HELP - I'm getting complacent!

[SuzanneG 1]

Hi everyone,

I was banded Jan 08 and I've lost 68 pounds. I have gone from a size 20 to a size 10 and of course everyone is telling me how amazing I look.

Here's the thing, I'm still overweight and need to lose 22 more pounds to meet my goal. I have finally caught up with my sister, we work in the same office building, so people seem to assume that I'm done losing and constantly tell me I don't need to lose more weight.

Although it is flattering, its dampening my motivation. How can I fix this?

Before you come back with all your tips, I should warn you. I am NOT a dieter, I was done with that before I got the band. I don't weigh and measure and count and record my food. If I was capable of staying dedicated to that, I wouldn't have needed the band. My band works perfect, I don't think I need a fill, I even think I'm at my sweet spot and have done wonderfully with just eating my small meals.

What's happening is that I'm getting careless, I'm saying yes to a small slice of cake at our office monthly birthday celebrations, I'm allowing myself to snack, I've had ice cream. OMG - What is going on!?! Also, I HATE exercise. I did buy Wii and it's so fun, but I don't play with it every day. I do the other tips, I take the stairs at work, every trip to the bathroom, I go all the way to the ground floor and back up to 10th floor, then one lap around the building and I park my car in the far away spot. That's about all I'm good for at the moment. I'm one of those people that exercise has NEVER helped me lose weight, no idea why, but it doesn't help me in the least.

So, I just need to get back to my band basics and stop being complacent and careless. Maybe I need a slap on the wrist, or just someone to question me if I'm following the rules. I'm going to discuss this and my goal with my doctor on the 15th.

So many people are picking on me for wanting to lose 22 more pounds, but that puts me squarely in the normal range and that's where I want to be! I think it's causing me a head trip to constantly hear that I shouldn't lose any more weight. How can I get serious again and work with my band?

Pep talk anyone? :tongue2: Slap on the wrist?

Edited September 5, 2008 by SuzanneG

[luluc 6]

i think it's easy to be complacent at a certain point in weightloss. when your loss is commented by others and you feel/look better, it's easy to slip and "allow" yourself indulgences.

i'd like to lose another 8/10lbs, and get many comments that i "should" be done...but i know that 8/10lbs will put me on the lower to middle BMI range, so it's not a stretch wanting that.

i took the goal number off my tag line last month, so not to focus on that number, just concentrate on my fitness. i do enjoy working out, so that's not an issue for me. i'm finding i have to have balance in this process, food & fitness have to go hand & hand for me....

not sure i gave any advised, just understand where your coming from.

[Melody2006 1]

Wow, your so close to your goal! Only 22 pounds left to go? Only you know whats best for you. You went through a surgery for this, others who have not had it can't understand that and know whats best for you.

[Bozzj 0]

first--sounds like you've done such a great job! congrats.

it sounds like you do not have an issue with doing more...but more of an issue with getting "lazy" and losing motivation.

So, why don't you tell people around you--those you are friendly with--that you need to lose 22lbs to be healthy. ask them to call you out when you're "cheating" isn't that what many of us do when we start our 'diets' anyway (or in the past i kept it quiet so i can cheat and no one would know i was trying to lose lol).

you need to be accountable again. tell people that when you reach for cake for them to hand you some cheese instead lol. i mean--it works if you're really ready to step back up to the plate and lose the last 22lbs. i mean you're almost there!!! imagine if back when you started someone told you that you could be healthy if you just lost 22lbs! we'd all do it in a second!

if i were you--i'd make one "cheat day" a week...that day you can snack on some cake or whatever (just not binge) and that way you don't feel cheated. you can do it...you've done SO much already.

Here's what I've done: I've lost almost 52lbs in like 4 months or so...so everyone at work is like "wow don't lose much more" (ahh, i'm STILL 100lbs overweight lol..but they are used to seeing me so much bigger i look slim to them). I told them "well my doctor recommends i lose 100 more so i can be healthy." I was surprised at how they responded to that--so caring and concerned. when you drop the "healthy" word people will respond to you as well.

good luck.

[SuzanneG 1]

Thanks Luluc, I read so many of your posts and I value your opinion. I know I need to do more with exercise, but that is a tough one for me. I know that the BLTs (bites, licks, and tastes) and hurting me right now and I have to get serious about cutting those back out. I'm hoping that posting this will give me fresh motivation as I want to report back to the group, that I have regained control.

Bozzj - I hear ya! When I tell people that I want to lose 22 more pounds, they say hurtful stuff, that they think is a compliment, like "you'll look like a crack head!" or "what are you trying to do, look like an anerexic!". They are becoming less supportive and handing me the cake saying, "A little slice won't hurt!" Grrrrrrr I love the cheat day idea! I used to do that on WW and I think that would help! THANKS!

Melody, Thanks for the pep talk. You guys are amazing. I don't know what I would do without LBT!

Thanks for listening everyone!

Edited September 5, 2008 by SuzanneG

[stI24nger 1]

Don't worry about it!!!!

I'm not going to slap your wrist. This is LIFE. You will eat cake and have ice cream every now andd then. If you didn't, then what you're doing would be considering dieting anyway! You've only been banded for 8 months and have lost 68 pounds. According to the doctors, you still have 10-16 months to lose the rest of your weight...and it's only 22 pounds!

You're doing the right thing by talking to your doctor. He/she will reassure you that you're doing great, and help you make a plan to lose the last 22.

Stop beating yourself up. You're doing AWESOME!

[neverB4 2]

When i let my Protein intake per day drop, less than 60gms per day, I get in a slump..BIG time. I eat larger portions and crave sweets. My support grp last Weds night helped. We were reminded that the band is a tool. it will not lose the weight for us. Then our nutritionist reminded us, "It doesn't fix this problem" while pointing to her head. She reminded us it doesn't cure our decision of what to eat and how to eat. She said that's how people "eat around the band" and allow it to fail. I'm not bashing the band. i love my band and what it has helped me do so far with my weight loss. When I get in my slumps, it's only my mind's thinking fault...not my band!

If we want our band to help us with our goals, we have to help ourseleves first!! Congrats on your weight loss, SUPERB job!! The last 22lbs will be difficult. i fear when I get to that point. And I already have people telling me negative comments when I tell them I want to lose about 40lbs more....it does get aggrevating more than discouraging. it helps boost my motivation though!

[Shamrockgirl60 1]

I am a new bandster, and even now people tell my I am looking better. Which is nice but I have about 70 more pounds to go.

I think the last 20 pounds will be hard for me also. Most people are comfortable with us fatties and when we lose they get theatened a bit by our being able to do it. They may need to lose a few pounds themselves and can't seem to do it. They feel that maybe you are better than they are so they do things to sabotage the diet. By saying your fine, have a little piece of cake, pie, sandwich whatever. They like you fat and don't like you skinny. They won't admit it and probably don't realize that they are doing this.

Good luck losing that last 22 pounds. I am just starting this journey and want to succeed so much. I know the lap band is a tool and it's mostly up to me to use it properly. As my shrink said, you can take that whopper, eat it in tenny tiny bites all day long, but in the end you still ate a Whopper.

Pati

[neverB4 2]

That's what we talked about in our "eating around it" discussion!! Even though you eat smaller protions, if you ate whoppers all the time, well, you just won't lose!! Point truelly valued. Good luck on your journey too. We ARE beautiful pelple because we decided to take a more substantial step to weight loss, not an easy way out!

[bamboobabe 0]

Congratulations on your weightloss! Losing that amount of weight in such a short time is amazing. Perhaps you don't realize it, but you do exercise. Parking further away, taking the steps, etc. All activities don't have to be done in a gym setting. Just moving your body more is exercise.

As for the complancency, we all tend to get a little comfortable when the compliments start rolling in, we can wear old clothes or smaller clothes, and people start giving the "you don't need to lose anymore pep talks". Don't be too hard on yourself. The good thing about the band is that as long as you're not gaining, you can take a little "break" from working it 100% and still lose weight. Even though the loss will come at a much slower rate. If you didn't set an original timetable for yourself and you're not gaining weight, don't sweat it. That next "a-ha" moment will come and you'll get motivated again! Take care.

[B-Man 1]

I am in a very similar position, but I am a lot further from my goal. I work out / exercise quite a bit, but I do not believe I am eating as well as I should. The problem is right now I am ok with that. I still have 60 pounds to go till I reach my goal, and I know I should be working harder at it. I think the thing that is causing me the most problems is that since I do work out so much, I believe that the weight staying static (or even going up two pounds) is ok. My clothes continue to fit looser, and my muscle definition is deffinately picking up, but the scale refuses to move.

[spitfire16 0]

nothing taste as good as skinny feels!!!

[HeatherO 7]

I had my surgery during the same month and am almost at goal as well. I have been having problems with complacency as well, however, I found I can combat it with tracking what I am eating. I know that may not be your style, and it isnt mine either, but by doing that for just a couple of days when I can see what that occasional piece of whatever is doing to my calorie intake, it gets my head back into the groove of losing and I can continue.

[spitfire16 0]

I am not banded yet but I am 61 yrs. old. Do you think it is harder on older people? I just don't want to ruin my health. Do you ever regret doing it? I am scheduled in Nov...thanks

[SuzanneG 1]

Thank you so much for all the suggestions! I knew this was the place to get the support and the tough love that I needed.

I do know that counting calories helps my head persuade my heart, so I will make a promise to do that for a few days at least.

I'm aslo going to try the cheat day, it has worked really well for me in the past, I don't know why I didn't think of it this time.

You guys are amazing and you're all such inspiration! I feel like I have a whole new family out there and I couldn't live without this board!

I wish I was making this promise on a Monday. :tongue2: I don't get online at home (I live in the country and have dialup) but I will check in with you guys on Monday and let you know how I'm doing!

Thanks again and keep those suggestions coming!

PS - Spitfire, I have never regretted, even for a second, getting my band. It is the single best thing I've ever done for myself. I had the slowest metabolism imaginable and I'm in my 40's, but I don't think your age will be a problem. Have you peeked in to the 60's board?