a feeling, but feelings are real and must be dealt with adequetely. Maybe the person feeling sabatoged should begin bringing in vegi and fruit trays.

Goodies and sweets have been around offices since the beginning of time and everyone uses food as a comfort, entertainment, to socialize, etc. Just yesterday one of my sweet co-workers walked in and put a plate of cake and other assorted goodies on my desk because there was a birthday celebration going on somewhere and she didn't want me to miss out. I said "Thank You!" and then promptly went and left the plate in the production area where all the guys could lay claim to it. Only one gal in my office knows about my lap band and I have made it clear that it is only as restrictive as I want it to be and I don't want people treating me different or leaving me out - I want to make those decisions. She has held my confidence and know one else knows - but they have begun to notice that my weight is coming off. If it is sabotoge then I guess you have to deal with that in your own way.........I would just prefer to be included in the "daily party" and enjoy it with a regular cup of coffee or a yogurt in my hand.

I also went to a pampered chef party last night where all the goodies were being passed around. I came in with my venti iced tea from Starbucks and sipped on that throughout the evening - politely turning down the treats. In the end I had a few cucumber slices and mini sweet pepper and nobody knew the difference.