banded and depressed

[Linds 0]

Michelle, I am five years out and lost over 150lbs in the first year but have put back over 70 of them. I have suffered with the dreaded reflux for the past 3 years and although I don't think I am overtight, I know I should visit my surgeon for him to assess the situation because sometimes I throw everything up apart from chocolate!!! So why don't I go back - simple I don't want him to see I've been a failure! My band is fine, it is me that has failed. If I really concentrate and put the effort in, and stop feeding myself the crap, the band will work for me...I just need to abide by the rules. But like you I probably do need to take the bull by the horns and see my Doc.

Good luck girl....this band isn't our enemy but our friend....we may not always get on, but it will always be there for us. I don't treat mine very well and for that I am sorry but I hope to put that right...need to get my head sorted.

[Sugarbear 2]

Michelle, hope this finds you doing better. Take those first steps to get better. Go see your doctor, get back on your meds, then give yourself some time and see what results you come up with. You are right in every way about feeling bad when you don't succeed. All of us are different. What works for one may not work as well for another. You have to give yourself another chance to possibly a different approach. So erase that slate and start over. We all mess up from time to time. Start with your meds if they help your state of mind. I am sure your doctor's office will work with you on payments, just ask. You can do this....you just have to get this ball rolling. Keep us informed. Good luck. & MAKE THAT CALL!!!!!!!

[michelle1820 0]

It is so nice to hear that I'm not alone. I'm serious that whenever you go to these sites it is people who are all rah-rah about the band; people excited that they just go the band or people who have lost 1000 pounds on the band and just can't believe how happy they are. You never find the unsuccessful stories. And one site that I asked a question to about 2 years ago, literally everyone jumped down my throat because I complained about the band. It was all very "cult like" and it really discouraged me from reaching out. I've felt trapped and just miserable with this thing inside me. I also feel like I've let my husband down. I am a self pay and we pay $340 a month for this thing only to have it fail. But you are correct in that it's not that it failed but it's my emotional state. I say to my husband that I just thought this thing would carry me so much further than it did. I thought just having the thing inside me would be enough. But now it's down to diet and exercise. Well if I could do that, then I would have done it on Weight Watchers or something like that. I got this thing in me so that the choice would no longer be mine and that I would be forced to not be able to eat. So it's no wonder I'm miserable when I'm the one who put myself in this prison. Let's lean on each other, okay? I hope you are doing well and feeling supported. I know I'm feeling a lot better after posting this and getting such wonderful replies.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Michelle...you keep calling it "this thing inside me"...and while I do not know how you feel (I think of mine as a friend already, actually) I can empathize. Do you think perhaps some therapy could help you? Because If I felt like it was "a thing inside me" I don't think there would be enough anti-depressants or fills/unfills to make me happy about it. It can be a big help in losing (although I know you have not experienced that yet)....I wonder if a different surgeon/practice might be helpful to you? someone with more education etc? It might cost a little but so worth it for your happiness!

Hang in there!