sometimey friends....grrrr

[justicenyce 0]

Hey ladies :frown:

So i use to read on this forum how after people expressed interest or had the surgery friends/family started resenting them and acting shaddy. I had the lap band but didnt think my friends could be like that.

:smile: I was wrong. My one good good friend of almost 8 years started acting shaddy just before surgery when she thought i was just thinking about it. When i told i was definitly doing it her shaddyness went into overdrive:cursing:

She is smaller then me she is like a size 14/16. You know the type who would squeeze into gap clothes but would slit her throat before going into lane bryant type stores. Anywho now that i am banded she picked a fight with me and stop speaking to me. Shes also 10 years older than me and i think she fears i am going to be this young skinny sexy thing and she needs me to be the jolly big girl with all the jokes grrrrr:angry:

Justice

:frown:

[aprilapple 1]

You are gonna be this young , skinny, HEALTHY thing!:thumbup:

I shopped the idea around like you just to get an initial response.:thumbup:

My best friend of 20 years(since 10th grade) wasn't as excited for me as I needed her to be. This is a person that I have yo yo dieted with since college. We have both been larger and smaller TOGETHER. The Last couple of years I have been about 3 sizes larger.:smile:

When I mentioned the lapband she was not responsive at all. I interpreted that to mean non supportive of my decision.:w00t:

The funny thing is that she is on diet pills now and shares her weight loss victories with me. Now I am very encouraging of her even though I now know that diet pills are a vicious cycle.:frown:

I have not told her that I am definitely getting the surgery (8 days, holla!) I will just show up one day at a girls night out and not be the fat friend!:frown:

Now I will say that based on her lack of response or subject changing that she is not supportive. I have not in good faith tried to talk to her about how this makes me feel. I am just not willing to set myself up for disappointment.:tt2:

Is it possible that by sister from another mister, my tight, my home girl is one of THOSE friends-

Afraid that my surgery will mean that we won't have fat in common anymore?

[justicenyce 0]

Hey April

I know losing weight is frustrating maybe your friend was afraid you are no longer going to the yo yo buddy if you have the surgery. Congrats on your surgery date girl and dont tell anyone that isnt 101% behind you. Maybe have a heart to heart after surgery ...you dont want anything messing with your mind pre op. I know my friend is one of those friends for sure but hopefully your girl will be there after all.

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

Hey Ladies,

So far, I haven't told a LOT of people...my hubby is 100% supportive, and my homegirl co-worker who had the surgery (and her hubby too) is completely supportive.

I don't think I'll tell a whole bunch of people - I don't need the drama. I guess the haters will be haters no matter what - though it is really hurtful when someone you considered a good friend is no longer treating you like a friend.

I'm sorry for that and for your hurt - but as my daughter and her young friends like to say...Keep it movin!

[curvesincali 0]

Amen Ladies,

The only people I told was my sister (RN) husband ( driver) and co-worker ( only because she will cover my class).

I look forward to being known for me instead of "she has a great perosonality".... which we all know means FAT.... cause they are too stupid to say anything else:sneaky:.

[neenz 0]

Hi there,

yes i can imagine this happening between friends and i'm sure it also happens within relationships as well, its all to do with other peoples insecurities, they are feeling secure because its you thats the fat one and their whole world is about to change if you lose weight, I have kind of experienced this in the past, a sort of competition between myself and a good friend of mine if she feels that i have lost weight she gets all worked up about it and she starts on a strict regime, i refuse to become involved in this anymore, i have also seen this kind of negativeness between my sister and her husband, she is overweight, he is not, and every time she tries to lose weight he does things to sabotage it, then beats her down at a later date about how fat she is etc nasty nasty nasty!

Anyway, i am getting banded soon i will find out the date tomorrow :tt2: but i have only told 1 of my friends, my mother and my sister, unfortunately my sister cannot get the funds together to have the band (that husband again i think) and i do hope that once i have it done and start losing, she doesn't get jealous :thumbup:.