This is CRAP!

[Hollie519 1]

I am obviously in desperate need of some counseling based on the threads I've posted. I took the time to schedule myself an appointment. They were booked solid for 3 weeks. I got an appointment 3 weeks out and put in the absence and make up slip at work on the day I made the appointment. Today is the day I am supposed to go. MY LAZY boss never even approved the absence. I can't even go to my counseling appointment now because she is too busy looking up celebrity gossip while she is supposed to be working. All she had to do was open the e-mail and click yes or no. I mean she has time to approve her own nail appointments during work. I am trying to better myself. This appointment was very important. I'm trying to take everything lately as a sign as not to get discouraged. I mean is this a sign that I am not supposed to go to counseling? Can I find the help I need in myself?

Just needed to vent. thanks

[jmegirl 2]

Aww, I'm so sorry to hear that. You really seem to be struggling! I think it's very important that you see a counselor, because you seem to have a lot of anger building up inside you, and counselors are really great ways to vent all that anger and frustration in one place - so you don't go out and shoot somebody! Or, go on some crazy shopping spree and come home in debt.

Take a deep breath, relax, and call the counselor's office. Tell them your situation (rationally) and ask for the next soonest appointment.

I think it's important you speak to someone. In fact, I think all lap banders should probably see a counselor in the first year or so, simply because the changes that you go through as you begin to lose weight are extensive, and talking with someone, even if all you ever do is just talk, can certainly help regulate your mood and calm you down.

Good luck chica, you can do it!

[wickedme 0]

I'm self employed for the very reason you posted,, I wouldn't put up with anything like that from a boss. I, would have left for the appointment regardless. I have been going to couseling for a month now due to stress management and it has helped me so much, I couldn't have done it by myself and even after I have done the required visits I am still thinking of see my therapist every few months. It is so good to have an unbiased opinion, and have someone to talk things out with sensibly without opinions being thrown in,, or being made to feel like my concerns are bogus. My husband is not emotionally adept to handling the things I go through most of the time. Hes a man, and either just doesn't care about much or doesn't care enough about me as a person to think my concerns are valid,, couseling is my life saver.

I guess I would make sure I got a verbal response to the email next time so that you are sure your boss got the message. I hope it works out for you. One thing about my surgeon is he will not rush to get the surgery going if you miss any appointments with anyone. I had to pay someone out of my own pocket to answer phones so I can get there, it sucks.. Its a family business and its just not in the budget to hire someone..

[stevegoad 32]

I hate to say it, but that is the way it is in the real world. Bosses don't always care about your special needs. It is not right, but it is the truth.

I don't know how much is true in what you say (scheduling nail appointments, reading celebrity gossup, etc.) about your boss, but if it is true, that's her problem, not yours.

But your company, your counselor, and much of the world is not going to worry if you "took the time to schedule an appointment..." They will say, "so, make a phone call and schedule another one on your own time."

Like I said, it is not right, but it is the way things go.

Just relax, hope she approves it eventually, and go on with your life.

[Lanakila 1]

"Put on your big girl panties" honey and take control of your life. Putting the blame on your boss only irritates you more and accomplishes nothing.

Try to follow up with her when you make your next appointment. Maybe don't even tell her what it is for. Maybe she doesn't think you are worth the band. Maybe she thinks you are lazy...lots of people think that about us, you know? Tell the therapists office the truth, then reschedule the best you can. Decide right now how you are going to handle this if your boss does this again. Will you "take lunch late/early", leave anyway, or allow her to piss you off again?

I cannot say that your being angry about this is really indicative of your needing counseling per se. But I do think that counseling in general, anytime you are facing a life-changing experience (before OR after), is really a great strategy. Hang in there...and hang out here...we're here for you!

[Hollie519 1]

My boss had the bypass. She knows the struggles I have having the band. She is not new to needs. I confirmed with her that I sent her this e-mail since she sits 10 feet away from me. I know she makes her nail appointments during work hours because I can hear her. I know she looks at gossip because I can see her computer. Her job is honestly less importnant than mine. At my company they pay you crap. I mean I get paid good because I'm only 18 but I couldn't imagine raising kids off this wage. Granted you don't know what everone makes but my mom works here and is pretty high up and also makes crap. They throw around titles here to make you feel like you're getting something because of the crap pay. Thats not what bothers me though. Just do your job. You want to be a boss, do your job. I mean I had another doctors appointment when I first started so I had to come in early. I said is there anything else I need to do and she said nope. I came in early and got chewed out because I didn't have another person there to be "baby-sitting" me. You'd think someone so careless wouldn't be promoted to managing other people. I just don't like her period. She always has to have the last word. She will argue about how the sky is red until she is blue in the face. She eats candy and fast food allllllll day long. I was beginning to let go and than this. This isn't the first time she has failed to do her job.

Maybe its just me for being upset over this but I am a big girl. I live on my own and pay all my own bills and take care of myself. I guess I just have no idea what its like to not care like some people do.

I mean I'll make it. i just have to reschedule. I just waited for 3 weeks and I want to better myself. I hate prolonging the process.

Don't worry, i'm not the type of mad person who shoots people :]

[jmegirl 2]

My boss had the bypass. She knows the struggles I have having the band. She is not new to needs. I confirmed with her that I sent her this e-mail since she sits 10 feet away from me. I know she makes her nail appointments during work hours because I can hear her. I know she looks at gossip because I can see her computer. Her job is honestly less importnant than mine. At my company they pay you crap. I mean I get paid good because I'm only 18 but I couldn't imagine raising kids off this wage. Granted you don't know what everone makes but my mom works here and is pretty high up and also makes crap. They throw around titles here to make you feel like you're getting something because of the crap pay. Thats not what bothers me though. Just do your job. You want to be a boss, do your job. I mean I had another doctors appointment when I first started so I had to come in early. I said is there anything else I need to do and she said nope. I came in early and got chewed out because I didn't have another person there to be "baby-sitting" me. You'd think someone so careless wouldn't be promoted to managing other people. I just don't like her period. She always has to have the last word. She will argue about how the sky is red until she is blue in the face. She eats candy and fast food allllllll day long. I was beginning to let go and than this. This isn't the first time she has failed to do her job.

Maybe its just me for being upset over this but I am a big girl. I live on my own and pay all my own bills and take care of myself. I guess I just have no idea what its like to not care like some people do.

I mean I'll make it. i just have to reschedule. I just waited for 3 weeks and I want to better myself. I hate prolonging the process.

Don't worry, i'm not the type of mad person who shoots people :]

Please don't get mad when I say this, as I'm only trying to give you some perspective. I think a lot of your struggles stem from your age. I think you are genuinely angry, and I'm not faulting you for that. I'm just saying that with a little more life experience under your belt, you will soon realize that this is how life is, and it's a waste of time and energy to get so worked up over these things that you can't control. They are minor in comparison to the big picture, and eventually you'll calm down and realize that getting angry and stressing yourself out like this is just pointless.

Until then, go tattle on your boss to her boss and tell that she's reading gossip online and making personal appointments during work hours.

[stevegoad 32]

Again I say... that's life.

We've all worked for bosses that we don't like, we've all worked for what we feel is too little.

You're 18. This won't be the last time you feel like your treated unfair. I lost a career (not a job... but a career) because a few people didn't like my weight. The result is that I will be paying off a $70,000 student loan for the rest of my life for a Master's Degree I will not ever use. So pardon me if I am not overly responsive to whining about an unfair boss.

If you don't like it, find a new job. If you feel your boss is not doing her job, there are "whistle blower" laws to protect you. You can report her without anyone knowing who made the report.

But griping about it without taking action just makes you mad and doesn't do her any good.

OK... My rant is finished.

[Hollie519 1]

If you have read any of my posts, I am expecting a job at UCSD in october. So i know its something I have to put up with. Like I said, i just needed to vent. I have no problems with this woman. If you listen to her, you can tell she has had one messed up spiral downward. Good for me, I will be working with my surgeon who cares a LOT about me. He will give me a career no just a job :] So, I'm good to go. i know i have good plans for the future, I just needed to let go.

JMEGIRL, I think you absolutely right. I think you need to tweak your theroy a little. I am not mad because its normal to be mad at my age. I have had years of experience working in the mortgage industry. I know what its like to have bosses who are concerned with themselves and thats it. I think I am angry because i never really had a childhood. i made myself grow up because acceptance seems to come easier from older people. I guess I'm realizing that had I not been so eager to grow up, I wouldn't be dealing with this.

I have a pretty good insight on what my problem is. I didn't mean for my post to sound like complaining. i just needed to let go. Once its on paper, I'm over it.

thanks for your responses.

[LisaB411 0]

Have you talked to your boss about this? Something like, "It's important that I got to this appointment. Here's how I will make up the work... Will you please be sure to sign my request as soon as possible?"

[jmegirl 2]

If you have read any of my posts, I am expecting a job at UCSD in october. So i know its something I have to put up with. Like I said, i just needed to vent. I have no problems with this woman. If you listen to her, you can tell she has had one messed up spiral downward. Good for me, I will be working with my surgeon who cares a LOT about me. He will give me a career no just a job :] So, I'm good to go. i know i have good plans for the future, I just needed to let go.

JMEGIRL, I think you absolutely right. I think you need to tweak your theroy a little. I am not mad because its normal to be mad at my age. I have had years of experience working in the mortgage industry. I know what its like to have bosses who are concerned with themselves and thats it. I think I am angry because i never really had a childhood. i made myself grow up because acceptance seems to come easier from older people. I guess I'm realizing that had I not been so eager to grow up, I wouldn't be dealing with this.

I have a pretty good insight on what my problem is. I didn't mean for my post to sound like complaining. i just needed to let go. Once its on paper, I'm over it.

thanks for your responses.

MORTGAGE INDUSTRY! Well why didn't you say so? I've listened to my mom bitch about the Mortgage industry for about 23yrs now - and I'm only 26!

She works for Wachovia Mortgage in Raleigh, NC (formerly First Union Mortgage - before they were bought out) and let me tell you, she is stressed to the max every damn day of the week - and by month-end, she's doing good if she hasn't banged her head against the wall more than five times!

[Hollie519 1]

Yea see now I'm on the other end. I currently work in foreclosures. So i am familiar with Wacovia. In fact, the ladies in my unit hate Wacovia because they are SO picky. lol But I have done all there is to do with this boss. She is a very bitter lady. She had the bypass 2 years ago and is pregnant. I can't even talk about weightloss in front of her because she is gaining due to the baby. She actually made me realize how old people get to be so onry. She is definantly going to be one of them. I just don't see how people who are impossible to work with get promoted. But hey thats life. Always expect the unexpected. :]

I actually just moved units yesterday. So I have a new boss. Thats why I couldn't leave for the appoinment. He is a real stickler for the rules and I hear he is even worse to work with. I am doing good so far but i didn't want to frustrate him with this confusion of unapproved appointments. But only 1 more month at this company. You bet I'm counting down the days.

[Maribelle 0]

I'm just saying that with a little more life experience under your belt, you will soon realize that this is how life is, and it's a waste of time and energy to get so worked up over these things that you can't control.

I gotta say, I completely disagree with this. I would be worked up, too, because it shows a lack of respect and professionalism on her boss' part. I don't think it has anything to do with age. Hollie, it sounds like you are miserable at work, and counseling will help you figure out where you want to be, and how to get there. Three weeks seems like a long time to wait for an appointment? Why only this particular counselor? Could you call around and see if someone could take you earlier? It seems like trying to schedule with that counselor might be a difficult thing in the long run. Good luck and don't give up on it.

[Fanny Adams 7]

I don't understand. She didn't click Yes or No, which would have sent you a confirmation? If that were me, I'd have gone anyway and if they bitched, said well you didn't say no and I gave you the opportunity. If it is the sort of place where doing that could get you fired, then I would have checked with the boss yesterday, or at the latest today before the appointment, to find out why she hasn't given permission. Is it too late now? Surely it wouldn't be too late until you actually missed the appointment and why would you do that when all you have to do is ask?

[Hollie519 1]

Like I said I just started a new unit on Tuesday. I have heard a lot of bad things about the boss and really just didn't want to be on his bad side. I had told him the appointment was approved a week ago. Neither send me a confirmation. She is supposed to forward it to HR but she never did. There is nothing I could've done to change it. I asked her and mentioned it several times. No offense to her but she is not a very high moraled person. She is a manager who knows more celebrity gossip than she does about her own position.

The appointment I had was for a screening. I haven't been to the place I go in 2 years so I have to do a screening. It's for all the counselors; no particular one. I get to pick after that. I was trying to make the appointment easy for my work schedule. Now I'm just going to take the next available on and they can kiss my ass. lol